How much is an average wedding?

amother

↑ Topaz ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 4:54 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

The people that don’t come to wedding will most likely send a check in the return card. My daughter made 4K from checks from people who did not come.

So Invitations are a good investment.

But you can't compare to not sending invitations and who would give anyway.

I'm guessing to our BM I will probably do 90% email/whatsapp and then mail 10%. People make such beautiful invitations nowadays. I'm guessing because they don't have to print them Smile

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 4:55 pm

amother Yarrow wrote:

Where is there a takana hall in Monsey?

YSV, Ateres Chaya Sara, I think charna offers a package. vilchovitz I heard is only for vizhnitz now. before the renovation atrium offered, not sure if they still do.

amother

↑ Topaz

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 4:57 pm

amother Pink wrote:

While it does look nice, the amount of running around I've heard people had to do and "settle" for.
And this is for pink, light blue, the perfect shade of champagne, green, off white...
I feel like I keep hearing its more of a hassle than it's actually worth

We have some flexibility. We did light blue. We didn't all wear the same shade at all. But it still looked really good. My same gown worked for the champaign wedding and the pink wedding. It might make it easier for me in some ways because then I'm just looking at one color. And the pics still look way better than my ILs that has everything from black to champaign.

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 5:16 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

So while you're flexible about it, some brides are not, so yes, some shades of off white/light champagne will blend with most colors. But yes, that would obviously be ideal lol
A color pallete of pastels or in winter - black with/without some color applique.

There is flexibility, but in terms of wedding expenses, I think this would cut down pressure

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 5:18 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

My ILs couldn't be bothered and I can't say I'm impressed with their pictures... I do get to have fun at their weddings because I can literally wear whatever color I want.

A big reason I picked navy is because I knew that was what my MIL was going to wear... regardless of the color. So I based it around her Smile

I'm sure if I stressed that the color was important to me, she would've figured something out. She's a great MIL.

But she married off 2 kids in a row and we were the second and she wanted to rewear her gown.

And while navy is not my favorite color, it looked good on all of us. It's dark and flattering without being harsh like black can be.

You're so nice and mature about it Smile

I wonder if I would have done that...

amother

↑ Camellia

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 5:19 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

That sounds hard. I do think I have seen some on ASOS but haven't looked in awhile. Plus it's a hard type of thing to buy when you can't try it on.

What I can't understand is people who are very skinny spending so much money on their dresses. (If they have the money great... but if not...) If I had to make a gown budget and one of my children had a figure that was harder to fit, I think I would allocate more money to her.

I'm just talking out loud though. My oldest is 12.

I literally had to have a custom gown made because I went to at least 5 gemachs and in total only 5 gowns fit me, and they all looked hideous and at least 20 years old.

It ended up not being so insanely expensive due to the fact it was a new seamstress who was starting her own line by importing gowns from France to make tzniyus, and the one that almost fit me wasn't made into a tzniyus gown yet, so she just made it for my size.

She didn't have a name or anything yet so it really was hashgacha I found her.

amother

NeonGreen

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 5:37 pm

We made bh a few weddings. I'm in lakewood. Boy's side.
Bracelet $1600
Ring $2900
Lichters $1200
Yichud room present under $1000
Hall ($21000 split 1/3 and 2/3) $7500
Makeup for 3 faces $150( young teens we'll do at home)
Gowns $800 (for 5 people, one biught which I hope to sell, 4 from gemach) that includes many trips to gemach to actually find the gowns!!
Aufruf shabbos about $1000 ( gemach, gemach...)
Men's clothing(a few boys, clothing for chosson) $1000
Plus all miscellaneous expenses (stamps), under $20000
This is the bare minimum. I dint think I coukd spend less.
Kalla's side cost definitely more!

amother

↑ Saddlebrown ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 5:55 pm

amother Camellia wrote:

Can we talk about finding plus size gowns? I'm a nonjewish XL but in frum companies I range to a 3XL. There's no plus size gowns, for brides and for other family members to rent. It's so hard to find and really expensive.

Yes there is!! I'm a little bit bigger than you and I found a huge selection of resale plus size gowns in Lakewood. I didn't try Augenbrauns but I heard they have a large selection of plus size gowns as well. And I've even found in gemachs (sometimes, not always).

amother

↑ Saddlebrown ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 5:58 pm

amother Pink wrote:

B"h my father had the foresight to open investment accounts when we were born ( yes, literally babies) it's easier to save when it's small sums over time. I had close to 50k.
That didn't cover everything, as I did want some upgrades ( I was almost 30 and was waiting a looong time for this) but also, my parents b"h are comfortable now( a few years ago totally not) so they were able to spend the other money from other investments accounts they had. I would not have asked for upgrades, or I would have used my own money of I knew my parents couldn't afford it.

