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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
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 Tue, Jul 16 2024, 2:41 pm
| amother Acacia wrote: | | It's normal for preteens and teens to be extremely self-conscious about their changing bodies, and I don't see any reason not to give them a little more dignity. How hard is it to build a shower door with a vent? |
Of course it's normal for teens to be self conscious, and parents should be sympathetic. But that doesn't mean coddling them. They need to be able to function in life. Will they not use public restrooms in rhe US because of the gaps in the door?
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amother
Papayawhip
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 2:53 pm
One year in camp we had no shower stalls at all. There was a huge room, 1 wall had sinks, 1 wall a bench, and along 2 walls were fixed shower heads. The water only stayed running for a minute or 2 so you had to keep pressing the button for more water. I don't remember where the toilets were, possibly in that same room.
Now that's bad. And really awful for the girls on their period. They ended up having to lock the whole huge room after hours so they could have some privacy.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 2:54 pm
| amother Papayawhip wrote: | One year in camp we had no shower stalls at all. There was a huge room, 1 wall had sinks, 1 wall a bench, and along 2 walls were fixed shower heads. The water only stayed running for a minute or 2 so you had to keep pressing the button for more water. I don't remember where the toilets were, possibly in that same room.
Now that's bad. And really awful for the girls on their period. They ended up having to lock the whole huge room after hours so they could have some privacy. |
That’s horrible. Sounds like a men’s Mikvah/locker room.
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amother
Linen
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 3:12 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Seems like I'm the strange one here lol. What is the big deal to install normal doors so that self conscious teens can shower in total privacy? |
The reason why bathrooms in camps
and schools have open bottoms and tops is so that no inappropriate action goes on in the bathrooms. I assume that would apply for showers too.
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DrMom
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 3:15 pm
| amother Papayawhip wrote: | One year in camp we had no shower stalls at all. There was a huge room, 1 wall had sinks, 1 wall a bench, and along 2 walls were fixed shower heads. The water only stayed running for a minute or 2 so you had to keep pressing the button for more water. I don't remember where the toilets were, possibly in that same room.
Now that's bad. And really awful for the girls on their period. They ended up having to lock the whole huge room after hours so they could have some privacy. |
A camp I attended also had a bunch of showerheads in a large communal room. We called it the "gas chamber." I woke up extra early to shower alone.
We did have toilet stalls with doors, though.
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ra_mom
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 3:17 pm
| amother Currant wrote: | | Do the girls not understand to not walk in on another girl showering? Basic middos and common sense. Closed curtain, don't enter. Open curtain, available shower. |
Or course girls should have middos.
But I'm wondering how you would like to have bathrooms at work that have curtains instead of stalls/doors. The people there using the bathroom are all people you know and work with.
Would you be comfortable?
Last edited by ra_mom on Tue, Jul 16 2024, 3:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 3:18 pm
| amother Linen wrote: | The reason why bathrooms in camps
and schools have open bottoms and tops is so that no inappropriate action goes on in the bathrooms. I assume that would apply for showers too. |
But nothing is preventing camps from installing double curtains, or curtains with magnetic strips to secure or whatever.
Or at least make sure that the curtains are wide enough 100%.
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amother
Plum
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 3:25 pm
| amother Nemesia wrote: | | I had shower curtains in camp Hedvah back in the 80s-90s. What’s the issue? |
Lol my son has the same kind of showers. I was thinking it reminded me of camp hedvah when I went there. My other boys had shower bunk houses.
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mom1st
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 4:59 pm
put on a rob in your room (u can figure out to dress in a tzniusdike way even in front of roommates, or just ask them to turn away for 2 mins)
take your towel with.
hang towel and robe on the curtain rod
shower
dry (behind curtain)
put on robe (behind curtain)
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amother
Oleander
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 5:02 pm
I agree. I wonder if it’s the same camp my cousin sends to.
She was wondering why they have high blast AC in each bunk house but no shower doors.
