Baby just falls asleep?

amother

↑ Honeydew

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 11:05 am

tichellady wrote:

I think is a crazy expectation for a newborn baby and a postpartum mother. Good for you that it worked but no one should feel and that they couldn’t implement gentle sleep training on a newborn

But also my question is how did this person even do that? Put them down before they’re tired. Newborns literally always fall asleep feeding. They’re so sleepy!

amother

↑ Aubergine

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 11:05 am

amother Coffee wrote:

I agree nothing is as important. I do the same with my babies. They all sleep well long term and sleep isn’t a bad thing. Nursing to sleep is amazing for babies.

I'm not sure. That is super intense! I hope you have enough help!

I had larger gaps.
4.5 years, 3 years, 21 months.
My oldest is 11, baby 2.

amother

↑ Hyssop ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 11:41 am

At night my baby's tend to fall asleep on me because I try to nurse as close as I can to bed time so that they can have the longest stretch possible.

During the day though, once they start having actual naps instead of sleeping most of the day, I feed on demand more than on a schedule and nap time is a good time to get them to learn how to self soothe.

amother

↑ Lemonlime ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 11:51 am

amother Honeydew wrote:

Wouldn’t feeding in a dark space make the baby associate sleep with feeding?

I'm sorry. I meant the last feed before 'bedtime' and all overnight feeds.

amother

↑ Lemonlime

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 11:54 am

amother Honeydew wrote:

Right I know that. My baby always fell asleep nursing etc. but I was just responding to the poster who said to create habits from day one I thought she meant falling asleep by themselves (which I said was naturally not possible). But she clarified just overall good habits.

well, I don't nurse and I don't cosleep. so even if they fall asleep while I'm bottle feeding, they usually rouse when they're transferred. I never feed with the intention of putting them to sleep. but my overall point about good habits is universal

amother

↑ Coffee ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 1:55 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

I'm not sure. That is super intense! I hope you have enough help!

I had larger gaps.
4.5 years, 3 years, 21 months.
My oldest is 11, baby 2.

I had no help other than dh. It’s really important to me so other things don’t happen but this does. Nurse to sleep and to be there for my babies when they need me day or night.
My kids and teens are well adjusted and I think large part due to the care they received as babies and toddlers.

amother

↑ Coffee ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 1:57 pm

amother Hyssop wrote:

When you say self soothe, you mean by themselves or that they cry to sleep?

pnimi

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 2:00 pm

In my experience, it depends on the child. My 1st two definitely not, my third now is the first to often fall asleep on her own.

I think Hashem gives us what we can handle. At this stage in my life I don't think I would physically manage if I had a difficult baby who took hours to put to bed.

amother

↑ Hyssop

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 2:38 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

When you say self soothe, you mean by themselves or that they cry to sleep?

They do not cry. If they would, I'd stay & calm them until they stopped with shushing noises, back rub, holding their little hand, 😍 pop in a paci. Then I move from view & hope they don't restart, or if they do, stop after 2 min. Bh they usually do.

Usually they kvetch cry. But I let them, until they drift off.

amother

↑ Powderblue

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 2:39 pm

amother Coffee wrote:

Just nurse baby to sleep. This is really hard for baby.

I did until he wasn’t fall asleep anymore nursing at around 8 or 9 months and then it was rocking him endlessly in my arms. He ended up sleeping very little and was always kvetchy.

amother

↑ OP

Sat, Aug 03 2024, 10:35 pm

Thanks everyone❤️ To be honest I’m trying so hard to figure out what to do. I’ve tried different nap times and lengths and bed times and feeding more solids. Sometimes he’ll sleep for a 4 hour stretch at night which is life changing. With the 8 month sleep regression that hasn’t happened as much. My instinct tells me to hold him and soothe him when he needs me, but I guess I can’t complain then lol.

amother

↑ Coffee

Sat, Aug 03 2024, 11:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Follow your instincts. Hashem gave us motherly intuition. You won’t regret nursing and holding an 8 month old at night. A baby is only a baby once.

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 12:10 am

I didn't read replies, just original post op, but I was recommended this book by multiple lactation consultant, maybe it'd be helpful for you?
Theres more than one variation, like one for toddlers which I'm not familiar with, but I'm in the middle of this one:

The No-Cry Sleep Solution, Second Edition https://a.co/d/iCYqdAp

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 2:01 am

amother OP wrote:

Oy wish I would have known

Eh, I "knew" and it didn't help. Did everything by the book from day 1 and baby just wasn't having it. I gave up and just give him whatever comfort he needs.