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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Other special days
amother
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 Mon, Aug 05 2024, 1:17 pm
My husband is trying to encourage me to eat fleishigs. I just came out of a 2 week hospital stay where I was very sick and I am still weak.
The only other time I did this during the 9 days was post partum when my hemoglobin was dangerously low .
My reasoning for now wanting to is (1) the pain in the neck of cooking myself a second supper (2) would be kinda embarrassing to explain to my kids.
Its not that the doctors specifically said I have to eat fleishigs, but I am on a pretty limited diet medically right now and on top of that I don’t like fish and can’t tolerate much dairy . Wwyd?
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amother
Forsythia
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 1:26 pm
one of my older teens is eating fleishigs this year.
I am making a special supper for her every night.
Your health is important.
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gdgirl
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 1:29 pm
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this is a question for your rabbi. If he says its permissible in your situation then you should feel no discomfort in telling your kids you are doing this al pi daas torah. as far as the pain of cooking twice-maybe you can cook something simple like sheet pan style and cook for more than one night at a time like stew or chili style. refua sheleima
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flowerpower
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 1:30 pm
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Why don’t you call your lor and run it by him?
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amother
Slategray
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 1:51 pm
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Why is it embarrassing to tell your kids that you may eat meat due to your illness?? It's not embarrassing at all. Maybe talk to your LOR. I'm sure you'd get a heter in your situation.
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mha3484
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 1:57 pm
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Can your DH make you a separate meal? You need to eat properly so you get better. I would not worry about being embarrassed. You should have a refuah shelaima!
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amother
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 2:06 pm
Listen to a siyum and you can have meat.
When I was a kid that’s what happened in camp every day.
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amother
Butterscotch
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 2:40 pm
My dh is eating chicken for supper for medical reasons. My kids know it's for his health and the rav said he should.
I'm going to be making things that are easy and can work for 2 days
On a cookie sheet, put a bag of frozen broccoli florets. Bake at 450 for 10 minutes. Add cubed sweet potato and sprinkle salt and pepper over broccoli and sweet potato. Lower oven to 425. Place thin cutlets on the same sheet pan. In a separate bowl, mix honey, spicy brown mustard, oil, salt and pepper. Pour over chicken. Bake for 25 minutes.
In a 9x13 pan, put chunks of carrot and zucchini. Place chicken legs on top. Drizzle oil over it. Sprinkle spices-garlic powder, paprika, onion powder, salt and pepper. Cover and bake at 350 for 4 hours.
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Cheiny
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 2:43 pm
| amother Brickred wrote: | Listen to a siyum and you can have meat.
When I was a kid that’s what happened in camp every day. |
For people who don’t need it, that is not a great thing to do…
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Brit in Israel
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 2:43 pm
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The best chinuch you can give your kids is show them that you are asking a Rav and if he says yes you are allowed and it's a Mitzva for you to eat meaty.
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amother
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 2:43 pm
| Cheiny wrote: | | For people who don’t need it, that is not a great thing to do… |
I know, but she needs it so that’s why I was mentioning it.
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amother
Sapphire
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 3:09 pm
I'm eating chicken because I'm nursing and my baby has a reaction when I eat dairy (blood in stool ).
It does feel weird but I'm doing anyway cuz I don't want to starve and I don't eat fish. I'm going to be doing dimple broiled chicken/grilled cutlets with salads for supper.
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Cheiny
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 3:16 pm
| amother Brickred wrote: | | I know, but she needs it so that’s why I was mentioning it. |
Right, I was referring to those (mostly men) who go looking for a siyum (which they normally wouldn’t attend) just so they can eat meat.
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amother
Mulberry
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 3:45 pm
I have a heater to eat chicken/turkey until shvuah sh'chal bo.
No meat.
Maybe do a chicken salad or wrap for lunch and then dairy supper with your kids. That way they won't see it. Obviously make sure it's enough hours in between....
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amother
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 8:08 pm
| gdgirl wrote: | | this is a question for your rabbi. If he says its permissible in your situation then you should feel no discomfort in telling your kids you are doing this al pi daas torah. as far as the pain of cooking twice-maybe you can cook something simple like sheet pan style and cook for more than one night at a time like stew or chili style. refua sheleima |
I was told I am allowed to/ still considered a choleh sheyash bo saksnah and not to do anything that makes me uncomfortable/ harder for me (like I could take a bath since I can’t stand long enough to take a shower).
I am more just weighing in my head how much of a difference eating fleishig will actually make and if I really need to or can manage.
I try and put on a show for my kids, they know that Mommy has a lot of medical issues but they have no idea the extent of things. . I still remember Yom Kippur my daughter kept asking why I was eating because I wasn’t so sick. I try to balance giving them enough info to understand why I sometimes randomly get hospitalized or have other medical emergencies while still making them feel secure and stable and thinking that it’s no big deal . In their mind I an like any other mommy, they don’t think of me as sick and I could see some of the kids having a hard time if I eat food they like in front of them.
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amother
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 8:09 pm
| amother Slategray wrote: | | Why is it embarrassing to tell your kids that you may eat meat due to your illness?? It's not embarrassing at all. Maybe talk to your LOR. I'm sure you'd get a heter in your situation. |
Because I try so hard to put on a show for my kids that I am healthy and can do everything like every other mother. I try not to make them feel like I am unwell .
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amother
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 8:12 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | | Can your DH make you a separate meal? You need to eat properly so you get better. I would not worry about being embarrassed. You should have a refuah shelaima! |
He is honestly so overwhelmed with taking care of the kids right now and driving me to all these appointments, he hasn’t had time for much of anything.
Today was all day in the hospital doing pre op tests. Tomorrow I am having surgery. Friday I have a pet scan. Sunday I have another bunch of tests. Running my schedule is a full time job till I get clearance to drive again.
We were getting food from bikkur Cholim but stopped when I was out of critical condition, but maybe we should go back to getting meals for another week or so. That would probably solve the whole food dilemma and make things easier.
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amother
Starflower
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 8:20 pm
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I ordered some cooked chicken when I was allowed in the 9 days. I didn't have the strength to cook. Plenty of people do this. Please take care of your health!!
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Perly1
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 8:22 pm
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Definitely get food from Bikur Cholim. Look after yourself and refuah shleima.
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