Back in my day, tznius was a priority and AC was a luxury…
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sequoia
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 5:08 pm
| amother Oleander wrote: | I agree. I wonder if it’s the same camp my cousin sends to.
She was wondering why they have high blast AC in each bunk house but no shower doors.
Back in my day, tznius was a priority and AC was a luxury… |
We had cabins without electricity. We had to use flashlights to go to the bathroom at night. It was a few hundred meters away.
Ah… memories.
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chocolate moose
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 7:28 pm
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be happy they are showering. when ds went to camp, if they swam they did not shower. he would come home after the summer so dirty, I had to loofah him to get the ground in dirt off. he didn't let me do that forever so I can't imagine what his skin is like now as an adult.
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amother
Lightpink
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 7:34 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | The camp I went to had doors that locked. I see that's not the norm lol |
So did mine. I would not want ppl seeing my naked body. Even through a crack.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 7:41 pm
| ra_mom wrote: | Or course girls should have middos.
But I'm wondering how you would like to have bathrooms at work that have curtains instead of stalls/doors. The people there using the bathroom are all people you know and work with.
Would you be comfortable? |
Yeah, it's no less privacy than the doors with giant gaps on the sides. If my coworkers were opening curtains while people were going to the bathroom, I'd mention to HR. And if girls are opening the curtains while another girls is showering, that should also be reported.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 7:44 pm
| amother Linen wrote: | The reason why bathrooms in camps
and schools have open bottoms and tops is so that no inappropriate action goes on in the bathrooms. I assume that would apply for showers too. |
Pretty much all public restrooms in the US have open bottoms and tops. The bottoms are required for ADA complaince.
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amother
Buttercup
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 7:45 pm
| amother Currant wrote: | | And if girls are opening the curtains while another girls is showering, that should also be reported. |
In most camps that’s grounds for automatic expulsion
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amother
Cornsilk
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 7:57 pm
| amother Currant wrote: | | Yeah, it's no less privacy than the doors with giant gaps on the sides. If my coworkers were opening curtains while people were going to the bathroom, I'd mention to HR. And if girls are opening the curtains while another girls is showering, that should also be reported. |
Except that a stiff breeze can open a curtain but it won't open a door.
(I also disagree regarding the openings in the doors. You can see into a stall by looking through those gaps, but you have to press your nose up against it. If it's a curtain, if you walk by casually at the right angle, you see right in.)
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ra_mom
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 8:18 pm
| amother Currant wrote: | | Yeah, it's no less privacy than the doors with giant gaps on the sides. If my coworkers were opening curtains while people were going to the bathroom, I'd mention to HR. And if girls are opening the curtains while another girls is showering, that should also be reported. |
I wouldn't expect my coworkers (or the campers) to open a curtain, but curtains are definitely less private than those doors with the gaps.
Besides for which, I don't know about you but I've lost my balance while changing in a changing room, also while pulling up my skirt and pantyhose in a bathroom stall- and while a door is like a wall that keeps you in the room in such a situation, a curtain does not.
In addition, plenty of times I've had a curtain pulled back while I was trying on in a changing room at a clothing store. It looked like the room was empty to the person who pulled it open in error. When the same thing happened to me while in a bathroom stall, the lock kept that person back and the mistake didn't hurt anybody. (And mind you, in these situations I wasn't fully naked, so not as vulnerable as wet and just coming out of a shower, but it did make me gasp.)
I think you're trivializing this, honestly.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 8:35 pm
| mom1st wrote: | put on a rob in your room (u can figure out to dress in a tzniusdike way even in front of roommates, or just ask them to turn away for 2 mins)
take your towel with.
hang towel and robe on the curtain rod
shower
dry (behind curtain)
put on robe (behind curtain) |
The robe/towel doesn't get wet when it's hanging on the shower rod?
This is such an awkward way to expect girls to shower.
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mizle10
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Tue, Jul 16 2024, 8:41 pm
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Why is it a big deal to shower in a bathing suit? That’s what we used to do.
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