Father bathing girls

amother

OP ↓

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:01 pm

Till what age is it appropriate for a father to give their daughters a bath? My niece is 8 years old & her father bathes her. I find it inappropriate at this age, but my SIL doesn't see anything wrong with it.
Till what age do you think it's appropriate?

amother

Yolk ↓

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:03 pm

It completely depends on the maturity of the child. I have a child with some delays although she presents as “normal” he helps bathe her and it’s fine because she’s not embarrassed about her body yet. When a daughter asks for privacy then it’s time. And really it’s not your business to judge your niece and her situation.

amother

Wandflower

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is she disabled? At 8 my children bathed (or mostly showered) themselves.

amother

Offwhite

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:05 pm

Why is this different than a mother bathing her son's???

Until they ask for privacy or mature it's fine....my 7 year old son needs help still sometimes and either sh or I can go.

Either one of us or our kids bathe the 3 year old.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:10 pm

Genius wrote:

She asked you for your opinion?

They were at our house for shabbos, and my BIL gave the girls a bath. So I asked my SIL if they don't bathe themselves yet, she said that my BIL loves to bathe them. I don’t know why I got an uncomfortable feeling about it. She doesn't see a reason to teach her kids how to bathe themselves.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:11 pm

amother Glitter wrote:

As long as they need bathing.

At what age should a healthy child be able to bathe & shower by themselves/mostly by themselves?

amother

Brickred

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:15 pm

Somehow I see women bathing boys less problematic than a man bathing a girl. I used to always go help my sister after school and I bathed my nephews till prob 6-7 yrs old and was totally fine. I don’t know if I would let my my daughter be bathed by her uncles ever. And her father probably till 2. I’m just not comfortable with the idea not that there’s anything specifically wrong.

Eta I didn’t Vote because there’s no 2 option.

amother

Anemone

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:23 pm

Until whatever age it's appropriate for their mother to bathe them. 8 is a bit old imo. I would just have a parent on standby outside the bathroom door.

amother

Snowflake

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:23 pm

My 8 year old dd is very capable of showering herself but many times is lazy and kvetches, "help me!" She has no problem if it's dh or me. We don't actually soap her but we'll sit there and hand her the soap, shampoo and help her wash out the conditioner. She feels no busha yet and we keep trying to tell her that she's a big girl but when she's very tired she'll still beg for help. Dh will do it if I'm not available. I told her already that when she turns 9 soon, this game is over. Bit I don't think it's weird for a father to do. Some 8 year Olds are still very babyish

amother

Purple

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:26 pm

My dh bathes my dd who is 5.5. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Chayalle

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:26 pm

Honestly if there was a problem then a man should not bathe a girl at any age. And assuming he's appropriate and just a loving father, then it depends on the child and her needs, just like her mother would offer assistance needed.

amother

NeonBlue

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:30 pm

My daughter used to have a hard time washing out the shampoo well until 7, maybe 8 years old. My husband definitely helped her.

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:31 pm

Come on. He’s their father, not some creep. I hope my daughter is comfortable enough in her body and be ok with my husband helping her in any way necessary, forever.

I think it’s extremely messed to even suggest that this is inappropriate.

My daughter is just 4 though, so maybe I don’t get it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:31 pm

I think what made me uncomfortable is that they see no reason to teach their girls how to bathe themselves because the father "loves" to bathe them, he sits & plays with them & makes bath time in to daddy daughter time.
They also don't instill modesty & privacy in their kids, the kids can walk around totally naked in the house & even eat dinner like that. The parents don't see anything wrong with it. I think it's a bit concerning. Especially for an 8 year old. She can eat & play totally naked for hours.

amother

DarkCyan

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:31 pm

Omg. My husband bathes my 7 year old. It never dawned on me that it could be inappropriate. She's a baby. (He's actually teaching her how to do it herself.)

amother

Springgreen ↓

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:32 pm

The only thing thats awkward is that she said he loves to bathe her.

My husband doesnt like extra chores but will do it if I need help.

amother

↑ Springgreen

Sun, May 19 2024, 7:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is really bizzare