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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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 Sun, Jun 09 2024, 2:22 am
| amother Blush wrote: | expectations of friendship is one thing.
Not greeting others who you see every day is another. |
I don’t see that. I said the BP women in my orbit are very friendly.
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medola
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 2:37 am
| amother Foxglove wrote: | | no offense and sorry to be blunt but most of these people won't be friends with you regardless of how you try to fit in because no matter how hard you try you still wont fit it. It's just the way it is. So just be yourself and hope you find some friends but don't expect too. Good luck! |
And we wonder why moshiach isn’t here yet…
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Comptroller
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 2:48 am
| amother Garnet wrote: | I laughed so hard reading this thread but I also cried a little. The norm in bp is to be classy at all times. Final. So the trends here will be which brand name is in that season, everyone kids wear the same high end brands or dupes. Just because it's comfortable doesn't mean it should be used or worn, not one person on 13th Avenue is using a babycarrier. Like never. Image is very important. It comes naturally to us who are born and bred here. I can easily buy a sweater in target or old navy but without thinking I will only buy ones in colors and styles that are classy or in the seasons styles with a more expensive look.
Hair needs to be refined and styled. Strangled long loose hair isn't something that is done. Kids have shabbos shoes and shabbos coats from toddler age. Hair accessories change every season. Girls don't wear socks past preschool for the most part. Children play outside but it's on the sidewalk so they stay neater. They're not playing in mud puddles or digging in the dirt.
Boys wear fitted pants. Spring jackets are used instead of sweatshirts. When u go out is expected to wear a wig and nicer dressed clothes. No house clothes. Most people I see wear makeup every day. Brand name small purses, no big tote bags.
The list is endless but it really boils down to looking and acting classy. |
I suppose the real meaning of "classy" is conformist.
But you use "classy" because you think that "classy" is better than "conformist", while it is really the same.
Because: what is "classy"? Nobody knows, there is no definition. It is just "what everyone does".
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:21 am
No, different communities have different norms and they’re not always “classy”.
In some communities it’s the norm to dress super casual and colorful. BP isn’t the first place to have norms around dress.
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amother
Zinnia
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:40 am
| amother Hibiscus wrote: | I think the main thing is the accent, no? Speaking English with the BP accent and sprinkling in some Yiddish words here and there.
As soon as you don't have the accent, it's clear that you are not one if them and may as well just do you.
Anyone who is snobby will snob you and anyone who is welcoming will do so regardless. No need to change who you are! |
How does the accent differ to Monsey?
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 11:44 am
| Comptroller wrote: | I suppose the real meaning of "classy" is conformist.
But you use "classy" because you think that "classy" is better than "conformist", while it is really the same.
Because: what is "classy"? Nobody knows, there is no definition. It is just "what everyone does". |
Great, so majority of BPers are conformists.
It's true! The peer pressure here is through the roof. There's always gonna be the 15 people who say they don't care and end up going their own thing, then there'll be those here on this thread who find it comfortable to deny it because they're afraid of being attacked
Get it through your heads, no one's attacking you or BP. We're just staying the truth, there is loads of peer pressure and there are certain standards that one must keep in order to be with it. And everyone wants to be with it, especially in BP.
Those of us who couldn't do it anymore left. So why are you who are still there so mad at us?
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 2:16 pm
| amother Mistyrose wrote: | Great, so majority of BPers are conformists.
It's true! The peer pressure here is through the roof. There's always gonna be the 15 people who say they don't care and end up going their own thing, then there'll be those here on this thread who find it comfortable to deny it because they're afraid of being attacked
Get it through your heads, no one's attacking you or BP. We're just staying the truth, there is loads of peer pressure and there are certain standards that one must keep in order to be with it. And everyone wants to be with it, especially in BP.
Those of us who couldn't do it anymore left. So why are you who are still there so mad at us? |
EXACTLY!
It is what it is and there's no reason to deny it.
And some want to leave but can't because of various reasons.
When I first had my kids I was shocked that all the clothes my neighbors were wearing costed the price of my entire order for the season just in one outfit. Till then I had no idea because my parents never shopped local....
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amother
Dustypink
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 6:32 pm
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LOL when I lived in BP (moved away from there exactly 20 years ago) I wore such slippers and I was the neb. They were "Bobberish" Everyone had fancy closed toe slippers (mules) to use out of the house and we refused to part from our comfortable birkenstocks.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 6:46 pm
| amother Dustypink wrote: | | LOL when I lived in BP (moved away from there exactly 20 years ago) I wore such slippers and I was the neb. They were "Bobberish" Everyone had fancy closed toe slippers (mules) to use out of the house and we refused to part from our comfortable birkenstocks. |
Yeah styles come and go. Nature of the beast.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 6:56 pm
op, just curious why did you move to BP? It sounds like you are not chassidish. Unless you are and I misunderstood.
The only Litvish people I know of who live in BP are 65+ and are still living there from years ago and never moved out when BP became Chassidish.
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amother
Whitewash
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 8:15 pm
| amother Mistyrose wrote: | Ohhhh, you're about to have a huge culture shock.
As someone who escaped BP, let me tell you. You can't get anymore in town snobbiness like you get in BP. Sure, some people are great, there are a lot of organizations and chessed, bla bla bla. The truth is though, it's a judgy place. People will think less of you if your kids are mismatched and if you don't look just so.
So gear up, it's gonna be a tough few weeks till you learn the ins.
Sending loads of love! Hope you settle in soon. |
I don't find snobbiness to be the norm in boro park, but I can relate. I have snobby neighbors now and I've never felt this way. Living in BP all my life. Moved a year ago to a different block and I'm waiting to leave as the neighbors here are really not friendly. That being said, in the past 40 years didn't have this at all. Definitely the minority of BP, not the majority. @amother mistyrose you probably were unlucky as well to land next to people that live in their own little bubble.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 8:19 pm
| amother Mauve wrote: | op, just curious why did you move to BP? It sounds like you are not chassidish. Unless you are and I misunderstood.
The only Litvish people I know of who live in BP are 65+ and are still living there from years ago and never moved out when BP became Chassidish. |
I'm not OP, but where does she say whether she is chasidish or not?
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amother
Maroon
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 9:06 pm
I live in bp for many years, I will not move anywhere bli neder until moshiach comes, just love it.
all of you bp'ers taking crazy peer pressure, you're doing it to yourself... just relax and be you! Its your choice how you want your life to be physically and emotionally too..
someone opened a new thread for all the love for bp.. everyone who got a bad image on bp through this thread, make sure to read the other one 
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amother
Chambray
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:13 pm
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Do siblings match each other every day of the week or just shabbos?
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amother
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Sun, Jun 09 2024, 10:55 pm
| amother Chambray wrote: | | Do siblings match each other every day of the week or just shabbos? |
Mostly shabbos and Sundays when the whole family goes out together but some do match every day.
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