DD not allowed back to school until...

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:32 pm

amother Lime wrote:

Are there no sfardim in this school?
I find this attitude very off putting.

No there aren't. And although I have sefardi relatives, I've never seen a Henna from a sefardi simcha, though I have heard of them and it's the reason I am ok with them.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:34 pm

abound wrote:

is this the first time se did somehing that is too close to the line....or over the line for this school?
I know many sephardic and askenaz students...the BY type dont get hennas for fun....its only at simchos, and no school gave them or their ashkenaz freinds a hard time for it.
Also the ones they do at simchos dont take weeks to come off. Maybe a few days. This sounds more like a temp tatoo.

Schools dont have rules abt tatoos, they also dont have rules about drinkin, motorcycles, 2nd peircing.....they dont expect their girls to do it.

Yes. DD is well liked by the principal, teachers and students. She is NOT a trouble maker at all.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:41 pm

Just to update:
On thursday evening I emailed the principal saying we tried 5 different ways to fade/remove the henna and it didn;t work well. The response I got was basically "keep trying, we want her back in school"

Then today, the principal called me. I was too annoyed to answer the phone. I finally called back hours later and was told that they want dd back in school. And since she has tried to remove it, as long as she covers it and keeps trying, she can come back to school. I think pressure was applied to the principal who admitted to me that they never even saw the Henna, just heard about it!!

(I spoke to 1 of dds teachers today and she told me she and others tried talking to the principal and got nowhere, so I know someone applied pressure for the principal to back down)

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 4:16 am

Imagine being kicked out of school because you made a mitzvah tantz and this is considered public or whatever.
The same.

amother

↑ Wandflower

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 5:13 am

Ruchel wrote:

Imagine being kicked out of school because you made a mitzvah tantz and this is considered public or whatever.
The same.

In this case it’s not the same because she wasn’t wearing the henna after going to a party. She was wearing it as a form of a tattoo. That’s why the principal reacted.

patzer ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 7:58 am

Ruchel, I'm finding your posts disturbing.
Making a mitzva tantz is a minhag that's been practiced for many generations.
There's no "minhag" to get a temporary tattoo while visiting a fun fair.
Why would you compare the two?

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 8:01 am

Ruchel wrote:

Imagine being kicked out of school because you made a mitzvah tantz and this is considered public or whatever.
The same.

Umm no it’s not at all the same. And the one she had done had no Jewish significance she had it done at a fair.

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 8:12 am

Henna is a minhag they're doing for centuries
If anyone with henna is kicked out, it SHOULD disturb
If it's about the fair then it's not about henna

amother

Glitter

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 8:14 am

amother OP wrote:

We went to a Fair and someone was doing them. DD likes them and has had them before, so I let her get one. It makes her happy, so I figured "why not?"

THIS situation would be the reason why not. Its unfair to blame the school if one ch'v were to go otd when You made the first unnecessary and non conformist move

amother

↑ Cobalt ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 8:16 am

Ruchel wrote:

Henna is a minhag they're doing for centuries
If anyone with henna is kicked out, it SHOULD disturb
If it's about the fair then it's not about henna

It’s not about henna she didn’t get it done as a minhag.

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 8:18 am

Is it in the school rule? Did you know it was forbidden? Temporary tattoo isn't a problem halachically. Certainly not henna since it's actually for some a good luck thing. Don't ask the significance from me exactly but perhaps Halla Nidda?? Something else

amother

↑ Cobalt

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 8:20 am

Ruchel wrote:

This isn’t about halacha. Schools don’t allow temporary tattoos either. Some don’t allow nail polish. It’s about not doing some things while you are going to be in the school building.

jerusalem90

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 8:37 am

I'm shocked that they wouldn't let her go to school with a bandage wrapped around the area of the tattoo.

When girls at my school would wear a shirt too short, instead of being sent home, the office had extra large shirts and the girl would just have to wear that for the rest of the day. So much more efficient than missing school. A bandage over the hand would be the same principle.

amother

Caramel

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 9:59 am

amother Glitter wrote:

THIS situation would be the reason why not. Its unfair to blame the school if one ch'v were to go otd when You made the first unnecessary and non conformist move

If it’s not written in the rule book, it was done before with no comment, and the principal refused to accept their attempts to make it right (covering it up etc) then it is 100% on the school.

OP said this is not a BY. I know day schools that would have no issue with henna. You can’t retroactively create rules without a grace period.

Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 10:13 am

Ruchel wrote:

Henna is a minhag they're doing for centuries
If anyone with henna is kicked out, it SHOULD disturb
If it's about the fair then it's not about henna

Henna done in sfardi circles at engagements are quite different from the henna tattoo painting, it doesn't compare it all.

↑ essie14

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 10:18 am

amother Caramel wrote:

Exactly. If there was no rule, then they can add the rule for next year, but to punish the student now is really wrong.

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 10:26 am

essie14 wrote:

Exactly. If there was no rule, then they can add the rule for next year, but to punish the student now is really wrong.

Yup. Smells of occupation type rules (there a name for such rules, my mind wanders [retroactive]- also find the third for hinna: hadlakas neros). I wouldn't tell them that, but very much pointed at the student. If she never did stuff before, why are they punishing her like this for stuff that was not in the book?

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 10:27 am

Ruchel wrote:

Ruchel, I have them feeling you haven't actually seen henna from an engagement as opposed to a temporary tattoo, am I right?
It's not about Halacha and henna. A temporary tattoo is still an adornment that isn't acceptable in certain settings. To me when I see a henna body painting or a tattoo it's the same thing (obviously one is *Halachically permitted*)
And no, it has nothing to do with Halla or Nidda in any way!

↑ Ruchel

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 10:29 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Henna's A Jewish Thing? | PDF | Halakha | Jews

Scribd
https://www.scribd.com › document › Henna-s-A-Jewish...
Hinna is an acronym for halla, nidda, and hadlaqat nerot. It has its roots in halakha,

NO WONDER many Mizrahi posters here don't post or leave.