Sleep training/falling asleep sitting up

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 10:09 am

Need help/advice.

I'm late to the sleep training thing my 14mo. She was in my bed up until now. I DO NOT need to be told this was wrong, or have any comments on this.
I have attempted sleep training multiple times, but bc of my work schedule, and having a lot of other children at home I couldn't stick with it for multiple reasons.

I have been doing sleep training again, started a couple nights ago. I see that in a lot of ways it is better bjw. BUT, she refuses to lay down in the crib. She has been falling asleep sitting up! I've been trying to get her to lay down, before and after she's fallen asleep, but she wakes up and screams and sits back up each time.
Last night she seems to have fallen asleep sitting upfor like 4 hrs! I was so tired I fell asleep and so didn't catch it earlier. Idk what to do! Has this happened to anyone?Please help!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 10:17 am

amother Charcoal wrote:

Totally normal they usually lay down and stop doing it after a week. I’d leave ot if they are uncomfortable they will lay down in their sleep.

Oh, really? Ok. I felt sooooo awful, bc she was quiet and I didn't want to wake her if she'd fallen asleep. But then I fell asleep b4 peaking in. And when I woke up and saw the time and she was still quiet and snuck in to check, and saw she was asleep, sitting up, not leaning on the bars even, looked like a statue and I panicked and felt like the worst mom ever.

Anyways, thanks so much for your response!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 10:44 am

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

It’s so nice that baby co slept. Thats very special for baby.
Thats uncomfortable to sleep sitting up. Can stay with her patting her back and calming her lying down?

Thanks. I enjoyed it to an extent, but she slept TERRIBLY in my bed, waking up every hr or 2. And then recently started rolling off my bed, and so there's no redeeming factor.

I've actually been staying in her room, set up a bed there for me. And sat in rocking chair next to her. But she refuses to lay down. Last night, after almost 2 hrs of screaming, while I sat next to her, singing, trying to pather back, saying over and over "mommy is here, it's ok" I left, and let her stay in there by herself. Bc I needed to put food away from dinner b4 it went bad... when I was done, she was quiet . And I decided to stretch out on my bed to wait and see, bc I didn't want to start the whole thing over if I went in too soon...and I fell asleep.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 10:50 am

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

Also if sleep training means having her cry that’s really sad for baby. Please find a better way.

Believe me, If there was another way, I would! Do u have real suggestions? Bc literally only way shell sleep is nursing. She won't take bottles, passies, anything. She WONT stop crying, even if I'm there the whole night, next to her, which I have been since we started. She will stop if I hold her, but if I put her down while she's awake, or if she wakes up from transferring her she starts again.
So, unless u have actual fool proof way of doing it without that, I'm at a loss.
I've tried a LOT of different things MANY times. I am not a cruel heartless person just leaving her baby in a crib alone! And if she slept in my bed, I'd let her stay!! But she doesn't sleep more than an hr. I've been doing that for 14mo, and bad sleep during pregnancy. So I'm 2 yrs in to no sleep and I've reached my breaking point.

She needs to be in a crib. I AM next to her, it was ONLY last night that I left. For like 10 min by the way...

Brit in Israel ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 10:55 am

amother OP wrote:

Your doing great!
Just do what's best for you and her in the long term.

As other said once she is used to sleeping on her own she should stop with the sitting sleep

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 10:57 am

Brit in Israel wrote:

Your doing great!
Just do what's best for you and her in the long term.

As other said once she is used to sleeping on her own she should stop with the sitting sleep

Thanks. The whole thing breaks my heart, but like I said above, I can't do it any other way, bc it's unsustainable any other way.

↑ Brit in Israel

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 11:10 am

amother OP wrote:

Thanks. The whole thing breaks my heart, but like I said above, I can't do it any other way, bc it's unsustainable any other way.

I totally get how painful it is for you. When I do gentle sleep training -going in every 2 mins to pay their back, I cry outside the room it's so painful but it's the best for them.
You will see how much of a difference yours and your childs day will be once the schedule has become normal and you bothered get to sleep well each night.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 11:15 am

Brit in Israel wrote:

Thank you. I really needed to hear this right now. I've been a mess. It's a lot.

amother

Butterscotch ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 11:16 am

amother OP wrote:

I actually feel like this is harder on the kid as long as you are in the room shes going to scream she thinks there is hope u will take her out if you are not there it’s easier for them to relax and also not as confusing why is mommy sitting right there but not taking me out

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 11:24 am

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Right. That seemed to be the thing last night. She was ok when I left. I'm so torn, I don't want her to go from me there all night to me not there, but she responds/sleeps better when I leave!

amother

↑ Butterscotch

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 11:26 am

amother OP wrote:

Right. That seemed to be the thing last night. She was ok when I left. I'm so torn, I don't want her to go from me there all night to me not there, but she responds/sleeps better when I leave!

I totally understand the struggle but u need to do whats best for both of u!

amother

↑ Lemonchiffon ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 1:45 pm

It’s a challenging situation.
If you wont be nursing her offer her a sippy cup of water or milk and make sure she is getting enough food during the day.
Personally I would just nurse her to sleep as they eventually outgrow it and it’s nice for baby as well.
If you want more ideas read Elizabeth Pantley’s book “No Cry Sleep Solution”.
Good luck and I hope you and your baby get some sleep.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 1:53 pm

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

My baby is 14mo, almost 15months. She's had solid food, sippy cups etc, since 6mo so she has nutrients. I do still nurse her before putting her in the crib. Just in a rocking chair, not my bed. I try giving a bottle in her crib, she is not so interested, but it's there.
And I remind her often by trying to give it to her or else showing her. She will play drink from it outside the crib. No interest in the crib. Almost makes her madder.
She's a very stubborn kid. All my kids are stubborn, she's definitely the most stubborn I have tho.

I also have spoken to MULTIPLE, MULTIPLE, Pediatricians, done my own research as well. Not taking anything lightly, and definitely not abandoning her in her crib for 12 hours without hydration or milk or whatever.
Thanks.

seeker

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 1:53 pm

Had that with my first. She fell asleep sitting up the first couple of days and then realized sleeping in a crib is really fine after all. It was a sad couple of days but I was pretty sure she was old enough to understand what was going on and was just upset, not traumatized.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 2:18 pm

seeker wrote:

Thank you! Smile

amother

↑ Lemonchiffon ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 2:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

You sound very devoted. I hope it all works out.
With my stubborn kids, I just continue to nurse them when they want. They eventually grow out of it and we save both of us a lot of tears.
That might not work for you and I hope it works out for you as gently as possible.