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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
Oxfordblue
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:18 pm
amother DarkViolet wrote: | You dont get the first 3 by virtue of being in kollel just because. You need to be income eligible. If I work , earn 60k and have 3 kids between the ages of 6-10 and my husband is in bmg, yes he might make 2k a month in kollel checks but we wont be eligible for medicaid, wic, abd food stamps. We might get a small tuition break- we would have to pay 5k per kid .
We are firmly stuck in very poor middle class. |
BMG Kollel check is 1050 per month right now. Where do I get that extra $950?
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anonymous mom
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:28 pm
amother DarkViolet wrote: | You dont get the first 3 by virtue of being in kollel just because. You need to be income eligible. If I work , earn 60k and have 3 kids between the ages of 6-10 and my husband is in bmg, yes he might make 2k a month in kollel checks but we wont be eligible for medicaid, wic, abd food stamps. We might get a small tuition break- we would have to pay 5k per kid .
We are firmly stuck in very poor middle class. |
Due to the husband not working, $60,000 +$24,000= $84,000, you bet you are eligible for Medicaid and WIC. Vs a middle class family where both parents work and are not eligible for any programs.
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Chayalle
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:37 pm
anonymous mom wrote: | Due to the husband not working, $60,000 +$24,000= $84,000, you bet you are eligible for Medicaid and WIC. Vs a middle class family where both parents work and are not eligible for any programs. |
So are you also against SAHM's?
Just wondering. I grew up in a traditional type of home. My father worked, my mother rarely did.
(it happens to be my family is not into being on programs. I never was - not in my parents home, not in my own. I'm just questioning the POV that both parents must work. If a father was working, mother home, family on programs, you against that? Must mother go to work?)
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amother
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:39 pm
Chayalle wrote: | So are you also against SAHM's?
Just wondering. I grew up in a traditional type of home. My father worked, my mother rarely did.
(it happens to be my family is not into being on programs. I never was - not in my parents home, not in my own. I'm just questioning the POV that both parents must work. If a father was working, mother home, family on programs, you against that? Must mother go to work?) |
The difference in that the man usually works longer hours than the women. So with a sahm the man typically works a more intense job than in a kollel situation with the wife working. Obviously some ladies work longer hours but many also want to have time with their kids.
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amother
Springgreen
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:47 pm
amother OP wrote: | In Lakewood?
DH is learning really well in BMG. I would never dream of pushing him to go out to work. Should I ask him to look into these other kollelim with perks? Seems wrong. |
I'm a young kollel wife in a yeshiva kollel (not bmg) who is bh making it now but plans to do this for more than 2-3 years. There very well might come a time where the salary from yeshiva is not enough for us but we don't want to give up the kollel life, so we would have to go OOT. Cost of living is lower, kollelim pay more... sometimes it just makes sense if you want to make things work. It's tough but sometimes you have to make a cheshbon and that turns out to be your best bet at making it
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amother
Aquamarine
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 2:04 pm
I’m kollel how do I get a free Irene wig? Just kidding but I think some of this is exaggerated
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Ruchel
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 2:21 pm
If someone wants to fund kollel families, even middle class ones, they can. It's a thing.
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amother
DarkOrange
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 2:24 pm
Where can a kollel wife go to get this free Irene you mention?
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amother
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 2:37 pm
anonymous mom wrote: | Due to the husband not working, $60,000 +$24,000= $84,000, you bet you are eligible for Medicaid and WIC. Vs a middle class family where both parents work and are not eligible for any programs. |
I'm confused. NJ medicaid income limit for family of 5 is $50k annually. How would she be getting medicaid with $84K income?
I thought this is the definition of lower middle class?
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synthy
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 2:58 pm
anonymous mom wrote: | Due to the husband not working, $60,000 +$24,000= $84,000, you bet you are eligible for Medicaid and WIC. Vs a middle class family where both parents work and are not eligible for any programs. | I just checked the eligibility for WIC. If you earn 84k, you’re eligible for reduced meal prices (not sure what that covers) if you’re a family of 7.
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amother
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:04 pm
synthy wrote: | I just checked the eligibility for WIC. If you earn 84k, you’re eligible for reduced meal prices (not sure what that covers) if you’re a family of 7. |
She said she has 3 kids ages 6-10. Wic is for pregnant/nursing women and children under 5.
