No longer addicted to smartphone AMA

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 3:35 am

Might not respond right away ! Smile

benefit of not being addicted.

I used to be on the phone all the time. While feeding babies, after bedtime, at the park. Every spare moment.

Then one day it dawned on me that although I was feeling productive, I had this great malaise. I knew I had to change when my dd asked me why are you always on your phone? And then my ds said mommy I just want to be close to you when my attention was turned to something dumb.

Now I have a smartphone flip phone $60 on amazon (CAT). I removed internet from it. Still have navigation on it. It is filterable by some TAG offices.

When I need internet I just wait for my husband to come home. He is home limited hours because he learns and I would rather spend time with him than on my device. (It’s rude to be on your device around family—that’s the etiquette we established in our home but our kids are still small)

If I need to use phone I excuse myself, I just need to make a call. My kids don’t stare at their own photos. There are allowed to see photos on their birthdays to see how much they’ve grown. , it helps them not be self centered. My phones are locked with passcode.

This was a 10 year weaning process. I find I have free time now to do things I enjoy. All the time. Down side is am less social as a result positive side is . at the table when I’m feeding my baby he has my total attention and he grows from it as a result (increased verbalizatuon eye contact etc)

We have a great family bond. Eye contact is crucial. In my growth journey I used to switch between a smartphone and ordinary flip phone around family. All contacts were on both. I told my friends and coworkers the best way to reach me. Truth is I never minded leaving my phone in the car( that meant freedom) or on low battery. Then I had no choice and had to use it less than I wanted.

Our family culture is no screen time.
Limited phone use. (Otherwise your phone use restricted for a week)
And when we need to use a device we call the device a derogatory name. The garbage.

I use my husbands smartphone at night 1030 pm to check my emails etc. Otherwise early in morning before kids are up. When kids walk in room I try my hardest to flip the screen face down on the table and make eye contact and a big smile.

My greatest motivation was being a good mother and eved Hashem since I found I never had time to think about Hashem or work on a relationship in those in between carpool or do nothing moments. I feel a real relationship now because I work on my Avodah daily. Love is something built over time with a lot of investment.

Disclaimer I don’t need my phone for my work. But even if I did I would leave my work phone in the car. And use my sim card in an ordinary flip phone at home.

amother

Dahlia

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 3:45 am

I'm jealous!

amother

Bisque

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 4:03 am

amother Dahlia wrote:

I'm jealous!

That makes two of us

amother

Oxfordblue

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 4:10 am

I wish that could be me but I am genuinely bored and I dont know what else to do, any advice what to replace it with?

amother

Sage ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 5:01 am

Wow, I didn't know you could just flip a Sim card back and forth like that. What a genius idea.

Still scary for me because I genuinely hate my life. My husband has physical and mental health conditions so can't be there for me much, I'm bored at work, it's so hard not having enough money, I have always had a hard time making friends and I feel really lonely and isolated in Lakewood, I despise the pressures here, and I love to research and read about different topics, especially old books on Internet Archive. That is my outlet.

amother

Cognac

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 5:01 am

Kol hakavod for taking this step! It requires tremendous inner strength!
Not sure I would be capable. My kids are much older and we rely on it so much, every time I decide to put it away, someone "needs" it to check this or that!

amother

Stone

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 5:09 am

So impressed!
I’m jealous too!!
So much positivity to switching phones. I wish I had the strength.

I deleted Instagram from my phone 2 weeks ago.
Even though I did gain some recipes and hacks, I found I was wasting soooooo much time on there.
And at times I said why am I listening to someone tell me about their day or opinions - who really cares!!

Bh it’s going well - even though I still sometimes ‘crave’ it.
Bli ayin hara still holding strong.

amother

Pewter

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 5:20 am

What’s the benefit of a flip phone? Why did you choose that over keeping your smartphone, contacts, etc and just wiping off all apps/browser/email etc?

amother

Calendula

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 5:46 am

Wow op, amazing. I hope I can do this one day. I'm beyond addicted:( can't stop

amother

Dandelion

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 6:17 am

amother Stone wrote:

I felt the same way about Instagram. Convinced myself it was helping me with my parenting or my organizing, but way too much time was wasted.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 7:55 pm

amother Oxfordblue wrote:

I wish that could be me but I am genuinely bored and I dont know what else to do, any advice what to replace it with?

Depends what kind of person you are
If you are social then replace with face to face conversation.
If you are intellectual replace it with books and reading material that you prepare in a handy spot ready for you for moments when you anticipate boredom. Or a book club!
If you are eclectic (my vocab has gone down the drain forgotten what that means lol) find magazines that deal with your interests/hobbies
If you are spiritual then live shiuriim or meditation or tehillim. Our grandmothers always had a tehillim in their hands.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 7:58 pm

amother Calendula wrote:

Wow op, amazing. I hope I can do this one day. I'm beyond addicted:( can't stop

You could if you want to. Just need to take baby steps. Stop the app that’s sucking the most time. Put restrictions that make it harder to access content. My “smart” flip phone with a touch screen is such a nuisance to use that I would just rather not use it unless I really need to.
And then there’s finding what need you’re trying to fill by constantly being on it and meeting that need in a different way. For deeper friendships meet friends in person. For intellectual stimulation there are sososososo many possibilities!!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 8:00 pm

I also like speed dialing
And that it has all my contacts just an ordinary smartphone.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 8:04 pm

amother Sage wrote:

Real books are a great escape too!

amother

Feverfew

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 8:09 pm

Very impressed.
I waste so much time when I’m home but when I’m out with the kids I usually don’t use my phone at all. As a result my kids never want to go home and always cry when I say time to go home. I know what the problem is now I need to fix it. Hopefully this will give me the courage. I have been wanting to stop for a long while. I put restrictions but it’s not enough.

smushymushy

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 8:13 pm

Wow
So do u not use WhatsApp at all?
And can u send the link to the phone?
And what do u do for a camera? Do u just not take pictures?

amother

Azure

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 8:29 pm

Wow good for you. This gives me chizzuk.
I’m working on it.
Have no browser, no social media. No App Store. No games.
But I need the camera and email for work.
Every time I try to shut my phone or leave it in the car I miss that call from the dr or whoever I have been waiting for weeks. Wonder if there is a way to put the phone on do not disturb and just leave incoming phone calls.

amother

Papayawhip

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 8:42 pm

I’m so so jealous

amother

Hyacinth

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 8:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

Might not respond right away ! Smile

Did you have to change your number? Anytime I tried to do something like this, it involved so much headache. Also, I would want spotify on my phone for music in car and home. Does tag allow that?

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 8:54 pm

amother Sage wrote:

Same here. I know it's an addiction but it's the healthiest addiction I could find right now.

I do try to make a point of leaving my phone in the other room for a few minutes a day and focus on the people in my life. Even if it's just 5 or 10 minutes once or twice a day it adds up.