Teacher keeps pushing us for Ritalin

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

1 2 3 4 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

jerusalem613 ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 2:07 pm

We have a gorgeous 10 year old, who at home can keep himself busy for hours, plays beautifully with his younger siblings, and is very outgoing and pleasant to have around.

For years the principal of the school and the yearly Rabbi's keep encouraging us to make him start taking ritalin as apparently he does not behave well in school.

He talks during lessons, interrupts, does not focus during reading parts of the class and so forth.

We are so worried how ritalin could negatively effect his character.

What bothers the teachers in school is what makes him unique and special outside of school... Sad

what is your experience with ADD or ADHD children ?

We had him assessed and professor didnt find him to be add..

amother

Phlox

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 2:18 pm

So you need to get to the bottom of what is the issue in school. Is it boredom? Is it anxiety? Is it peer pressure? Is it a language challenge that he doesn’t understand what’s going on?
Your best bet is either a proper neuropsych or at least a board of Ed evaluation.

amother

Silver

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 2:21 pm

I'm an ADHD coach.
First of all, ritalin doesn't change a kids personality. If you get the medication and dosage right which can take time.
Second, you need a full neuro-psychological evaluation here.
Third, how he behaves at home isn't really the point. He's finding the school environment difficult - you need to work out why and what to do about it. Ritalin is a quick fix for teachers. It may not be what your kid needs.

amother

Poinsettia

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 2:57 pm

Extremely unprofessional and out of line for a teacher or even principal to suggest a drug. All they can do is refer you to the appropriate professional. Who will then make the appropriate recommendations.
That being said, have you considered switching your child to a different educational environment where he will be appreciated?

abound

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 3:01 pm

You need to get to the bottom of it. A child can develop low self esteem and a host of other issues when they dont do well in school for years.
There are parents who refuse and then their child is a young adult who does not know how to learn or follow through with things. They can end up so far behind their peers.
I dont know thats he needs meds but he definitely needs help if the school is reaching out.

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 3:14 pm

You can't get a prescription drug like Ritalin without a diagnosis so... if he was properly assessed and not diagnosed then too bad.

Also who did the evaluation ? What does professor mean? It should be a neuropsych.

CPenzias ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 3:46 pm

I'm a teacher and just want to say that it's illegal for the school to tell you to put your child on meds.
If you're concerned, take kid to the doc. School folks aren't clinicians

mummiedearest

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 3:48 pm

Switch schools if you can. He’s not in a good place there. A good school will work with him and you.

amother

Bluebell

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 4:27 pm

abound wrote:

Thank you for standing up.

amother

Firethorn ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 4:31 pm

jerusalem613 wrote:

what is your experience with ADD or ADHD children ?

We had him assessed and professor didnt find him to be add..

What kind of assessment did you have did you have a neuropsych evaluation? There should be lots of recommendations of what to do next if its not adhd

amother

Pansy

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 4:34 pm

I am very happily married to a brilliant successful talented man with ADHD. For all those here to piss on Ritalin it can be life saving (certainly marriage saving! ) having said that advise the school that the physician did not diagnose him with add in evaluation and that you are willing to work with them to develop a realistic behavior plan

mha3484 ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 4:38 pm

I have multiple kids with ADHD all affecting them very differently but your son sounds a lot like my 7.5 year old. He is the sweetest, kindest, nicest child. Well liked, creative, artistic and a total nut. Medicating him brought out his good qualities and mellowed out the more challenging ones. Best thing I did. He is just his best self.

amother

Valerian

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 4:43 pm

I feel like teachers nowadays have very low tolerance for children. Children have energy, they are young, and the teacher's job is not only to teach but to actually make them learn!
How is he at home?

