Is personal character flaw G-d’s will?

Petra ↓

Tue, Jul 09 2024, 9:14 am

Say something was supposed to take place (for example a very important meeting) but because of one’s failure to follow through, (procrastination, subconscious desire to avoid said activity) and steps were not taken to confirm meeting that had been loosely planned, is this personal failure or ultimately G-d’s will?

newmommy:)

Tue, Jul 09 2024, 9:57 pm

Of course Gd's will.

It all is.

Looking forward we need to take responsibility and try our best to do our best.

Looking back, it's always bashert. You missed the meeting, you did or didn't buy the house, you married that person, you chose to move there, you said something stupid and hurtful...

all bashert, all His will, all His plan.

you try to learn from it and move on

1346 ↓

Tue, Jul 09 2024, 10:04 pm

gosh of course its God's will!
he created you, your personality, and your situation.
the whole concept of bechira comes in here...

write4right ↓

Tue, Jul 09 2024, 10:21 pm

God's will works with and around our own free will. God works His plan to bring about the results He wants regardless of our actions.

That doesn't mean He always chooses to protect us from the consequences of our actions. As the Mesillas Yeshorim states in Shaar HaZerizus, when a person makes a bad choice, they are opening up themselves to experience the negative consequences of their choice.

pinkpeonies

Tue, Jul 09 2024, 10:24 pm

הכל בידי שמים חוץ מיראת שמים

Cheiny

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 12:28 am

1346 wrote:

gosh of course its God's will!
he created you, your personality, and your situation.
the whole concept of bechira comes in here...

To infer its G-d’s will alone, absolves the person of responsibility. The results are G-d’s Will but the person is still wrong and responsible for not taking steps to ensure the proper outcome.

We are given certain personality flaws because G-d wants and expects us to work on them and I prove in those areas.

Elfrida

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 12:48 am

Your character traits are the raw material you were given to work with. Your jobbis to do the best possible job you can, with the material you were given. Certain character traits might make certain things harder, but it's up to you how you deal with that.

↑ 1346

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 4:35 pm

You're 100 percent right Cheiny.
What I wrote is intended as a reflection on something that has already occurred. After one sees the results.

mom24b

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 5:31 pm

According to Rav Dessler if one is irresponsible goes to sleep late, doesn’t set an alarm and then wakes up late and misses their bus for an interview don’t blame Hashem and say it was Bashert. That was not because Hashem wanted them to miss the interview or lose an opportunity for that job rather the person was irresponsible and did it to themselves. However if one was responsible, went to sleep early, set an alarm was up on time and at the bus stop early , but the bus came late or broke down and you missed your interview then it is Hashems will that the person missed out. When one does everything that is normal hishtadlus for the necessary outcome and something out of one’s control occurs then it is Hashems will, but if someone was irresponsible, didn’t make the necessary hishtadlus for required outcome- don’t blame Hashem. It may not have been Hashems plan , perhaps the person would have gotten the job or house but lost it because they didn’t do the required Hishtadlus. In general Hashem runs HIS world according to the laws of nature, if you miss your interview you won’t get the job, if you didn’t put in an offer on a house and you knew others are, you will lose the opportunity to purchase the house…. These are basic principles of how Hashem created the world to run. Hashem doesn’t intervene in the laws of nature and perform a miracles unless the person has enough zechusim for Hashem to do so. Therefore if someone was meant to get a job or a house but was irresponsible and didn’t do the normal required steps for that to occur then it won’t , even if it was deemed for them.
If one does all necessary actions and they do not attain the outcome they wanted then it was Hashems will, but if one doesn’t do the necessary actions and is irresponsible don’t blame Hashem and say it was Beshert. It was the persons lack of hishtadlus not Hashems will.

↑ Petra

Fri, Aug 16 2024, 8:36 am

What can I say. A certain someone in my life really did not follow through and because of this, major implications to our DC. Of course most of you can guess who this certain someone is. I am trying to accept what’s done is done.

↑ write4right

Fri, Aug 16 2024, 9:10 am

Petra wrote:

You are also allowed to be upset.

Tamari

Fri, Aug 16 2024, 9:34 am

Petra wrote:

Ah, this puts a new spin on the question.
When you ask it for the sake of self reflecting on your own behavior, that's one thing.
As upsetting as this situation is, I don't think it's your place to reflect on the other person's behavior...
Not to condone his/her behavior at all, but the work on your behalf is how you deal with it.

leah233

Fri, Aug 16 2024, 9:59 am

The posuk in Mishlei (19:3) says 'אִוֶּ֣לֶת אָ֖דָם תְּסַלֵּ֣ף דַּרְכּ֑וֹ וְעַל־יְ֜ה
יִזְעַ֥ף לִבּֽוֹ A person's own treachery leads him astray, yet his heart rages against Hashem

Not every mistake people make is because Hashem wanted them to. If someone missed an important meeting for non emergency or sickness related reasons it isn't necessarily because Hashem wanted it. Very likely is their own fault.

This is true when judging yourself. When judging others as the Chofetz Chaim says the reason why the Torah requires us to support poor people who seem to lazy to work is because sometimes when a person has the mazal to be poor Hashem "pours lead into their blood"