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amother
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:38 pm
amother OP wrote: | Smaller out of town kollel? Easily 80- 90% of todays kollel yungerleit learn in BMG and get none of the above, so I guess the other Imamother threads were generalizing. Oh well. |
I was going to respond with all seriousness but now I’m reading your responses and am realizing this was sarcasm.
The sarcasm on imamother makes me sick.
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amother
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:40 pm
amother Sapphire wrote: | OP, you seem very frustrated.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a kollel wife just like you who gets no freebies or discounts. When I read these threads I feel slightly envious and then move on. Kollel was never meant to be easy. It isn’t easy. It’s very hard. The fact that other people get things to make it easier for them is great for them. We choose kollel not looking at the ‘perks’. And we will leave kollel when we need to. And the extra financial challenges just increase our schar. |
The post was tongue in cheek after a bunch of threads making it seem like kollel families live in some Alice in wonderland world where they are living like royalty while being gifted high end wigs and clothes. Couldn’t be farther from the truth for the overwhelming majority of kollel families here in BMG.
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mlc
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:40 pm
amother OP wrote: | I am green with envy. All of these threads about kollel families getting free Irene wigs, high end clothing store vouchers, giveaways, and all sorts of goodies.
Our family, and all the kollel families I know are struggling. We don’t get any of these goodies, can’t afford to send out kids to sleepaway camp, are using hand me down coats for the younger kids, almost never go out to eat, are behinds on tuition while also trying to cover our past due utility bills, and really struggle. It’s worth the sacrifice, believe me. But is is very very difficult financially. We must be in the wrong town or the wrong kollel or something. I feel so left out.
So I’m begging you dear fellow Imamothers, please direct us to all of these resources, giveaways, and discounts I keep hearing about so my children can wear up to date clothes, I can upgrade my 5 year old sheitel, and we can finally live the good life that all the kollel families discussed on Imamother are living.
Thank you |
The bonuses are usually donations given to members of smaller kollels.
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amother
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:42 pm
amother OP wrote: | The post was tongue in cheek after a bunch of threads making it seem like kollel families live in some Alice in wonderland world where they are living like royalty while being gifted high end wigs and clothes. Couldn’t be farther from the truth for the overwhelming majority of kollel families here in BMG. |
The poster on that other thread did seem to specify that they were part of smaller groups and not BMG. And she had a point.
Everyone always makes things about themselves here …
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Chayalle
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 3:49 pm
synthy wrote: | I just checked the eligibility for WIC. If you earn 84k, you’re eligible for reduced meal prices (not sure what that covers) if you’re a family of 7. |
My bad I guess. Kollel wife with IF. Small family. Don't qualify for anything. I pay for my DD's school lunches, same as anyone else....
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synthy
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 4:12 pm
Whenever someone tells me: kollel families end up being better off than most, I so badly want to tell them:ok, so why don’t you do it to? Oh, your dh can’t learn for 7 hours a day plus tutor some boys in the evening? And you don’t want to work out of the house plus a side hustle? Too bad, you’ll just have to remain poor.
Instead I just smile.
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amother
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 5:13 pm
synthy wrote: | Whenever someone tells me: kollel families end up being better off than most, I so badly want to tell them:ok, so why don’t you do it to? Oh, your dh can’t learn for 7 hours a day plus tutor some boys in the evening? And you don’t want to work out of the house plus a side hustle? Too bad, you’ll just have to remain poor.
Instead I just smile. |
Many working people have similar schedules. Dh wakes up 5 am to learn, works all day, then learns till 11. I work full time out of the house and have a side hustle. No cleaning help, takeout, etc... paying full tuition costs a large bundle.
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synthy
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 5:30 pm
amother Indigo wrote: | Many working people have similar schedules. Dh wakes up 5 am to learn, works all day, then learns till 11. I work full time out of the house and have a side hustle. No cleaning help, takeout, etc... paying full tuition costs a large bundle. | But in the end, how do your finances compare to a kollel couple’s?
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amother
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Fri, Jun 21 2024, 5:31 pm
synthy wrote: | But in the end, how do your finances compare to a kollel couple’s? |
No clue I never compared.
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