S/o why do ppl care if non Jews can pronounce the name

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Forum -> Pregnancy & Childbirth -> Baby Names

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amother

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:16 am

Why do people care if non Jews can easily pronounce a Jewish name?

Who cares if they can’t?

They pronounce my kids names funnily sometimes but we know they are talking about us so it’s not a problem

My non Jewish colleagues often mispronounce my name so I either correct them or let them call me by the easier name

I love my name (and often get compliments from non Jews on it)

And I gave my kids names after people we admired, im not going to avoid a name just because once in a while a non Jew can’t pronounce it

There are many many non Jews out there with names that are hard to pronounce Lehavdil

So I’m proud to choose any Jewish name I want to , if someone has a hard time pronouncing it they can learn, or they can gladly call my kids or me by an easier name! Ie Connie for chani

amother

Eggshell

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:33 am

My parents are non Jews. It would probably irritate me if it was a literal almost daily occurrence (we call my parents all the time--I'm very close with my dad). More because my mom just wouldn't put in the effort to learn it. That being said, I wouldn't absolutely refuse to consider a name they'd find difficult if I loved it. But I would need to balance that against knowing I would resent my mom for not even trying, and she definitely wouldn't try.

sushilover

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:42 am

I don't give names based on whether Americans can pronounce it, but I definitely prefer a legal name that is easily pronounced.
So if my kid is menachem mendel, for example, I'll have his legal name be mendel.

amother

Daisy

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:46 am

I have a hard-to-pronounce name (for non-Jews) and it gets annoying and cumbersome constantly correcting people. While I do think the onus is on the other person to learn how to say the name correctly, I can’t fault non-Jews for not being able to pronounce, for example, ch like Jews do. So, I go by an English name at work.

amother

Caramel

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 9:57 am

because people messing up your name multiple times a day is annoying. names are personal. if you’re the type of person to correct them it’s annoying. if you start to say, oh it doesn’t matter, well, yes it does! it’s your name. it should matter! I think people who say it doesn’t matter if people can pronounce your name don’t interface with non jews enough for it to matter. once a year at the dentist or doctor doesn’t matter. but if you go to college/grad school and/or work in a secular environment that means that your name is getting mispronounced all day every day. I gave my children secular names for legal documents but I also gave them hebrew names that are easy to pronounce so that no matter who they interface with they can proudly use their jewish name and not have to correct people’s pronunciation. my kids go to secular daycare and have secular EI/cpse providers and we are happy they can be called by their easy to pronounce names.

amother

Feverfew

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:01 am

I'm happy for you,OP, that mangling your name never bothered you. I can tell you that as a child growing up in a largely nonJewish environment, it was very hurtful to me. Not so much the physical inability to pronounce the name, though there was that, so much as the ugly ways they deliberately made fun of it, the "cutesy" variations that weren't so cute. And it wasn't just children but also adults. I hate my name so much (it also has not the greatest meaning in Hebrew/Yiddish depending on how it's pronounced) I considered putting a statement in my will forbidding my descendants from naming anyone after me and inflicting the misery on yet another generation.

We all have our hangups, and we're entitled to have them. That you have no issue with your unpronounceable name is a blessing for you, but kindly don't trivialize the pain of those who don't see things as sanguinely as you do.

One good thing about this painful history is that I am very careful to ask people with names that are unfamiliar to me--and on my job I meet countless such--to tell me slowly how they pronounce it, and to repeat it and ask if I'm saying it right. For all I know, someone whose name means "spring blossom" in their native tongue comes out as "dog feces" when mispronounced. Where I know I will be unable to pronounce the name correctly, I apologize in advance and do the best I can.

amother

Oleander

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:02 am

I have the name Chana. I went to public college and heard every version. Kana, Chana (ch pronounced like china), Hanna. I answered to all of them. What's the big deal. I had one professor who was foreign and could say it correctly which was nice but not necessary. I try to give my kids names not to unusual. My father refused to give us English names and I went the same route.

amother

Feverfew

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:06 am

amother Caramel wrote:

The bolded.
Also there is evidence that people with unusual (for the given setting) or hard-to-pronounce names are victims of subtle, often unconscious, discrimination. They are often seen as less intelligent and less cooperative.

