Help me, my oldest dd just got her period 1st time

↑ tulip3 ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:36 am

DrMom wrote:

If you already gave her info about getting her period, then I'm sure she can figure out how to use a pad (or period underwear). If not, there are instructions and illustrations on the box. Of course, buy her some so she has a stock in the house.

You can get her a small discreet bag to stash a small supply so she can take some to school or camp or whatever.

You have to know your kid really well because some need a demonstration and the super independent ones maybe not. We prepare our kids with books and acting out going to the doctor, dentist, school for the first time. Periods are a big deal, why a sudden attitude change? Let's prepare, show and teach without just handing a book and a pad and goodbye.

Iymnok

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:37 am

When my daughters were 10 or so I read "The Wonder if Becoming You" with them and answered their questions. It was really just a medium to start the conversation. They occasionally come to me with questions. I love it when they come with misconceptions from their friends. I give them the correct information. Sometimes I tell them that some information is for when they are old enough to date.
The most important thing is to have open, comfortable communication.
I also never showed them how to use a pad. They are too easy for me to get involved with.
I make sure to have a good supply of the preferred pain relief because their schedules don't match up.
I also keep extra pads in my own purse even when I'm pregnant or nursing clean.

amother

↑ Slategray ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:38 am

tulip3 wrote:

the pads I buy dont have instructions-ive never seen instructions in general. I showed my daughter before the age she could get her period and then once she got it, I showed again (after asking, "do you remember how to put it on?").

Why are some/most of you so uncomfortable with talking about periods? I am so curious to understand this. Please work through you shame/embarrassment over a functional factual body part/experience so that you don't pass this on to your kids. How do you think they will learn about relations if there's so much uncomfortableness with just a period? If we/you cant look at our daughters in the eye when talking about body parts, fluid, function, how will they be magically comfortable to ask questions about this and more adult topics that will come up?

If a teenager is able to diaper a baby I'm confindent a female with half a brain is able to figure out how to attach a pad into her underwear. It's not rocket science.

amother

DarkOrange

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:40 am

amother Jean wrote:

Ok I got this: take your daughter out in the car. Drive someplace on a highway. No eye contact. Repeat no eye contact. Say your piece.

Sorry, I don’t mean to criticize your advice but I really don’t recommend the car idea. I have trauma from my mother choosing to have her talks with me in the car, when I was trapped and powerless to escape. I am still angry about it to this day. No one should be forced into uncomfortable conversations like this.

amother

Magenta ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:41 am

amother Slategray wrote:

If a teenager is able to diaper a baby I'm confindent a female with half a brain is able to figure out how to attach a pad into her underwear. It's not rocket science.

Huh? Those are two different things.

↑ tulip3 ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:41 am

amother Slategray wrote:

If a teenager is able to diaper a baby I'm confindent a female with half a brain is able to figure out how to attach a pad into her underwear. It's not rocket science.

Why is there so much resistance to showing a child (yes, some get their periods at 9,10,11 etc) how to use a pad? What's the big deal doing this "extra step"? The pads with wings are not simple if youve never seen them in your life and this is all brand new and overwhelming. Let's make this easier, kinder and less overwhelming and awkward/shameful then the previous generation made it.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:42 am

amother Turquoise wrote:

What is a mini bag? Links?

I’m at my wits end with my 11 year old she is so immature and gets her period so often!

If once a month is often for you then it's all fine.
Why are you are your wits end?

amother

↑ Slategray ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:44 am

amother Magenta wrote:

Huh? Those are two different things.

Diaper a baby is far more complicated compared to show to use a pad. Rolling Eyes

amother

↑ Magenta ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:46 am

amother Slategray wrote:

Diaper a baby is far more complicated compared to show to use a pad. Rolling Eyes

No it's not, and it's pretty rude of you to implicitly mock those of us who had a bit of a learning curve. Pad placement can be tricky. It's easy to accidentally put it too far front or back, unless it's one of the extra long ones. And wings can easily get stuck to themselves.

amother

↑ Alyssum

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 10:56 am

Am I the only one who’s actually looking forward to telling my daughter about periods?
She’s only 7, but we have the cutest conversations about everything under the sun, including women’s bodies and having babies. She feels so grown up and special when we do. I’m expecting such a positive bonding experience when we can finally talk about periods, shop for cute bras etc. I think it comes because I have a very positive outlook towards femininity and womanhood. No shame attached whatsoever.

The only challenge I’m anticipating is how my son who is close in age to her doesn’t get excluded in an obvious way. Our kids are extremely close with each other and there are no real secrets amongst the siblings. This will be a first. I hope it won’t cause any complicated feelings to suddenly be excluded. Any advice welcome.

amother

↑ Slategray ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:01 am

tulip3 wrote:

If you absolutely want to be so involved then please involve yourself.
Some of us just know we don't need to give out daughters a course how to fold over the wings over the panties.

amother

↑ Slategray ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:08 am

amother Magenta wrote:

So daughters apparently learn with time and as they say Practice makes perfect.
Please don't complicate things. It's not rocket science.

↑ tulip3 ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:09 am

amother Slategray wrote:

If you absolutely want to be so involved then please involve yourself.
Some of us just know we don't need to give out daughters a course how to fold over the wings over the panties.

It's not about wanting to be involved. It's this idea that you're so uncomfortable with this topic that any way you can not teach or show, the better. I'm coming from an angle that, girls are different and have different needs. If they are on the younger side (9-11) , this assumption that they just know what to do is not a good thing to have. You could ask your kid, do you want me to show you? My kid said yes, she looked at the wings and was like huhhhh, what is this? My other kid will prob not be as confused I think but I'll ask the same question. A 30 second demonstration is not dramatic or too involved if that's what's needed and it's not a "course" like your sarcastic reply wrote.

↑ tulip3 ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:10 am

amother Alyssum wrote:

That's beautiful! Your daughter is lucky to have you as her mother!

amother

↑ Magenta ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:11 am

amother Slategray wrote:

If you absolutely want to be so involved then please involve yourself.
Some of us just know we don't need to give out daughters a course how to fold over the wings over the panties.

Sounds like you're complicating things. Parents show their children most things, from how to use a spoon to how to turn on the washing machine. It's not that deep.

amother

↑ Slategray ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:16 am

amother Catmint wrote:

My oldest daughter just got hers less than a month ago. We talked about it for a while beforehand. Then when it happened I wished her mazel tov, and took her out to eat at the restaurant of her choosing. Got her supplies, a journal/planner to keep track, and oh! I still ha e to get her a cute bag to hold the stuff. You shoud make sure her bathroom garbage has a lid. Ended up I took her out of school for a special lunch celebration. It was nice and we didn't talk about anything serious, just enjoyed being together, then brought her back.

Some homes don't even have a garbage bin in the bathrooms according to imamother.com

amother

↑ NeonPurple ↓

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:21 am

amother Slategray wrote:

Some homes don't even have a garbage bin in the bathrooms according to imamother.com

It's unfortunately true Teary Eyed