Iy"h I plan on opening accounts when I have kids.

So to me, honestly, this is the last thing I would want to save up for. If I was saving, it would be for a down payment. Or help them out after they were married. Or pay full tuition or something. I think men darf zeina meshige to scrimp and save all your life to blow 50 - 100k on one night. It's just not something I would be interested in doing.

amother

↑ Tanzanite ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 6:02 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

Our savings and investments is only after we pay full tuition
BH we have a home

If our investments do well we’d love to contribute towards our children’s homes beezras Hashem

If you can’t, you can’t I just want to point out it’s not one or the other.

amother

↑ Saddlebrown ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 6:21 pm

amother Tanzanite wrote:

Boruch Hashem you are able to do both. But a lot of people can't and this is who I'm referring to. If you have a hard time affording day to day living expenses and don't pay full tuition, it doesn't make sense - to me - to scrimp and save to put money away for a gala one night event. Which so many posters are describing as "basic basic".

And I meant a down payment for my children's homes.

amother

Acacia

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 7:03 pm

These numbers are ridiculous

BH my parents can more than afford the 70k dollar wedding they gave me 13 years ago. They are very comfortable BH

BUT

My mother and sister rented from gmach because why not? The stuff is beautiful. And they were NOT the same color because that’s shtuyot.

I got 1 Shaitel. And yes I wore it 365 days a year until I bought a new one a year later. A kallah does NOT Need 3 Shaitel’s!!

You don’t need a wedding organizer or dresser or whatever they call it. The fact that this and so many other things (special bridal sweatshirts, for example) are universally done is ridiculous.

My wedding was stunning BH. By making a few cuts we saved a lot of money. ‘Basics’ are far from basic

amother

Birch ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 7:05 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

Yes, I think this is accurate except for a very bare bones event or a very small guest list. Flowers/decor, photo, and music are at least $10k each unless you are doing candles on the table,fabric only chuppah, one man band, and one shooter low end photographer. Venue costs are 7-15K and up. Food at the absolute lowest end is $75pp and goes way up from there. Gowns at a low end Gemach are $500 for bride and a few hundred each for others (of course, you could borrow.) Hair and makeup adds several hundred to thousand (or you could do your own or ask a friend.) Honestly, I’m all for a backyard bbq for 50 of closest family and friends in a borrowed gown, but that is unpopular . However, I have made a number of lovely but costly simchas and these numbers reflect my experience.

There's a big difference between a backyard BBQ and a wedding where the flowers photographer and music are at least 10k each.

I got married in regular hall, yes there were fake flowers a one man band etc, and a fabric only chutzpah (gasp haven't heard that one before lol) I did have a good photographer. It was a takana wedding.

I am sure my wedding night was under 20k.
Add in gown hair and makeup under 5k.

So 25k for wedding night.

amother

Hyacinth ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 7:19 pm

Elfrida wrote:

And less in other places.

Maybe someone who's made a wedding recently can give a breakdown of expenses.

Outside of eretz yisroel.
Many ppl I’m America and Canada come to lkwd just to make weddings.
Oot weddings can be expensive bec the caterers and halls are t setup to do it every night.

Bais faiga is still the cheapest in lkwd. 6 years ago a wedding was $11k including pictures, fake flowers, music. They split it between kallah and chosson. But not 50%.
I know it’s gone up but I can’t believe it’s doubled.

amother

Crystal

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 7:42 pm

YSV in Monsey has a very nice takana hall with two different options. We were very pleased with everything. No one needs an expensive wall of flowers behind the kallah or to spend 10k for an orchestra. It's one night. It's over before you can blink and BH the important thing is you are making a Simcha!

amother

↑ Birch

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 8:19 pm

amother Candycane wrote:

From the day ur child gets engaged until the last night of sheva brachos you have to figure it’s going to cost you around 120. This is for basic non fancy Brooklyn wedding. And not a huge family think 6 kids type.

As lots have posted - its going to cost you 120 if your the type who bought your teen a Lola skirt for 160 this summer.
For the rest of us, we're good to budget well under 50k.
Yes, in Brooklyn.
(I had a siblings wedding this year so I'm talking current numbers)

amother

↑ Hyacinth ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 8:44 pm

amother Birch wrote:

Depends what you are including.
Wedding only.

Or vort, gifts, houseware, linen, furniture, gifts, clothing, sheitels, Shabbos sheva brachos, etc.

amother

Peach

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:30 pm

We have made 3 weddings for daughters. Not one cost us over $22,000. We used a Takana hall in Lakewood, got gemach gowns. Hired cheaper makeup artists, etc. I didn’t buy a new sheitel, I had mine done. It can be done. And that was the most expensive one.