miami85

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 4:46 pm

My son was a live-wire as a toddler, very active, but through Early Intervention he learned to sit and cooperate, so I didn't think he had ADHD. He has other developmental issues so it was hard to tease it out at first. He was the kid who could sit and read for hours. Loved playing with legos and watch videos on a TV-type screen and also on his tablet. The only "red flag" for a long time was that if you called his name he wouldn't respond right away. It was only when the kids went back to school after Covid and started getting homework again it was really hard for him to shift his mentality back to "homework" and he was fixated on the rules we'd established during Covid-school with regard to tablet limits. He was starting to get very angry and agitated when we told him it was time to stop. In school he never disrupted but he didn't like to transition from one subject to another if he wasn't done with his assignment.
I had never made the connection to ADHD but I work in the field and someone had just done a similar case so I was like "maybe"--he started on a low-dose ADHD medication and it was SUCH a game changer. It used to take him forever to get ready for school--I thought he was just not a morning person, but once the medication kicks in, he's ready in minutes. Yesterday he woke up late and had to daven at home, he was acting SO silly while davening. Then afterwards I found out he hadn't taken his medicine yet and after that he was so much calmer and focused. It's like he would get stuck and the medicine "oils his gears". There was one day that I forgot to give him is medicine and I had to take him to an appointment and I was taking him back to school and he said he wanted to go back to take it "otherwise I'm so clumsy"--he said it helped feel better about himself. He's not a zombie, he's not a very social kid in general, he's more shy by nature, but if he doesn't take it he is very silly and that gets him into trouble.

When its the right move, you ask yourself "why didn't we do it sooner"?

↑ mha3484 ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 4:48 pm

I think amother valarian is correct in girls schools. But my experience with boys is that the rebbeim have a much higher tolerance for the boys that are higher energy so when they are pointing out issues and giving specific examples of being impulsive its worth listening to.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 5:21 pm

A lot of kids with ADHD can be fine at home but struggle at school.

↑ CPenzias ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 5:39 pm

abound wrote:

You're right but on the flip side meds gave my child suicidal ideation and it was a very scary time for us. I'm a teacher and would never ever tell someone to put their child on meds. I might suggest an evaluation and let a doctor make that determination.

amother

Cognac

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 5:43 pm

jerusalem613 wrote:

what is your experience with ADD or ADHD children ?

We had him assessed and professor didnt find him to be add..

Nasty but true! Offer the teacher a bonus and watch them allow your child and even accept your child as is.

If there is nothing wrong with child and you’re being backed by a professional, you prescribe the teacher.

I know teachers and rebbeim are wonderful and delightful people and they fill a void and yada yada plus experience and hindsight and foresight. BUT they are not licensed and they are not Hashem and they don’t call the shots and get prescribed meds based on whims.

amother

Olive

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 5:45 pm

CPenzias wrote:

That’s why someone mentioned above that it can take time to figure out the right medication. A good psychiatrist should be seeing their patient at least once a week or so when they put them on a medication with suicide ideation as a possible side effect.

Once you find the right medication though, it is life changing. You have to be in it for the long haul.

amother

Rainbow ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 5:46 pm

Im so grateful I put my child on Ritalin.
My sister inlaws call my kids the calm kids and they are the most calm kids but in school was struggling, cant finish worksheets, cant manange to sit for the needed amount of time, way to distracted by the other kids legs kicking etc. (there struggles reminded me of what I went trough in school but I was the calm child of the family so there was no way I had ADHD)
After evaluations they were given ritalin to see if it makes a different, they are on a very low dose and they are doing so so well, much more confident coz they dont feel that the class is moving on without them, and they were left behind when they got distracted from the principals head peeking into the class. manage to finish all the shhets doing so well on tests and at home (when home with the pill still affective- mainly fridays) is so available, I dont have to call them 50 times and they are fustrated coz in their head they said yes first time... They have innattentive ADHD and if what the teachers were saying didnt remind myself of me in school I woud have just brushed it off.
Many people who dont know much about ADHD will say whilst they can sit for hors doing x or Y so they cant have ADHD. Someone with ADHD has the ability to hyperfocus if something catches their mind that interests them they can stick to that one thing for hours. Having ADHD doesnt mean constantly being hyper.

Page 1 of 4

1 2 3 4 Next