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amother
OP  


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:44 am
I am green with envy. All of these threads about kollel families getting free Irene wigs, high end clothing store vouchers, giveaways, and all sorts of goodies.

Our family, and all the kollel families I know are struggling. We don’t get any of these goodies, can’t afford to send out kids to sleepaway camp, are using hand me down coats for the younger kids, almost never go out to eat, are behinds on tuition while also trying to cover our past due utility bills, and really struggle. It’s worth the sacrifice, believe me. But is is very very difficult financially. We must be in the wrong town or the wrong kollel or something. I feel so left out.

So I’m begging you dear fellow Imamothers, please direct us to all of these resources, giveaways, and discounts I keep hearing about so my children can wear up to date clothes, I can upgrade my 5 year old sheitel, and we can finally live the good life that all the kollel families discussed on Imamother are living.

Thank you
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amother
Caramel


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:45 am
Where do you live?
(And where do you hear about free Irene Shaitels?)
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Chayalle  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:46 am
Wink Following.
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amother
Thistle


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:50 am
Bmg does give a voucher for a *discount* for a cheap wig after some years.
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amother
Oleander


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:51 am
Haha same!
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  Chayalle  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:52 am
amother Thistle wrote:
Bmg does give a voucher for a *discount* for a cheap wig after some years.


I looked into it. I think I could do better at a wig sale, which is open to everyone.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:55 am
amother Caramel wrote:
Where do you live?
(And where do you hear about free Irene Shaitels?)

The other thread this is a spinoff of.
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anonymous mom  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 8:57 am
Medicaid
WIC
Food stamps
Tuition break
Monthly wage from BMG
(Support)
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amother
DarkViolet


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:08 am
anonymous mom wrote:
Medicaid
WIC
Food stamps
Tuition break
Monthly wage from BMG
(Support)


You dont get the first 3 by virtue of being in kollel just because. You need to be income eligible. If I work , earn 60k and have 3 kids between the ages of 6-10 and my husband is in bmg, yes he might make 2k a month in kollel checks but we wont be eligible for medicaid, wic, abd food stamps. We might get a small tuition break- we would have to pay 5k per kid .
We are firmly stuck in very poor middle class.
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amother
Nectarine


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:09 am
amother DarkViolet wrote:
You dont get the first 3 by virtue of being in kollel just because. You need to be income eligible. If I work , earn 60k and have 3 kids between the ages of 6-10 and my husband is in bmg, yes he might make 2k a month in kollel checks but we wont be eligible for medicaid, wic, abd food stamps. We might get a small tuition break- we would have to pay 5k per kid .
We are firmly stuck in very poor middle class.


Yes exactly if you are getting the checks from BMG you might not be eligible for CHS either depending on family size.
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:13 am
anonymous mom wrote:
Medicaid
WIC
Food stamps
Tuition break
Monthly wage from BMG
(Support)

I keep seeing letters in the Voice about families leaving kollel and losing WIC / Food Stamps etc.

Guess what, there's no question on the application about kollel. We are in kollel for 13 years and never got WIC or Food Stamps or CHS or HUD. We have bills just like everyone else.

I never got any Irene sheitels either! There are some DWD sales for kollel only, that's it, but some open to the public (FWIW, I don't like the differentiation, but nobody asked me)
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:14 am
anonymous mom wrote:
Medicaid
WIC
Food stamps
Tuition break
Monthly wage from BMG
(Support)

Medicaid
WIC
Food stamps
—————————-
Has zero to do with kollel. Uncle Sams social service programs are income based. For a kollel family size of 7 or 8 a decent office job means one is ineligible for most programs while still struggling tremendously financially. It’s no easy street.

Tuition break
———————-
My sons Mesivta doesn’t give a tuition break specifically to kollel. They give a number based on affordability. Seminary gave us the standard discount nothing special due to kollel. Elementary schools do about 1500 lower for kollel. Yay we are rich! Not.

Monthly wage from BMG.
—————————————
It was $320 a month until recently. Now it’s around $1000. Covers 1.5 childrens Mesivta tuition.

Support
————————————
We never got any. Those that do it’s rarely for so manny years- it usually ends long before the first kids start to go to school. Unless you marry wealthy. I know plenty of wealthy parents supporting their working / in school children for a number of years too.

What we kollel families reallly need are all these freebies and goody giveaways being touted on Imamother. So go ahead, please share.
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amother
Chestnut


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:19 am
I live out of town.

DWD sales for klei kodesh families aren't free but they are cheap. White shirts for boys, shabbos and sometimes weekday shoes for girls ($30), shabbos and weekday outfits for $20-30.

The twice a year food YT orders are not free, but I wouldn't be surprised if kollel has a coupon code discount.

There are stores that give discounts
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amother
Indigo  


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:39 am
Maybe look into a different kollel. My family members in kollel before yom yov get gift cards to Hatbox for men and junees for women, pair of shoes for kids and gift card to kids clothing stores, sometimes gift cards to jewelry stores, gift cards or giveaways for groceries. As kollel couples they get tuition discounts. Definitely ask around because each kollel has dif perks.
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synthy  




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:49 am
My husband’s kolkel pays around $500 a month plus bonuses for farhers. Before pesach and sukkos they partner with local stores to offer discounts. Sometimes it makes a huge difference, other times not. 50% off for a suit is amazing, even though it was only valid after pesach when the stores had low stock. 30% off kids clothing is still more expensive than Old Navy and Next.
There is a tuition discount, but I need to send to a different cheder that has longer hours because I work until later.
So the main help is erev pesach and sukkos.
BH my ft wage is higher than what a beginner yungerman’s salary would be, so we’re a bit more well off than a family with a sahm. We still need the coupons though - I don’t know how others do without it.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:54 am
amother Indigo wrote:
Maybe look into a different kollel. My family members in kollel before yom yov get gift cards to Hatbox for men and junees for women, pair of shoes for kids and gift card to kids clothing stores, sometimes gift cards to jewelry stores, gift cards or giveaways for groceries. As kollel couples they get tuition discounts. Definitely ask around because each kollel has dif perks.

Smaller out of town kollel? Easily 80- 90% of todays kollel yungerleit learn in BMG and get none of the above, so I guess the other Imamother threads were generalizing. Oh well.
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amother
  Indigo  


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:58 am
amother OP wrote:
Smaller out of town kollel? Easily 80- 90% of todays kollel yungerleit learn in BMG and get none of the above, so I guess the other Imamother threads were generalizing. Oh well.


This is a in town kollel. Not a small out of town place. But not bmg
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:01 am
amother Indigo wrote:
This is a in town kollel. Not a small out of town place. But not bmg

In Lakewood?
DH is learning really well in BMG. I would never dream of pushing him to go out to work. Should I ask him to look into these other kollelim with perks and risk the level of his learning?
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amother
  Indigo  


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:07 am
amother OP wrote:
In Lakewood?
DH is learning really well in BMG. I would never dream of pushing him to go out to work. Should I ask him to look into these other kollelim with perks? Seems wrong.


The one I am referring to not in Lakewood. But there are other smaller ones that offer different perks. I have family members in lkwd who switched out of bmg for dif perks/pay but that's a personal decision.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:16 am
OP, you seem very frustrated.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a kollel wife just like you who gets no freebies or discounts. When I read these threads I feel slightly envious and then move on. Kollel was never meant to be easy. It isn’t easy. It’s very hard. The fact that other people get things to make it easier for them is great for them. We choose kollel not looking at the ‘perks’. And we will leave kollel when we need to. And the extra financial challenges just increase our schar.
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