How much is an average wedding?

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 11:22 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

So to me, honestly, this is the last thing I would want to save up for. If I was saving, it would be for a down payment. Or help them out after they were married. Or pay full tuition or something. I think men darf zeina meshige to scrimp and save all your life to blow 50 - 100k on one night. It's just not something I would be interested in doing.

My point was that we didn't have to go borrow money, go into debt, or use all the amazing organizations they have to help. To me, weddings dont come as a surpise. We are hoping our kids get married. Yet somehow everyone is borrowing money going into debt and panicking about the wedding, but not about the down payment for your kids future house. The idea is to save when the kids are young, and then even if you have 50k in the account, you can spend it on whatever you choose is most important - save it for a down payment and use other money for the wedding, spend 20k for the wedding and rest for down payment...the idea is to save when kids are young so you have money when they are in shidduchim.

amother

Taupe

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 11:29 pm

amother Pink wrote:

How do you save when the kids are young? First, the dh is learning for some time. Then he starts looking for a job only to realize that he has limited skills and needs to start from the bottom. By the time the dust settles, the kids are no longer that young and you're already dealing with tuition, camp and bar mitzvah expenses.

Factor in inflation now and rising tuition, this couple is lucky to make ends meet!

amother

↑ Saddlebrown ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 11:37 pm

amother Pink wrote:

Again. My point is that when people are just making ends meet (which is an awful lot of us) we'd rather not scrimp and save just so that I can afford a "basic" wedding of 100k.

Bh we were able to make two weddings so far - spending under 30k each - even though we hadn't saved up hundreds of thousands of dollars.

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 11:44 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

My answer was in response to the poster who said weddings are the last thing to save for - she would save for a down payment ( and tuition? ) and helping the couple after their married.
If you can't save, that's a different story. And I say this sincerely that everyone on this site should have bracha and mazel in parnassah.

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 11:49 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

I'm sorry if my post came across as mean or something. But when I talk about saving, I meant it as obviously only if you have what to save. In my head, if I save. It's for a wedding, not my kids down-payment. Now of course I hope to have enough money by then to help them with the down-payment as well. But first and foremost it's the wedding - and, also, whatever amount it Is when the time comes, you don't have to use your whole savings just for the wedding

amother

Sage

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 12:02 am

amother Diamond wrote:

I think the person who quoted you this has very inflated definition of what is very basic.

I just looked at prices for a wedding hall in my city. All inclusive packages (hall, videographer, photographer, hall, caterer, fees, benchers). Starts at 14,900 and the highest package is 32,100.

Please tell me how 75,000 is basic.

It’s not just the wedding event expenses. It’s every thing leading up to that as well; some people If you include the entire family’s new wardrobe from the baby’s socks to the fathers cufflinks and maybe the mothers new wig (again this is not basic but many will call it a wedding expense)
Then it can definitely add up quickly!

amother

↑ Hyacinth

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 1:09 am

To those that asked how to save.
Pick an amount you can afford to save monthly. Divide between kids.
We went through an adviser.
We put money into very safe investments every month.
The benefit of doing monthly is that you ride the market. You buy when high and when low so the good and bad times even themselves also.
We use direct deposit so it just happens.
Not all my kids investments have done as well as others. But iy’H I’ll have an amount for each one that will make it easier to make weddings. And maybe some extra to give them.

As I’ve had more kids I’ve reduced the amount I’ve put into older kids account so I’ll have enough to start the younger kids account.

We aren’t fancy so I’m guessing our wedding expenses for kids will be on low end. But even 20k lump sum at one time is hard to think about. I’d rather have it ready. And if there is extra I’d love to either support or contribute to a down payment.

