When I play a game with my child..

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 3:27 pm

When I play a game with my 6 year old child he gets very upset when he doesn’t win and starts crying. He says it’s not fair. I tried explaining to him many times that we play games to enjoy ourselves and that it doesn’t matter who wins. Also, I explained that when we follow the rules of the game whatever the outcome is, it is fair whether we win or not. I also comfort him when he is crying and validate his feelings. I tell him that he can continue to play the game so that he can also win, but that doesn’t satisfy him. Many times we play the game again and again until he wins. Do any smart imas have ideas what I can do differently to help him feel that it’s okay when he doesn’t win a game? Am I doing something wrong? Is this normal behavior that he will outgrow? Thanks in advance.

mommyla ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 3:35 pm

My kids have all gone through sore loser phases (some for longer than others...). One trick that has made a real difference is a simple one, our rule is winner cleans up! My 6-year-old will get pouty for a minute and then say "okay, haha, now you have to clean up" so it takes away some of the sting.

amother

Copper ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 3:41 pm

As a Bubby I play games with the grand kids
They know I have 1 rule. No Dre losers
If they do that then I stop playing or don’t play a game with them next time. I ll build Lego or magnatile instead
They learned really fast
Also when I’m losing I make a joke about it and act like it’s fun.
I say things like , wow this is so much fun.

amother

Petunia

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 3:44 pm

I still let may kids win at that age. They eventually grow out of it & it doesn't effect them later on. They come to realize what playing a game means.

↑ mommyla

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 3:53 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

I still let may kids win at that age. They eventually grow out of it & it doesn't affect them later on. They come to realize what playing a game means.

This is true and I’ll sometimes let them win, but kids are smart and they’ll know when you’re losing on purpose. Plus it’s good for them to practice losing gracefully with me rather than with their friends.

amother

↑ Copper

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 3:57 pm

mommyla wrote:

Also build skill

Brit in Israel

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 4:06 pm

Throughout the game I keep repeating as long as we are having fun it doesnt matter who wins, we play for fun not to win.
some take the losing better but after a few mins of comisseration I ask if they had fun whilst playing coz that is the main part of the game.

teachkids

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 4:15 pm

Cooperative games where you play together against the board and win or lose together are great for this

amother

Mintcream

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 4:17 pm

I used to have this with once of my kids and I always asked before the game if he wants to play fair or does he want me to let him win and over time he wanted to play fair more and more.

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