Non-Jewish camp, chizzuk needed

amother

Lightcoral

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 5:33 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

sorry op but this is a terrible idea, rather keep him home.

That's a very unhelpful. She says she works full time and doesn't have other options. You can try and be creative but you can't keep him home. 8 years old is too young to be home alone for that long. Even by CPS standards.

Cheiny

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 5:35 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

Would you say the same about Yeshiva vs. public school? Why, or why not?

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 5:36 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

maybe if she says where she lives

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 5:38 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

she should rather put it on a credit card not knowing how she will pay it off than send to a not jewish camp

Cheiny

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 5:39 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

So what is your solution? Go fund me?

I’m sure there are camps who would help financially if they’re told her only other option is a non Jewish camp. When there’s a will there’s a way.

Just like we wouldn’t decide to opt out of keeping certain halachos because they’re too expensive (and I’m not discussing halacha in regards to this camp choice, just giving another example of how we can find a solution if it’s a priority), Somehow everyone finds a way when it’s a priority.

This should be a priority.

Cheiny

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 5:41 pm

tichellady wrote:

Most kids in my community go to non Jewish summer camp and are happy and fine

It’s doubtful you can vouch for any effects it may have on those kids, currently, or long term, or that you know exactly what’s going on in people’s homes with all their kids.

tichellady

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 6:01 pm

Cheiny wrote:

It’s doubtful you can vouch for any effects it may have on those kids, currently, or long term, or that you know exactly what’s going on in people’s homes with all their kids.

That’s true of every scenario in the world

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 6:56 pm

My kids went to YMCA camps (not exclusively). Sometimes they were good enough and sometimes they were not. Depends on the staff. Ages ranged quite a bit. From K5 to 5th grade. No anti-semitism at the time. But there was quite the range of parental qualities of the co-campers.

Cheiny

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 8:26 pm

tichellady wrote:

That’s true of every scenario in the world

And that’s why you have no way of knowing or being able to claim that nothing detrimental results from children attending non Jewish camp or school.
My close friend sent her daughters to public school supposedly for financial reasons, although I strongly encouraged her to reconsider. Her daughter ended up pregnant at 15 by a non Jewish, black boy.

While of course the naysayers will say, that can’t happen to OP’s young child, that’s not the point. The point is when a child becomes comfortable with being in a non Jewish environment, and is subjected to the influences and the behaviors of that environment and those types of friends, there are untold ways that it can have detrimental results.

I’d say if OP would like to get an outside perspective for more clarity and comfort, she should speak to any Rabbi, even an open minded one, as long as he’s solidly orthodox. I doubt any one would be ok with this idea.

amother

Lightgray

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:00 pm

www.thecampfund.com

PJ library has a fund

Coney Island community council has a fund.

Please OP, a Jewish boy belongs in a Jewish setting where he'll daven, say brochos, and have Jewish friends.

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:07 pm

To OP's original point about anti-Semitism, my son does some extra-curriculars with non-Jewish kids and has not had any bad experiences so far all year BH. Hopefully that aspect won't be an issue.

Also, maybe you or your husband could learn with him in the morning before camp and also set up a chavrusa for him once or twice a week after camp.

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:18 pm

I know of somone that did a go fund me. If your willing to pay the amount of the other camp it's not the full price.

Could you hire a very young jewish kid like.a jc to play with him at your work place? Do you have any family members out of town that live in a place with a cheaper daycamp? Mayne he could spend a month their. It's such a shame that no body cares if you can't afford school or camp. Their isn't anyone to talk to.

amother

DarkViolet

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:34 pm

I’m sorry OP this is the wrong place for chizzuk. Perhaps a non religious forum will get you the chizzuk you need. Imamothers are acutely aware that sending a preteen to a non Jewish camp all summer is rolling the dice that he will stay in the fold when he matures.

There is no way that a healthy mature boy does not become influenced by the standards, morals, beliefs, and values of his peers and especially his role models, the non Jewish counselors.

If I sent my son to be an alter boy in the local church because I had no other way to occupy him on Sunday I would not come to Imamother for chizzuk.

You aren’t making the decision for one summer. You are deciding what the next seventy years of your sons life will look like. Who he will marry. His belief system, His family. What HIS children will look like. Good luck making the right decision.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 10:02 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

So what is your solution? Go fund me?

Ive seen go fund me's for lesser reasons. Its not crazy.

Its not mine to judge and I certainly would never tell another mother what to do for her child. But since she posted, I will add my voice to those saying that we should do everything to help this child go to an appropriate camp especially with anti-sem on the rise.

OP , what chizzuk were you asking for?

amother

PlumPink

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 10:53 am

I'm sorry OP but your child's spirituality is more important than finances or your need for him to go out.
I have a relative that did this and her daughter is now a very pro-Israel, proud to be Jewish but non-frum 23 year old, who is as liberal as they come - pro-gay marriage, pro-choice, you name it.
It was not worth it.

As others said, there are funds for this. Definitely look into Oorah's The Zone. I know a few shomer shabbos families that sent there even though many of the kids are not from frum homes. At least they are being taught the beauty of Judaism rather than the opposite.

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 10:57 am

Honestly, I think everyone here who has told OP how awful this is should send her $100 towards her camp fund. Put your money where your mouth is and don’t just make her feel bad.