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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 9:30 pm
My child is a classical example of an uncemented heart and a real tohoo vavohoo. (Hope you can read that) yes I'm his mother and obvious of fault of why he's the way he is, I but she reassured about the not feeling guilty part and im holding onto that So I shouldn't drown in guilt. But my heart goes out for him. He's so badly needs me to start doing targil emun on him, but I'm myself in a bad place and in I'm survival mode which is only getting worse largely due to him and cannot bring myself to at this point to think fondly. He triggers me so badly. But she always says to accept yourself where you're at and only when you're up to it. She also says that a person cannot give when the heart is squashed and mine definitely is. so is she giving me permission to watch him suffer and not doing anything about it, because slowly one day you'll get out of survival mode and be able to give?
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amother
Cadetblue
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 9:39 pm
I took her course and understand your post and relate a lot. Hugs, I hope others can provide better responses/advice.
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amother
Vanilla
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 9:46 pm
I didn't take the course but I do know some ppl who did and your post is very clear. Can you work on yourself to get to a better place and support yourself? Can you reach out to a parenting expert and see if they can guide your parenting so that the behavior is easier for you to handle? Can you give yourself permission to leave go of the things you can't do and embrace the kind of things and ppl who can support you now? I have a child who can be aggressive and at times really scared me. He challenges me a lot and recently I started therapy to deal with this challenge. It's been really helpful.
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amother
DarkGray
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 10:15 pm
I took the course too and totally hear everything that you're saying. I am in the same boat. My dd has been this way since she was born and takes every ounce out of me. I sometimes feel like I'm tohu vavohoo because of her.
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amother
Calendula
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:17 am
how old is your son ? I feel like a full year after the course my son is showing improvements . I’m almost scared to say it . I never did the fill targil with a paper just in my head . I couldn’t decide which kid to do it on since I felt they all needed it . Also reach out and ask her questions the q and as are amazing . By simply understanding him and yourself you are already doing so much .
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