Help me, my oldest dd just got her period 1st time

amother

Waterlily ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:23 am

amother Slategray wrote:

If a teenager is able to diaper a baby I'm confindent a female with half a brain is able to figure out how to attach a pad into her underwear. It's not rocket science.

Who would know how to diaper a baby without ever having seen it done? I don’t think I would. And once I’m shown how, I will know for the rest of my life.
I am happy to show my daughter how to things the first time.
Such defensiveness here.

amother

↑ Slategray ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:29 am

amother NeonPurple wrote:

It's unfortunately true Teary Eyed

Just as a side note but I secretly would love to give the mistress of the house (who doesn't have a garbage can in bathroom) my used folded and neatly rolled up pad (in toilet paper) in her hand and ask her gently to dispose it. LOL

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:32 am

Whoa I wasn't looking to start a wild debate here. My daughter is 13.5 And a very smart girl. She didn't want me to show her, should I insist on showing her??? I let her be, and she figured it out on her own.
She has no shame in talking about it with me. She's just an independent spirit, a girl after my own heart.
I'm very proud that she has no problem coming to talk to me about her period. I never even told my mother when I got my period the first time because there was so much shame around it. I'm happy that I was able to work on myself and speak openly with her from a young age without making it into an uncomfortable topic.

amother

Iris

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:42 am

Each mother has to know her daughter, but I personally think it can't hurt to show your daughter how to use pads BEFORE they get their actual period. My daughter is I guess a slow learner and I showed her before and then she still had questions when she had to wear them the first time. Even the few times after she is still figuring out which ones she likes and where to place them. I was happy that she had no problem talking to me about it, but I understand kids who won't want to discuss with a parent.

amother

↑ Slategray

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:43 am

amother OP wrote:

Your daughter definitely seems mature enough and intelligent to handle it on her own.

↑ tulip3 ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 12:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

The debate about showing was aimed at other ppl. Who like black and white rules mixed with defensiveness aka feelings they haven't dealt with. Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job!

amother

Opal

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 12:25 pm

tulip3 wrote:

the pads I buy dont have instructions-ive never seen instructions in general. I showed my daughter before the age she could get her period and then once she got it, I showed again (after asking, "do you remember how to put it on?").

Why are some/most of you so uncomfortable with talking about periods? I am so curious to understand this. Please work through you shame/embarrassment over a functional factual body part/experience so that you don't pass this on to your kids. How do you think they will learn about relations if there's so much uncomfortableness with just a period? If we/you cant look at our daughters in the eye when talking about body parts, fluid, function, how will they be magically comfortable to ask questions about this and more adult topics that will come up?

I think there's no instructions because it's commons sense, no? Not sure what there is to misunderstand about them.

↑ tulip3 ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 1:28 pm

amother Opal wrote:

I think there's no instructions because it's commons sense, no? Not sure what there is to misunderstand about them.

Folding laundry also comes with no instructions. Do you show your kids how to fold?
To an adult experienced female, it makes sense you can't comprehend this, but to a 10 year old or someone who's never seen it, they might need a ten second demonstration.
If your kids don't need that, good for you.

amother

Grape ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 5:26 pm

tulip3 wrote:

real life does not come with a manual

amother

Tan

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 9:22 pm

honey36 wrote:

Almost there (oldest girl is 10). I was planning on making a whole celebration out of it by taking her out for ice cream maybe to the mall. Is that too much?

not our style. I told my dd that some people do that. she thought it was super weird. she's more of a no nonsense type as well though. we are more of the nonchalant, tell them what to expect in advance without being all awkward about it, here if you need anything type and thank G-d my girls talk to my husband and me.

amother

↑ Waterlily

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 9:24 pm

amother Grape wrote:

real life does not come with a manual

Yes it does.
It’s called friends and family and whoever is in your support system. And Google.

Is this a shita thing? Do you teach your kids how to do anything or try to teach as little as possible to prep them for the real world?
I’m curious where the line between guiding/coddling is for you.

amother

↑ Grape

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 9:33 pm

amother Wallflower wrote:

my oldest daughter is only 3 so I have time for this....just thinking what I would actually do in a number of years,, my mom made it awkard when she told me so I would not wanna do that to my daugher.

amother

↑ NeonPurple ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:36 pm

amother Slategray wrote:

And if it was your MIL?

amother

↑ NeonPurple ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:39 pm

amother Grape wrote:

So make it not awkward.
But why leave your daughter hanging and needing to figure things out on her own? BH she has a mother

tweety1

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:54 pm

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

Same!! Just had a baby and wearing them, it’s the best ever! No rashes, no itching, no adjusting…. I HATE pads, this underwear is a lifesaver.

Which company do you wear post partum that absorbent enough?