How can I answer without lying

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:09 am

When someone asks if I'm fasting today? The truth is no, 15 wks pregnant, but none of your business! Youngest dd is almost 4 so obviously not nursing. I get asked by my preteens, their friends, and even some adults around Surprised

- not sure what they're thinking!

amother

Brunette

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:14 am

I answer no, I don’t. If asked why, my answer is
This is what my husband wants.
And change the subject.
It’s no ones business.

amother

Peony

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:16 am

amother OP wrote:

- not sure what they're thinking!

"No,I broke my fast this morning when I woke up." Sounds accidental, but you didn't say that

"No, I've been feeling a little under the weather so I'm not fasting." (True if you've been nauseous or tired from pregnancy).

Lots of people break their fast/don't fast minor fasts for minor reasons. Just pick the reason that's closest to your experience.

#BestBubby

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:16 am

Maybe fast a few hours ( skip breakfast)

And you can honestly say you fasted.

[Not all day]

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:19 am

I am not nursing.. my youngest is 20 months.

I think ppl are waiting for my pregnancy announcement bec my other kids are much closer together

I happen to be fasting till chatzos today but I get you..

Elfrida

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:19 am

At fifteen weeks you're probably beginning to show. This could be a roundabout way of asking if you're pregnant. Not a very polite one.

For your children and their friends you can tell them it's not a polite question, and you're not going to answer it. If you want, you can explain there are lots of reasons why someone might not be able to fast (diabetes, former eating disorder, etc) but they are not things we like to ask questions about.

Your co-workers it's a bit harder.

amother

Forsythia

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:26 am

I am 16 weeks bH and showing a bit already. No one asked me but my kids know already and so do my close friends and family. At work I’d try to be discreet and shut my door so as not to announce that I’m not fasting.

amother

Ruby ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:28 am

You say "why do you ask?" With a smirk like you're joking around with them
They have nothing to answer, hopefully they learn not to ask

Or if you want you can say I don't think it's appropriate to ask other people that

amother

Stone

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:30 am

I am not fasting today and I’m not nursing or pregnant or any health issues bh. This is my family’s minhag. If someone asked me, I would say no I’m not and that’s that.

tichellady ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:32 am

I think you are overthinking this. There are a million reasons why people don’t fast

amother

Candycane

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:38 am

I think enough people would just accept you weren't feeling great as enough of a reason.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:40 am

Thanks all. I have fasted every fast for 3 yrs straight so saying any kind of "no" feels like a pregnancy announcement. Also like firebrick my other kids were born much closer together so everyone's waiting...
After my 16 week sono if everything's ok beh I won't mind if ppl know. And no I don't think I'm showing {probably the only perk of being overweight}

amother

↑ Ruby ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:41 am

At the end of the day it's rude to ask and you don't owe anyone an answer if you don't want to answer

amother

Impatiens

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:42 am

Say I usually do but this time my doctor said I shouldn’t so I’m drinking water and eating the bare minimum or if u can, change the topic, don’t answer , or pretend you didn’t hear. You can also ask the question back to them, “Are you ?”

amother

Hunter

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:42 am

amother OP wrote:

- not sure what they're thinking!

No, for health reasons.
Enough.

I got the same issue today. Invited a friend for an outing and she asked, Won‘t you be wiped out from fasting?
Oops. Forgot that other moms are fasting today..

amother

Plum

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:43 am

I hate when people ask this question. I am not a good faster. This year it was mild outside the days leading up to the fast and I prepared. Over hydrated a little. Ate well the days before. I will take it easy today. And tomorrow. But not everyone has these options. You do what works for you. My 13 year old is terrified of fasting because she is growing and always hungry. I told her if she doesn't feel well she can break it. This is not such an important fast but if you can do it you should try.