How is LinkedIn considered ok?

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:29 am

ora_43 wrote:

Am I the only one who's not seeing the flirting?

Those messages come across to me as friendly. Very lightly teasing. But flirting? Either of those is easily something a woman could say to a (straight) woman, or a man to a man.

If "wow, (name), that food you made looks amazing" is a flirty, inappropriate comment, what does appropriate even look like? "Wow, Mrs. Cohen, that looks like hot garbage"?

Of course you are not.
I think the more sheltered women see some things as flirtimg when it may literally be just replying in a friendly way.
I have never seen flirting. And Ive asked others who use linkedin a lot. Theyve also never seen flirting.

essie14

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:31 am

amother Phlox wrote:

I agree the commenting is totally inappropriate. No boundaries. Even recommending someone for work with praise is too friendly. Compliments from one gender to the other are already too far.

A man can't recommend a woman he's worked with??
Sorry, that's a bit much.
I worked in the secular world for years.
Of course people recommend colleagues and co workers.

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:41 am

amother Phlox wrote:

I agree the commenting is totally inappropriate. No boundaries. Even recommending someone for work with praise is too friendly. Compliments from one gender to the other are already too far.

And ill repeat myself. This view is coming from sheltered folk. Most people who work in the outside world, not in frum companies, compliments are fine. As long as its work based, what is wrong with that? Nothing. Not in the big bad secular world.

amother

↑ Arcticblue

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:54 am

OP is not referring to comments like “great job”. Look across Jewish LinkedIn and you will find lots of emojis, LOLs, and personal non work related comments between the genders, something that would never take place in real life in the communities these folks are part of.

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:02 am

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Then there is the issue. Not that linkedin is bad. Its that the sheltered folks who are using it dont know how to properly use it. And thats a whoooole nother topic of why either stay sheltered or learn how to work with the opposite gender.

amother

↑ Phlox ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:04 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I'm actually not from a sheltered background at all. I didn't describe the comments very well. They would be fine in some secular circles, but are not the way you would speak to a person of the opposite gender as a frum person. Lots of very personal, gushing compliments, definitely flirty. I've been at the receiving end and you can't help but feel butterflies when people praise you like that.

amother

↑ Phlox

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:06 am

essie14 wrote:

A man can't recommend a woman he's worked with??
Sorry, that's a bit much.
I worked in the secular world for years.
Of course people recommend colleagues and co workers.

Not just a recommendation. It's the way it's done - it makes you feel too special.

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:08 am

amother Phlox wrote:

Not just a recommendation. It's the way it's done - it makes you feel too special.

But dont you see, thats the way YOU are perceiving it. It does not mean thats how its being said.

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:32 am

amother Watermelon wrote:

This is just silly - to say that it's the sheltered people who are the problem. No- it's the interaction itself. If it's wrong it's wrong. It's a slippery slope.

Im saying, as have others on this thread, that it is possibly sheltered people who are having these interactions. And yes, that is a BIG problem. I have not seen such interactions.

↑ LovesHashem

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:42 am

ora_43 wrote:

I agree it's not flirting. But teasing and overly complimenting someone of the opposite gender is not appropriate and something I would not do.

There's a way to compliment, in a direct basic way "That was a great presentation" "Well done" "This looks great" and overly complimenting is:

"OMG this is insanee, the way you matched up those details with these just go soo perfectly! Wow mindblown!"

I'd compliment the first examples I gave, not the latter.

LinkedIn is rampant with this teasing, witty comeback, and friendly banter that is just too close for people of the opposite gender. The overly complimenting as well.

Would I call it flirting? No. But it can lead to that, as it can lead to friendship.

I am not sheltered for reference and grew up interacting with men and boys all the time is a small OOT community.

Last edited by LovesHashem on Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:43 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Orange

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:52 am

I'm not sheltered and literally get second hand embrassement when seeing these frum comments on LI. Not just comments but also posts which seem innocently business related but scream "look at me! I'm amazing!!!. Super annoying to read.

little neshamala

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:03 pm

amother Watermelon wrote:

This is just silly - to say that it's the sheltered people who are the problem. No- it's the interaction itself. If it's wrong it's wrong. It's a slippery slope.

I disagree.
I know exactly what kind of comments people are referring to. They definitely cross a blurry line, and in general you do not see these comments in the secular world.
What happened is, when communities are told "No internet unless its for business, no this, no that" all that accomplished is eliminating certain people (the ones who listen) from using certain social media. Thats it.
Our community can benefit from learning HOW to use social media appropriately, how to respond to a post in a polite way that is not too familiar etc.
Its really not the platform thats the issue, but the way people are using it. And that applies to everything.

amother

↑ Papayawhip ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:05 pm

Growing wrote:

so is Imamother officially off the grid?

asking for a friend

though I'm not minimizing how awesome it is that you're upholding your standards

Honestly, I wish I spent a lot less time here.

But by "off the grid" I meant off social media.

Yes, I know that posters will rush to claim that Imamother is social media just like Instagram and Facebook but come on, who are we kidding? We all know they're worlds apart. Case in point, the issues OP is bringing up with LinkedIn obviously don't happen here.

↑ singleagain ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:06 pm

amother Papayawhip wrote:

Doesn't mean Imamother is not social media. It's just a different style of social media.

PinkFridge ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:07 pm

ora_43 wrote:

I recently heard a chashuve rav (I don't want to say who because I suspect someone out there won't appreciate it. I wish I could because he is so well-regarded and real) talk about social media. He spoke very strongly about the like and other reactions between genders. I will say that I do very little sm but I see the wisdom of his gedarim. Not because anything dramatic is likely to happen, but it still causes unhealthy dynamics.

ETA: Understand that some people are coming from a world where they're very formal, Mr., Rabbi, etc. and Miss, Mrs. etc. (And I personally am most comfortable with that.) There might be a disconnect between how they act IRL and virtually and yes, that kind of disconnect is unhealthy.

Last edited by PinkFridge on Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:08 pm; edited 1 time in total