Do you send kids to sleepaway camp if they don’t want to go

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:09 am

I sent my son going into 8th who really needed to experience time away from home in preparation for Yeshiva and help him ignite a level of maturity.
He didn't really have interest in going but told his grandmother even before he went that he knows I know better than him what's good for him. BH it was a great experience for him and I only sent him away the following summer again and after that I respected his desire to not go to camp.

amother

Offwhite

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:14 am

Yep. Sending ds and he would much rather stay home. There no day camp anymore and he absolutely cannot stay and work it’s so bad for the boys to have so much free time and no structure and no intense learning and I kno he’ll go down the drain. Once he’s there he usually enjoys it.

Chayalle

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:17 am

My parents generation most kids went to camp from a young age. My mother AH went from the age of 5. Her parents were immigrants who worked long hard hours, didn't have parents or extended family to help out, the city wasn't a good place for a kid, etc....so to camp she went, whether she liked it or not (she really wanted to stay home some summers.)
Our generation BH has the luxury in most situations to keep a kid home, so camp is optional. I send them when they want to go, and stop when they have had enough. (I find my girls go 3-4 years, and max out.)

I do have a sibling who has a SN child who is very Mommy attached and doesn't want to go to camp, but he's fine there, and she desperately needs the break, plus there's no suitable program for him where she lives. She sends him (with much bribing, etc...he milks it all the way.) I think there are situations where the parents also matter.

amother

Stoneblue

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:23 am

It depends on why they don't want to go. I hated sleep away. No adults around-16 is not an adult even if they are counselors- and I was awkward socially. Most of the children who don't want to go don't belong there. Now if they will have support there, maybe it will be beneficial. That's a big maybe. Find a program locally that will work on social skills.

amother

Copper

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:25 am

Yes. I send my boys around bar mitzva and on even if they hate it. They know staying home is not an option because there in 0 to do at home. They'd be in their beds all day on their phones. Their friends are there, some of their teachers, they meet new friends and role models, gain new experiences and more independence, and keep up with davening and learning in a proper setting. They come home after 7-8 weeks and although I miss them terribly, I'm always in awe of how much they've grown and matured.

One of my sons who truly hated it more than the others is staff this year and is so excited for camp I can't believe he's the same boy.

theoneandonly

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:39 am

amother OP wrote:

Why would it ruin someone’s shidduchim if they don’t go to sleep away camp?

Why is this the comment you're jumping on? No, it won't ruin shidduchim if the kid didn't go to camp omg. If a kid doesn't want to go, don't force her, she'll be miserable.

ShishKabob

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 9:06 am

amother Catmint wrote:

It's not always a bad idea to push. It depends on the circumstances.

I pushed one of my kids to go to camp.

He has HFA, and struggles socially. We tried a very short program first, then, after a couple of years, his rebbeim encouraged something longer.

He gained so much from the experience. He's much more comfortable with himself and his peers, and willing to spread his wings.

This year, BH, he himself requested a full summer.

This, sometimes you do a favor for the child and it really helps them grow. You ask them at the end if they are happy that you sent them and they will tell you YES!