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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
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 Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:28 pm
Hi,
I am curious if there are any Modern Orthodox day schools that are particular to only take serious parents - the type who believe the hashkafa of Torah Umadda, and not those who just are modern because it's easier.
I know there are schools that teach the hashkafa seriously but are there any that make demands of the parent body?
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:35 pm
how do you ‘demand’ adherence to a belief system?
also, this question, whether you intended or not, is pretty offensive.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:42 pm
Speaking from the perspective of someone who is RWMO and married into a yeshivish family - so I have a sense of some of the similarities and differences...
An inherent part of the RWMO derech is more individual say in decision making. So it's less likely that a school will impose rules of tznius, technology use, etc on parents. This isn't because the hanhala is indifferent to whether these principles are consistent between school and home.
I do think that there are RWMO schools where the parent body is more shtark than at an average day school and that is reflected in the kids' actions.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:43 pm
| amother Candycane wrote: | how do you ‘demand’ adherence to a belief system?
also, this question, whether you intended or not, is pretty offensive. |
Not at all. I'm trying to find a school that would be a good match hashkafically but doesn't have some of the issues found in the Modern Orthodox community.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:44 pm
Part of the Modern Orthodox approach is usually to be welcoming to less observant Jews. If someone is nominally affiliated and not so serious about halacha, but is willing to send to a Jewish school and have their child learn from Jewish teachers, then the vast majority of MO people I've met are thrilled to see that person's children in their school.
Adding: While this approach is more common for MO, there are also many wonderful yeshivish parents in OOT communities who are happy and welcoming when less observant families switch into the community day school.
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sequoia
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:49 pm
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No, MO schools do not have rules for parents like “no internet”.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:50 pm
MO schools tend to not have outside school rules the same way as the yeshivish world does.
RYNJ is the best example of RWMO Bshitta school I can think of.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:51 pm
| sequoia wrote: | | No, MO schools do not have rules for parents like “no internet”. |
Just to clarify, I am not referring to rules for parents. I am referring to selecting for parents who are more committed vis avis not
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:51 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Not at all. I'm trying to find a school that would be a good match hashkafically but doesn't have some of the issues found in the Modern Orthodox community. |
like what issues are you referring to? also maybe post a location so we can give more targeted responses
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:55 pm
They're not generally interested in what goes on outside of school unless it's something very serious like a bullying situation or drug use or something. It's not a free for all though. When a school accepts a family that's not so observant, it's on the understanding that the family wants to be there and there is some set of values that's important enough to them that they're making the choice to give their kids a religious education as opposed to just sending them to public school. They're not interested in a family that's going to call them every time their kid is taught something that offends their sensibilities.
The other thing is that, ironically, many MO schools are wary of taking kids from more RW backgrounds. There's often a perception that such a child is either a "problem" being dumped on them or that the student thinks MO = zero rules and they're running away from what they feel is too restrictive in order to do whatever they want.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:56 pm
| amother Candycane wrote: | | like what issues are you referring to? also maybe post a location so we can give more targeted responses |
Parents not taking Torah/halacha seriously.
This is unfortunately common.
NJ area. Would move for a good school tbh.
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amother
Jade
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:57 pm
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Maybe some schools I'm the 5 towns are that way. I think op wants modern but one that is also no woke and liberal.....
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joonabug
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:58 pm
YBH in passaic isnt technically MO I think but its also not like part of the yeshiva/ BY system.
heichal hatorah for boys hs
naaleh hs for girls hs
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:59 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Parents not taking Torah/halacha seriously.
This is unfortunately common.
NJ area. Would move for a good school tbh. |
But what do you mean by Torah/halacha?there are shivim panim l’Torah
Different rabbis and communities pasken differently. MO schools don’t typically demand uniformity.
What are your specific issues?
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amother
Gladiolus
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 5:59 pm
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amother
Chicory
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 6:00 pm
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 6:00 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Just to clarify, I am not referring to rules for parents. I am referring to selecting for parents who are more committed vis avis not |
In the MO world, filtering or selecting usually happens organically, and comes from the parents' end. Typically, people want to be around people like themselves.
People who live a very halachically chilled lifestyle are usually not chalishing to send their child to a RWMO school where there will be stricter in-school rules and a more RW curriculum. And the ones who, for some reason do choose to send more to the right, usually have a lot of respect for the school, even if they aren't living their home lives accordingly. Plus they are in the minority because, as already said, most people don't want to do that. And a minority usually doesn't drive the school culture.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 6:01 pm
Would not recommend SAR AT ALL based on what OP is looking for
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amother
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Sun, Jun 23 2024, 6:02 pm
| amother Offwhite wrote: | In the MO world, filtering or selecting usually happens organically, and comes from the parents' end. Typically, people want to be around people like themselves.
People who live a very halachically chilled lifestyle are usually not chalishing to send their child to a RWMO school where there will be stricter in-school rules and a more RW curriculum. And the ones who, for some reason do choose to send more to the right, usually have a lot of respect for the school, even if they aren't living their home lives accordingly. Plus they are in the minority because, as already said, most people don't want to do that. And a minority usually doesn't drive the school culture. |
What are some good RWMO schools.
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