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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
OP
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 Sun, Aug 04 2024, 5:58 pm
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....58232
So my neighbor texted me last week asking if I know my YT plans yet. Being that we have a not well parent I’m pretty sure we know our plans and they include not being home at all.
My options
1. Just say no I’m not comfortable having guests in my empty house. She will know I’m not home and know that there’s a reason I changed my mind
2. Tell her what went wrong and offer that her guests could stay but to pls not treat my house like a free hotel
3. Ask to speak to the couple (same couple as last time - she specifically texted me that they asked if my home is avail again) and tell the couple why I felt uncomfortable with what happened last time.
WWYD?
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amother
Cinnamon
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 6:01 pm
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I wouldn't give my empty house to guests.
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oneofakind
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 6:07 pm
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You are allowed to say no if you want to.
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amother
Cornsilk
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 6:09 pm
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I’d say no we aren’t lending out our house at this time.
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amother
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 6:09 pm
given that which you wrote I would say: "we don't and won't know our plans for certain until the last minute and I cannot make any arrangements regarding our home." Rinse and repeat.
I have leant my empty home but you wrote enough that I wouldn't do so again were I you and not to that family in particular.
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kenz
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 6:10 pm
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You have to do what you feel comfortable with. If you are comfortable allowing them to return and discussing the camera situation openly, kol hakavod. If that or any other reason is enough for you to prefer not to host them again, that is perfectly reasonable as well. If the cameras/doorbell is actually the only issue, it’s probably worth a conversation; they probably thought it was problematic on yom tov. But you have to do what you feel good about.
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amother
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 6:11 pm
| amother Cornsilk wrote: | | I’d say no we aren’t lending out our house at this time. |
this is the best
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notshanarishona
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 6:15 pm
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Personally I wouldn’t give my house to anyone who I didn’t know and trust (both to leave it as they got it, take good care of my stuff, not mess with thermostat/ wifi/ fridge settings, etc ). I would be wary of lending out to a stranger unless it was a guest bedroom while I was home. Every time we have lent out our house or apartment we have come to regret it.
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tweety1
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 6:19 pm
| amother OP wrote: | https://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=558232
So my neighbor texted me last week asking if I know my YT plans yet. Being that we have a not well parent I’m pretty sure we know our plans and they include not being home at all.
My options
1. Just say no I’m not comfortable having guests in my empty house. She will know I’m not home and know that there’s a reason I changed my mind
2. Tell her what went wrong and offer that her guests could stay but to pls not treat my house like a free hotel
3. Ask to speak to the couple (same couple as last time - she specifically texted me that they asked if my home is avail again) and tell the couple why I felt uncomfortable with what happened last time.
WWYD? |
I never give my house to guest when I'm not home. My mother wanted my married nephew to be in my apartment with no kids and I said no. Never ever. When I'm home, I'm more than glad to host. When I'm not home nobody enters my house even for a minute!
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essie14
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 10:58 pm
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"No, I cannot lend my house out" is a complete sentence. Lather, rinse, repeat
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amother
Snowflake
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 11:07 pm
We never do. Dh is very against the idea, even for pay. He doesn't like the idea of people going through out stuff, breaking, possibly stealing, etc.
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amother
Coffee
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 11:31 pm
| amother OP wrote: | https://www.imamother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=558232
So my neighbor texted me last week asking if I know my YT plans yet. Being that we have a not well parent I’m pretty sure we know our plans and they include not being home at all.
My options
1. Just say no I’m not comfortable having guests in my empty house. She will know I’m not home and know that there’s a reason I changed my mind
2. Tell her what went wrong and offer that her guests could stay but to pls not treat my house like a free hotel
3. Ask to speak to the couple (same couple as last time - she specifically texted me that they asked if my home is avail again) and tell the couple why I felt uncomfortable with what happened last time.
WWYD? |
Say no.
You had a bad experience with them last time, you don't have to do that again.
"Unfortunately we can't host your couple again, I hope you find someone who can."
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amother
Blush
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Sun, Aug 04 2024, 11:57 pm
I would go with 1 because -
A. I would not be comfortable leaving my empty house, especially after what happened
B. I don't think it is a "disconnecting the cameras" issue at this point. If anyone felt it was okay to do that in my house without asking me, FOR WHATEVER REASON, I wouldn't trust that they would not cross other boundaries because "they said cameras, they didn't mention the wifi/fridge or whatever", and I couldn't possibly cover all the things I would expect guests to have the common sense and respect not to do in my house if I am allowing them to stay in it.
So options B and C would at this point be not relevant and possibly lashon hora.
We are not lending our house out when we are not home at this time, period.
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amother
NeonGreen
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 12:15 am
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I get the feeling that you don't feel comfortable doing this, and you don't have to. Just say no.
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amother
Amaryllis
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 1:33 am
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If you are in an area that its common to help each other out with sleeping arrangements and you want to try again, disconnect the bedroom cameras yourself beforehand and tell them under no circumstances may they touch any of the electronic stuff but you've disconnected the bedroom cameras for their privacy. Or say due to last time, you will only be comfortable hosting guests when you are home.
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amother
Purple
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 2:13 am
I would probably say that we’re not going to have people use our home this time without any explanation.
You don’t have to lend out your house and you definitely don’t have to explain why you don’t want to.
Or you can say that you probably won’t know your plans until last minute…
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Brit in Israel
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 2:16 am
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Can you say you don't want the pressure of leaving a house ready for guest this time.
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CPenzias
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Mon, Aug 05 2024, 2:42 am
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Just say no. They were disrespectful last time.
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