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:44 am

Why make things more complicated than they need to be? Nobody is saying not to name the child whatever you want, but my husband has 3 names and his mother put Menachem on the birth certificate.
So annoying.

amother

Zinnia

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:50 am

It’s super weird to me. I hear all sorts of names from various countries that are hard to pronounce and they proudly use their names. My name starts with CH. so I spell it and life moves on and it’s really not a big deal.

amother

Orange

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:52 am

I don't get it either.

My daughters name is Bruchy and my neighbors don't mind at all.

They love her and they call her Brucky, I don't mind and they don't seem to mind either.

amother

Hunter

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 10:59 am

Its interesting.
People care about others mispronouncing their name.
It's not a Jew vs non-Jew thing.
I was reading an article about the upcoming Olympics and it was commenting how annoyed many athletes (especially the Asian ones) but in general all get annoyed when the western and American reporters and commenters don't bother even trying to learn how to pronounce their names, and how annoying it is to be announced as a very mangled version of their name.

giftedmom

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 11:23 am

It’s annoying and easily avoidable. I just put their most easy to pronounce name on the birth certificate.

amother

Fern

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 11:23 am

My name has a ches, as do 3 of my kids.

So people mispronounce it. I don't care. They are named after people.

zaq

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 12:10 pm

amother Orange wrote:

I don't get it either.

My daughters name is Bruchy and my neighbors don't mind at all.

They love her and they call her Brucky, I don't mind and they don't seem to mind either.

. None of that is relevant. How does BRUCHY feel about it? That's all that matters.

Comptroller

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 12:33 pm

I don't think it will be practical for the children if the average citizen of your country cannot pronounce their names.

Don't only think of yourself. Think of the children too.

amother

Feverfew

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:46 pm

Hunter, you're right that it's not a Jew vs. nonJew issue. There are nonJews who pronounce my name perfectly and Jews who don't. These tend to be on the secular American side, but not all of them are.

amother

Orange

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:48 pm

zaq wrote:

. None of that is relevant. How does BRUCHY feel about it? That's all that matters.

I hear.

I’m chassidish, so what do you want me to put on her birth certificate instead?

Whatever non Jewish name I put instead, it’s gonna be way more embarrassing for her.

amother

Whitewash

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:50 pm

I think I may have been the person from another thread you're responding to. Or maybe not but anyway, it's not just the fact that someone mispronounced my name. It's the fact that a teacher in college is calling attendance and everyone gets to just say "here" and move on, but for me, it's a whole shpiel. Either the teacher is asking how to pronounce it and fifty people are turning to look at me, or they're saying it in a horrible way unintentionally and now fifty people are looking at the person with the ugly-sounding name. Meanwhile, I'm just extremely shy and never wanted anyone looking at me in the first place. And this is with multiple teachers for multiple classes a semester. It's also not true that so many people have weird sounding names. Maybe weird to you, but not weird enough that nobody knows how to pronounce it, unless maybe you're a foreign exchange student. But most Asian kids in my classes used Western names, even if they also had cultural names.

It's one thing if your name is just different but easy to pronounce, like Yarden for example. That wouldn't create these issues where how to pronounce your name is now an entire conversation. Worst case, someone would pronounce it like garden with a Y instead of the G. Who cares. It's more when you're including letters that your country doesn't use. Just put a pronounceable name legally. It's not that hard, and there's almost always a similar enough name you can use.

amother

Blush

Fri, Jun 21 2024, 1:53 pm

I work with nonJews who mispronounce my name constantly and it drives my crazy. I've sounded it out for them but they still can't get it. (Doesn't have a CH sound but still an unfamiliar Hebrew word).

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