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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
amother
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 Sun, Jun 02 2024, 7:55 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | I’m talking about an emergency. Anything else they just come inside and ask me. I’ve helped plenty little kids while sitting outside and wasn’t annoyed. Maybe we just have bigger hearts over here. |
I'm with you. The neighbors sitting outside are protection against kidnapping which this forum seems to think is a daily occurance. We all shout out reminders to each other's kids to put on sneakers and a helmet to ride a bike. I'm not expecting anyone to put my kids helmets on or get them water, they'll come to me for that. And when they fall off their scooter I hear and come running.
Maybe this is a cultural thing- helping each other out.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 7:57 pm
| amother Marigold wrote: | I don’t know,
Where I live I see too much helicopter parenting. (I’m guilty of being one). Looking back, my friends and o were raised with more independence, albeit the risks, I think there are a ton of benefits to that.
To the amother that wrote that at a certain age you will stop worrying and know if the right time, I disagree. Personally I still imagine worst case scenarios even when my 11 year old is outside, and yes even my husband. The world is a scary place, but we need to exert a balance on keeping our kids perfectly safe, while also giving them health independence.
That said, my frum area is loaded with little kids of all ages all summer long.
There are also survillience cameras all over. I know people who put a tracker in their kids trousers. |
I relate to that- imagining the worst- when my husband is late from Shul, etc.
but when your kids are young, you start wondering if you’ll ever not have to follow them with your eyes up and down the block as they ride their bikes. To that I say, yes. To live in constant fear, is passing it on by osmosis to our kids. They sense the anxiety without any words.
Do you still watch your 11 yr old outside? I’d assume he’d want some freedom.
This year, I believe my 7 yr old (my oldest), is old enough to be outside on his own. That’s not to say I don’t come check on him every 15-20 minutes or so. But my heart says that aside from my highly unlikely fears of him being run over by a pack of deer or the like, he’s fine to ride on my block without me watching every move. He tells me before he goes to friends, and I tell him when to be back.
That said, my 5 yr old is not. I can see myself asking this very question- bc it’s so tempting to have a break and 99.9% of the time nothing happens. But if I am uneasy, and feel ashamed that he’s outside without supervision- I know I am wrong.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:00 pm
Kids need supervision, not because of kidnapping. It's not even a concern to me. Young kids need supervision because they can wander off, cross the street, (even if you think your child won't do it), bother other kids, break things, create messes, get into dangerous situations like climbing things they shouldn't be climbing, they can fall & get hurt.....
We have a neighbor that doesn't supervise her kids outside. The kids get in to all sorts of trouble, bother other kids, pester other mom's. When we tell the mom that her kids are getting in to trouble & they need supervision, her response is "na my kids dont do that." Well, they do. So we're busy disciplining others kids every day.
Young kids need supervision & it's not okay to allow them outside by themselves. Regardless of how trustworthy you think your 2 year old is.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:01 pm
| amother Quince wrote: | I'm with you. The neighbors sitting outside are protection against kidnapping which this forum seems to think is a daily occurance. We all shout out reminders to each other's kids to put on sneakers and a helmet to ride a bike. I'm not expecting anyone to put my kids helmets on or get them water, they'll come to me for that. And when they fall off their scooter I hear and come running.
Maybe this is a cultural thing- helping each other out. |
Or is it possible those who depend on others are unaware how much those who do watch kids are resenting it… I think it’s less of a culture and more of an ignorance
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giftedmom
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:07 pm
| amother Jade wrote: | | How big is your heart if you can’t sit outside with your kids… |
I can just not all afternoon. I have younger kids and a home to run.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:21 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | I can just not all afternoon. I have younger kids and a home to run. |
You either need to change your schedule or take your young kids inside with you. There's absolutely no excuse for leaving young kids outside unsupervised.
When the weather turns nice, I reschedule my days so I can sit outside for a couple of hours every day. Leaving young kids outside unsupervised, is not even an option.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:26 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | I can just not all afternoon. I have younger kids and a home to run. |
So do we all. And why do kids have to be out all day? They are out in the time frame I carve out. Otherwise they are in the gated yard or inside.
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giftedmom
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:28 pm
| amother Jade wrote: | | So do we all. And why do kids have to be out all day? They are out in the time frame I carve out. Otherwise they are in the gated yard or inside. |
It’s healthy for them to be outside
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:30 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | It’s healthy for them to be outside |
It’s not healthy for them to be unsupervised. If you feel this way move to a place with a gated yard so they can sit outside all day.
