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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Rappel
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 4:58 am
amother OP wrote: | I know she meant well and I definitely thanked her for it.
I'll probably keep it as a backup and buy my own
Do you think it was a social misstep on her part to buy a second hand item for someone else? |
No, that part is perfectly fine. She was kind, thoughtful, and economical.
Would I personally use the pack n play? I would wash it very well, and put it in the sun. I would replace the mattress, and then yes. This is outside the borders of personal preference, and well into the territory of family politics.
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joonabug
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 5:05 am
you can buy a new mattress but I hear u it is kinda gross
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amother
Watermelon
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 5:15 am
amother Chicory wrote: | Off topic,
Why wouldn’t you write “peed in it” rather than “pished” which sounds like a gross word? |
Different culture that's all.
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amother
DarkOrange
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 8:16 am
Your MIL did nothing wrong or "off". Reasonable minds could disagree about what items they'd be ok with second hand and what items they only feel comfortable with new. And I guess a pack n play falls into that debatable zone. But it is in no way weird, strange, socially off, or whatever you want to call it for a close family member (and yes, a MIL counts as a close family member even if you don't like her) to get something that they know their relative is in the market for, yes, even second hand. Two of my SILs live in my neighborhood, so we're in all the same giveaway groups. We absolutely claim stuff on each other's behalf when it comes up. Sometimes we might get it wrong or there's some other reason it doesn't work out, but we will still thank whoever got us the thing and move on. You don't have to use it if you really don't want to, she gave it to you, it's yours to do what you wish. But don't blame her or view her badly over this, that's not ok.
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watergirl
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 8:22 am
amother DarkOrange wrote: | Your MIL did nothing wrong or "off". Reasonable minds could disagree about what items they'd be ok with second hand and what items they only feel comfortable with new. And I guess a pack n play falls into that debatable zone. But it is in no way weird, strange, socially off, or whatever you want to call it for a close family member (and yes, a MIL counts as a close family member even if you don't like her) to get something that they know their relative is in the market for, yes, even second hand. Two of my SILs live in my neighborhood, so we're in all the same giveaway groups. We absolutely claim stuff on each other's behalf when it comes up. Sometimes we might get it wrong or there's some other reason it doesn't work out, but we will still thank whoever got us the thing and move on. You don't have to use it if you really don't want to, she gave it to you, it's yours to do what you wish. But don't blame her or view her badly over this, that's not ok. |
I agree. This may be gross to someone, but it's not off.
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amother
Junglegreen
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 9:58 am
amother Chicory wrote: | Off topic,
Why wouldn’t you write “peed in it” rather than “pished” which sounds like a gross word? |
um maybe it depends on where you are from. where I am from, peed is extremely extremely rude. Pished is the word of choice. just saying.
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amother
Mulberry
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 10:13 am
Agree about disinfect but buy new mattress.
In general mattresses should be replaced even from your own kids! Read up on theories about SIDS...
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