S/o things I learned in frum magazines

1346 ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 2:32 pm

there's always an 'upstairs' in the house
meatballs and spaghettis is a favorite dinner (EEWWWWWWW)
ditto for casserole (never seen one in real life)
the Principal is obviously a kind man with a gray beard, and is strict but with a twinkle in his eye
the mothers are always caressing their daughter's hair while sitting at the edge of their bed

↑ Einikel ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 2:35 pm

GLUE wrote:

I found moving to a new community articles come in two flavors

1)Everything is wonderful best place to move, cons? what cons? it's Utopia

2)They tried to make it work but could not so they moved back

nothing in between

Similar but with dates either it's an epic failure or love at first sight lol

rainbow dash

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 2:43 pm

People can get money from out of thin air to buy the next door neighbours house so they can keep the neighbourhood frum.

rosegold446

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 2:47 pm

mlc wrote:

As it turns out, most rich people are genuinely miserable.
Husbands can only be warm and loving if they are poor.
All woman have time for frequent coffee dates with friends.
All bad things occur when it’s raining.
Grandparents with dementia hold the secret keys to solve all mysteries anyone may have.
Teens at risk can be brought back to frumkeit easily, all you need is cholent and kugel.
Behind every person running a charity event is a miserable spouse.
All poor people have a rich brother who is not giving as much tzeddakah as family would like , family does not care about concept of enabling bad patterns …
Secular people cannot pronounce any Jewish name whatsoever , even if it is an easy name like Ari , etc.

↑ Queen Of Hearts ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 2:50 pm

Couples going through marital conflict have magically well behaved children.

Kids are always magically not around by moments of intensity or conflict.
Bedtime and supper time are done swiftly and easily.

English3

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 3:06 pm

Whenever spouses talk together the wife makes tea and she has cookies. They always sit down by a table with a vase of flowers

PinkFridge

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 3:36 pm

English3 wrote:

Whenever spouses talk together the wife makes tea and she has cookies. They always sit down by a table with a vase of flowers

OK, this isn't a frum thing, but how do people have coffee at these late night talks?

↑ meiravit ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 3:36 pm

1346 wrote:

Lol about the casseroles! I've never known anyone in real life who makes one or eats one!

giselle

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 3:41 pm

meiravit wrote:

Lol about the casseroles! I've never known anyone in real life who makes one or eats one!

My mom 😁

SuperWify

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 4:23 pm

The kettle is always boiling on the stovetop (or is it whistling?)

The aroma of fresh baked cookies permeates the air and the red cheeks smiling children come to school to warm milk and cookies and a smiling mother with a perfect sheitel and lipstick. Everything is utopia Until… their biggest nightmare becomes reality…..

Stay tuned for next weeks installment of the Perfect Life of the Cohens……

Raisin

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:35 pm

These are hilarious.

I don't read the serial stories in frum magazines because I don't have a subscription and I am reading my sil's cast off magazines. I didn't know they were so funny.

What I have learnt:

Everyone has plenty of money to invest in luxury apartments in Yerushalayim.
Families end up fighting over inheritance.
The people who write the kichels must have a webcam in all our houses.

ap ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:37 pm

Lol I thought this would be a serious thread

True friends are mind readers
Childcare, appointments and housekeeping magically dont take up time
Mothers are superwomen and dont need any help

AmedeoAvogadro ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 6:08 pm

ap wrote:

Lol I thought this would be a serious thread

True friends are mind readers
Childcare, appointments and housekeeping magically dont take up time
Mothers are superwomen and dont need any help

Yes about the bolded! She just gets it.

Also, people can make all different kinds of faces e.g she made a face as though to say "when will you be home from maariv?"
And he makes a face as though to say "around seven thirty" and she makes a face as though to say "fine, but not later".

And the target of these very specific faces interpret perfectly but no one around has a clue about the communication.

Sometimes I literally go to the mirror to try make the face described in the magazine but it doesn't exist.

↑ ittsamother ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 6:16 pm

AmedeoAvogadro wrote:

Lol, I once had a whole long conversation with my husband and brother around the phrase, "his eyes twinkled", where I complained that that's not a thing! Eyes don't twinkle! And their entire rejoinder was "but you get what the author intends!"