Please tell me this won’t scar my baby

↑ imaima ↓

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 4:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

Maybe I’m just still having hard time getting past the initial phone call but I still feel like I want to tell DH he needs to be more clear with me about how he’s feeling in these situations. Had he told me straight away when he realized he wasn’t feeling well, I could have ended my shopping trip sooner and rushed straight home so he could nap rather than me being ready to murder him for not babysitting well and making me feel awful for going outside for the first time in days.

But I guess the consensus is to just swallow it, chalk it up to one bad day and move on?

No
The consensus is to be honest with yourselves and one another.
You are both postpartum and it looks like your dh is very hands on.
That means that he also needs care and attention.
And this time he did the responsible thing by putting the baby down.
Many injuries happen when the baby rolls out of the parent’s arms or a parent rolls over on a baby. Or an exhausted parent lashes out on the infant.

Please it’s summer time. Don’t stay inside for days on end. Wheel the baby out in the street and let him sleep in a stroller , sunlight is vital for your mental health.

amother

↑ Azure

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 6:53 pm

He probably felt bad about bothering you when you had just gone out for the first time in a while. When it's calm you can let him know how much you love him and how you'd be much happier coming home early than having him try to help you when he's feeling so sick.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 7:07 pm

Hi! Just to update; DH appears to have pneumonia and is feeling utterly miserable. He has a high fever and terrified me last night because he was delirious. He is starting some rigorous antibiotics and hopefully will be in the mend soon. I’ve cooled off since yesterday and I think I will let this slide unless I feel the conversation needs to be brought up.
Bh, I’m extremely blessed that DH is an extremely good hands-on father which is part of why yesterday freaked me out. I should have realized it meant something was really wrong.

Thank you all for your responses ❤️ I really appreciate it

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 7:10 pm

Op I don’t know you and I don’t know how many children you have.
There are so many small and big daily encounters we are faced with, some in our control and some not. To evaluate each one if it will scar the child or not adds unnecessary guilt to each dynamic.
I think it would be helpful to let go a little bit of how much you feel you are in control of in terms of shaping this child. Meaning by all means do all you can, but focus on how much you can add Gd in the picture and the benefits of each situation even if it’s not your ideal.
Hatzlacha and enjoy your baby!

amother

Tiffanyblue

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 7:19 pm

Why would you even think of bringing this up again? DH acted extremely responsibly, and please for anyone else reading this if for whatever reason you don’t feel up to tending to your baby leave them in a SAFE place and step away. NEVER tend to your infant when you are feeling that that exhausted or touched out.

↑ imaima

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 1:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

What do you mean you let this slide? He was right to put down the baby. Have you realized the baby could catch pneumonia too?