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giftedmom
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:33 pm
| amother Jade wrote: | | It’s not healthy for them to be unsupervised. If you feel this way move to a place with a gated yard so they can sit outside all day. |
We’ll have to agree to disagree on that. And I just love when sanctimonious Ima’s bring out the “just move” card.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 8:36 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | It’s healthy for them to be outside |
Not unsupervised.
It's healthy to be outside every day, but this doesn't mean that they should be outside all day. You schedule outside time every day, a time when they can be supervised & at other times they're inside. It's simply negligent to allow little kids to be outside unsupervised, as well as unfair to the neighbors who you rely on watching your children. No one likes being neighbors with mothers that don't supervise their kids outside.
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giftedmom
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:11 pm
| amother Papaya wrote: | Not unsupervised.
It's healthy to be outside every day, but this doesn't mean that they should be outside all day. You schedule outside time every day, a time when they can be supervised & at other times they're inside. It's simply negligent to allow little kids to be outside unsupervised, as well as unfair to the neighbors who you rely on watching your children. No one likes being neighbors with mothers that don't supervise their kids outside. |
I don’t. I let them run out whenever they want. Sometimes I sit outside and sometimes I don’t. That’s okay you don’t have to agree with my parenting style.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:16 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | I don’t. I let them run out whenever they want. Sometimes I sit outside and sometimes I don’t. That’s okay you don’t have to agree with my parenting style. |
Your parenting style is irresponsible & you should know that neighbors may be resentful when they need to be the one's supervising or disciplining your kids (when your kids bother theirs.)
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:21 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | We’ll have to agree to disagree on that. And I just love when sanctimonious Ima’s bring out the “just move” card. |
Lovely name calling. Should we just continue resenting watching your kids, because trust me they are needy and we somehow get stuck helping them a lot, while you have things to do? Yeah you should move if it’s such a priority to you. The parenting style of let them raise themselves sounds nice, sounds like you have loads of spare time without those burdensome kids. The ones we raise for you.
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giftedmom
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:28 pm
| amother Papaya wrote: | | Your parenting style is irresponsible & you should know that neighbors may be resentful when they need to be the one's supervising or disciplining your kids (when your kids bother theirs.) |
Okay random ima
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giftedmom
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:30 pm
| amother Jade wrote: | | Lovely name calling. Should we just continue resenting watching your kids, because trust me they are needy and we somehow get stuck helping them a lot, while you have things to do? Yeah you should move if it’s such a priority to you. The parenting style of let them raise themselves sounds nice, sounds like you have loads of spare time without those burdensome kids. The ones we raise for you. |
Hahahahaha
I can’t even with you guys. No one is raising my kids for me or helping them unless they’re bleeding or getting snatched. Wouldn’t be such a bad idea tho, maybe just a little break.
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amother
Stonewash
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:30 pm
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Never happens in my town, I grew up in the suburbs. It was such a culture shock going to certain areas of BK and seeing kids walking around alone.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:33 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | Hahahahaha
I can’t even with you guys. No one is raising my kids for me or helping them unless they’re bleeding or getting snatched. Wouldn’t be such a bad idea tho, maybe just a little break. |
It’s good to be in denial. Leads to an easy stress free life.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:36 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | Hahahahaha
I can’t even with you guys. No one is raising my kids for me or helping them unless they’re bleeding or getting snatched. Wouldn’t be such a bad idea tho, maybe just a little break. |
How do you know if you're not outside?? If your kid is bothering my kid, taking away my kids bike.... who do you think is taking care of the situation & disciplining your kid??
And why should neighbors help your bleeding kids?? You should be the one supervising them & helping them, not the neighbors.
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giftedmom
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Sun, Jun 02 2024, 9:43 pm
| amother Papaya wrote: | How do you know if you're not outside?? If your kid is bothering my kid, taking away my kids bike.... who do you think is taking care of the situation & disciplining your kid??
And why should neighbors help your bleeding kids?? You should be the one supervising them & helping them, not the neighbors. |
Because I do the same for them. We help each other. We’re not “each to their own” like you seem to be. I don’t mean a little scrape. They come in for those.
I would help any bleeding kid I see on the street, and so would any adult outside.
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