↑ imaima

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 1:49 am

amother Birch wrote:

As lots have posted - its going to cost you 120 if your the type who bought your teen a Lola skirt for 160 this summer.
For the rest of us, we're good to budget well under 50k.
Yes, in Brooklyn.
(I had a siblings wedding this year so I'm talking current numbers)

Lol
If I pay my teen for babysitting and she buys her own stuff, sometimes for 160, how much will her wedding be cost? Very Happy

amother

Honey

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 1:51 am

amother Pink wrote:

Real life story - a friend married off a child and then lo and behold another sibling got engaged shortly after. So they were having 2 weddings within a year. They shocked and in debt.
When the kids are 2-3 y. apart, thete are always several of them in the parsha and you never know when something works out simultaneously.

amother

↑ Diamond ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 7:02 am

amother Pink wrote:

It's not a surprise, but that doesn't make the money appear out of thin air. People do have other life expenses, you know. People are trying just to scrape by, and to save for buying a house, retirement perhaps. And then there's bar mitzvahs to save for. People have to pay tuition. Some people are struggling to make ends meet. I don't see how everyone will manage to have 50k per child in a savings account just because they know about the expense early on.

amother

↑ Papaya

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 7:09 am

ChalieB wrote:

Not from the US, I think average budget for 250-300 people in young Anglo DL circles is 70,000-100,000 shekels.

We spent 75,000 for 250 people in a hall outside Jerusalem, including clothes for family and sheva brachot.

My friend (who made Aliya) just made a US wedding and said it’s crazy how this budget conscious wedding cost her in American dollars exactly what her beautiful Israeli weddings cost her in shekalim.

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 8:14 am

amother Honey wrote:

B"h, twice, my parents made 2 weddings a few months apart in 1 year. -( last year, and few years before then) If you have what to save, save it.
I keep saying, and I say this in a nice way,
I know it doesn't work for everyone. But however much you do save since they were kids, will help.

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 8:16 am

amother Diamond wrote:

For all of you who are saying its hard to save, my original post about saving for a wedding was in repsonse to a post who said she'll save for a downpayment and after kids are married. I hope to have money for both, but for me, wedding expenses come first. So my savings account is for that, and then I can use however much I want from it toward the actual wedding. I'm not trying to "convince" people to save when they can't, the discussion was about what to save for.
I'm only talking when there is money to save.

amother

Aster

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 8:37 am

Same…my priority with savings is getting them through the wedding. And all that leads to it, like yeshiva/seminary. I’m not even thinking about a down payment or anything like that; if we have the money for that as well when the time comes great otherwise wedding is the big expense to save up for. We do a small amount direct deposit per kid into one investment account. IyH we’ll be able to continue per kid. And we are in kollel and are tight but think of that expense as necessary as our regular bills. It’s not a lot, but we hopefully 20 years of growth will help…

amother

↑ Saddlebrown

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 8:52 am

amother Pink wrote:

I think that your parents did a very smart thing. However, I would like to point out that just because someone DOESN'T save from when their children were born doesn't make them irresponsible. Not everyone has the money to do so.

My father was in kollel when I was little and did not start doing well financially until I was at least in high school. Bh he made nice weddings for all his children and he paid cash. And they weren't cheap weddings either. (Although he hadn't saved up any money before).

When my children started reaching marriageable age I literally had nightmares as to how we were going to make weddings. I couldn't sleep at night. I was so so worried. (We were never in the financial position to save). Bh Hashem helped us but my point is that even though it's not a surprise, not everyone has the extra money. And looking back, I think that even if I did I would rather make a cheaper wedding and save the money for other things. I guess there are people who have the money for both...

amother

Impatiens ↓

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 1:58 pm

Chosson's side, we spent under $40,000.

Takana hall where each side pays $8000. Yes, the menu was very basic but the photographer was good (no videographer; the other side doesn't hold from it), the flowers were nice (I think; I actually don't remember what they looked like, but the kallah's flowers were nice), the one man band and singer were included too, the badchan was $500 each side extra.

Jewelry was around $10,000, other gifts (flowers, machzorim, bday gift) were another $600-700. We made one SB for $2000. Chosson's wardrobe was about $7500 - including his shtreimels, bekeshes, and all clothing from the skin out. DH got a new shtreimel for $2500; I got a new sheitel for under $3000 (I live way OOT where sheitels just cost more; it wasn't a particularly high end sheitel.)

I bought a dress in Israel for around $350, plus $50 alterations. Aufruf and SB dresses were another $300. Makeup was $60. I only have boys, so no gown rentals, hair or makeup for my daughters - that saved a good few hundred, I see.

Aufruf - I made almost everything myself. We did spring for some things I am not capable of making, plus drinks - the whole thing cost under $800.

We sent out about 100 paper invitations. The local ones were hand delivered, postage for the rest was around $100.

And there you have it. A wedding for under $40,000, out of town!