Little girls and makeup

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Jul 14 2024, 8:10 pm

I have no problem at all with pretend makeup for toddlers. Meaning total plastic - just for play. They want to pretend to be mommies.

My girls are preteens now and while they don’t generally wear makeup, I will let them wear lipgloss and maybe a drop of very light eyeshadow for shabbos. No full faces over here. I don’t want them to feel like they need makeup at all, but they know I enjoy my makeup and would never portray it as “bad”. Just not quite age appropriate for them yet.

amother

Cognac

Sun, Jul 14 2024, 8:13 pm

This reminds me of the time my 3yo daughter came home from a playdate wearing nail polish. I was a little taken aback because I never wear nail polish and my daughter literally had no clue what nail polish was. It didn't really bother me in the sense that I felt it was wrong, but I just wasn't really prepared for that at that age. Seemed silly to introduce it so early.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Jul 14 2024, 8:24 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

I live in Lakewood. In. Every. Mainstream. Camp. They are putting a full face of makeup on your dd for mock wedding.
They wear for purim too.

These are girls who are not allowed a stitch of makeup for 8th grade pictures and graduation, never allowed to wear to school, and only extremely subtle makeup for 12th grade pics and graduation. Also, only hair in ponies for all the above!

But camp mock wedding? Purim? Plastic makeup when they are 4? Yes. That is fun.
There is nothing bad.

So this is what is so interesting to me. Up until they hit the age where they would naturally want to wear makeup, we let them wear it because it "makes them feel so special." Then when they get to the age that it's natural for them, we tell them no. Why? Because then they're old enough to attract a boy's attention with it? It just seems so strange that when an older girl wants to wear makeup because it makes her feel special, we make a rule that she can't, but we've been mechanech her for years that makeup is fun and makes you feel special.

I didn't say I didn't let her do anything. I did put blush on her for the mock wedding, and I didn't say anything when the counselors plastered her face with makeup. I didn't buy her the fake makeup when she was little because it was her friend's birthday, not hers, and by the time it was her birthday that year she'd forgotten about it. So from her perspective, I haven't been taking a stand on this at all.

The makeover birthday party is what made me wonder why everyone else seems to think this is normal. Part of it might be that I'm not someone who wears makeup every day. I have no problem wearing it for Yom Tov, to a wedding, things like that. But I'm fine with my face the way it is, I don't need makeup on it to feel special. I want her to feel like that too. I don't love this society that's all obsessed with externals and brands and how people look, and this just seems like an extension of that.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about the birthday party. Probably talk to a few of her close friends' mothers to see what their thoughts are. (I've never even heard this girl's name before, so I can't imagine she's that close with her.) If her good friends aren't going, I think I won't send her either. If they all are, then no, I'm not going to let her be the odd one out. I was just asking to see whether most people think that the way I'm thinking makes sense. Seems like there are a few people who think like me, a larger number who think I'm being extreme, and then a decent group of people who are somewhere in between, like they would be okay with toy makeup but uncomfortable with a makeover party. It's interesting to me.

amother

↑ Oleander

Sun, Jul 14 2024, 8:26 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Is this a recent thing, makeup at all mock weddings? Cuz when I was in camp 12-15 yrs ago, no one did that.

What is recent? My oldest is in her early 20s. Was definitely a thing in her mainstream Lakewood camps.....
Still is

I dont recall mock weddings when I was a girl

mommyhood

Sun, Jul 14 2024, 8:33 pm

I’m ok with most of what you said except the girls putting makeup on each other/makeover parties. It’s just theoretical because I’ve never actually heard of girls in my community having parties like that and dd has never asked or come home from a friend where they put makeup on each other but I’m not buying real makeup for that and they don’t have access to mine. If they want for Purim, school play etc before older high school age I put it on for them.

amother

↑ Bisque

Sun, Jul 14 2024, 8:34 pm

I don't think it's about being extreme. I'm one of the people who doesn't like makeup on young girls, and I'm not extreme about tznius at all. I don't wear socks or tights, and don't make my daughters wear them outside school. I let my daughters wear every color of nail polish there is. And I will be happy to let my daughters wear makeup in public when they're older, like in 7th or 8th grade.

I just don't like little girls wearing makeup that mimics adult style. Carnival facepaint no problem, like a butterfly mask or something. But done eyes, darkened lips, blush, eye shadow, no.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Jul 14 2024, 9:07 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

We only have plastic ones, nothing actually in it like plastic food. The kids makeup is often filled with a lot of toxic and harmful ingredients.

I have that too but that’s not what op is describing. There are tinted chap sticks that are non toxic but thankfully I haven’t found it necessary.

I would be very unhappy if my kid came home slathered in makeup. I wouldn’t say anything though, I don’t think it’s something worth making a fuss over. For reference we are yeshivish and makeup isn’t a thing but face paint is, for before Purim and in the summer.

amother

Blueberry

Sun, Jul 14 2024, 10:06 pm

lol my five year old always begs me for a little makeup when I put on my shabbos makeup. She wants to be like her mommy. I give her my eyeshadow and blush brush when I’m done with it and dot a drop of lipstick on her. She loves it it’s not that deep. Also I heard this awhile ago and loved it- always say makeup is for looking fancy (not pretty) so it doesn’t get tied up in the idea that you need makeup to be pretty