Very Put Together But Rotten Teeth

Cheiny ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 3:51 pm

I met someone on Shabbos who was very pretty, beautifully dressed, good figure, made up, gorgeous lace wig, manicured nails, nice jewelry, but with rotten, and almost black-colored teeth. It was so hard to overlook, every time she spoke it was all you could notice… someone else I know even asked me why someone doesn’t suggest she take care of her problem with her teeth. So obviously people are noticing…

I’m just surprised she was so careful about every other part of her appearance yet this one issue is left neglected.

watergirl

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 3:58 pm

I’m very very sure it bothers her way more than it bothered anybody else. If she’s not taking care of it then I am absolutely certain there’s a reason. Maybe she has a major phobia of the dentist, maybe some other reason. But it would be obvious to me to assume as hard as it was for you to look past, it is even harder for her to live with, and she has her reasons for doing so.

amother

Mayflower ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 4:00 pm

Please don't say anything. Trust me she knows. And she's trying her hard as a compensate in every other way.

↑ Cheiny ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 4:01 pm

watergirl wrote:

Yeah I thought of that, but I’m not so sure it bothers her or that she feels self conscious, which is good. She seems secure, outgoing, lively etc. …I just felt bad because obviously people notice and were talking about it… she’s so pretty aside from that.

↑ Cheiny ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 4:04 pm

amother Mayflower wrote:

Please don't say anything. Trust me she knows. And she's trying her hard as a compensate in every other way.

Of course I wouldn’t say anything, and I told the other person who made the comment to me that it’s her issue and we shouldn’t be discussing it… but my friend seemed genuinely concerned like she wanted to help the woman realize how bad and noticeable it looks and suggest ways she can get them fixed.

I told her to MYOB. I did feel bad though.

amother

Peru

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 4:06 pm

I don’t know the lady that you’re talking about but a friend of mine has this issue. It’s extremely expensive to take care of. Even if she went to Mexico where she found a really cheap practice to do it, it would be $5000 at least. She is waiting for a bigger milestone birthday splurge that kind of expense

I also have a cousin with that issue who had work done in Manhattan and it was almost $20k. Cosmetic dentistry is expensive

amother

Aqua ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 4:07 pm

I am put together but despite spending thousands on care I have bad hormonal acne. You seem to have the answers… what do you think I should do, OP.

zaq

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 4:15 pm

MYOB unless you're a dentist offering to rehabilitate her mouth for free or a philanthropist offering to underwrite the cost of same. Unlike a slip peeking out of a hemline or a purse that's gaping open, this is something the individual cannot possibly miss; you really think she doesn't know? Your "helpful" advice will only humiliate her. This woman is clearly doing the best she can with the resources she has. In case you were unaware, dental rehabilitation is extremely costly and can't be DIY'd or achieved by shopping thrift stores.

amother

Goldenrod ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 5:02 pm

Maybe she is like me. Here are the 3 things that are holding me back-

1- I gave birth to a few kids back to back and was unable to get the dental work I needed due to the treatments not being pregnancy safe. Couple that with my pregnancies taking a huge toll on my teeth between calcium deficiency and uncontrollable never-ending acid and vomit.

2 - I live in Lakewood. There are no actual cosmetic dentists here , just general dentists. I would need to commute for a series of appointments and I have been unable to commit to that yet, due to my responsibilities as a mom and to my work.

3- The cost estimated was between $25,000 to $30,000 pretty much out of pocket. Many people who are very put together still don’t have that kind of money to put down in one shot.

amother

Tanzanite ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 5:47 pm

zaq wrote:

Thank you for saying that. I’m probably not the only one so who knows but I think I’m the subject of op.

amother

↑ Tanzanite ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 5:48 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

I am put together but despite spending thousands on care I have bad hormonal acne. You seem to have the answers… what do you think I should do, OP.

Be my friend. I have bad teeth. We can hang out together while op and her friends worry what to do about us.

jd1212

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 5:54 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Frum women shouldn’t be talking about it in the first place.

amother

↑ Denim

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 6:02 pm

If you want to have a beautiful mouth in Olan Haba - per the Chofetz Chaim, quit talking about other people!

iluvy

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 6:06 pm

A society in which people discuss their friends like this - even or especially in the guise of concern - is ten times more rotten than the teeth.

↑ Cheiny

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 6:07 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

I am put together but despite spending thousands on care I have bad hormonal acne. You seem to have the answers… what do you think I should do, OP.

Fix your attitude… that will go a long way.

amother

Steel ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 6:24 pm

I hav really ugly teeth. deep deep orange/yellow and stained. I look put together. I grew up in dysfunctional family and was not taught to brush or taken to dentists. I eventually started to brush when older. My enamel is worn out and whitening strips are so incredibly painful, I cant even begin to describe the pain. Other lighter forms of whitening for sensitive teeth dont work much, I tried everything. I am in debt and have no money and cant afford the basics, so although I hate my teeth and a lot of other things, there isnt anything I can do at this point.