S/o overspend Do you spend a lot on your special needs child

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amother

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:31 pm

So yes I’m guilty of overspending on my special needs child. Am I the only one? I waited years for him, and he’s my doll and I love buying things for him. I spend more on him than on my teens. Am I the only one?

amother

Peach

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:35 pm

A friend of mine spends a lot on her Downs Syndrome dd so she should look extra adorable (and people should treat her better)

mha3484

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:39 pm

My oldest has a package of stuff to deal with in life. Also his next sibling down is 4 years younger so they don't really socialize like if they were closer in age. He definitely gets more material stuff. There is a feeling of guilt that he has it harder in life so how can I make it easier for him.

My younger kids don't have it easy either but they have each other and much easier social lives. So I think I don't feel like I need to compensate as much.

amother

Maple

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:46 pm

For sure!
She’s spoiled ~~rotten~~ lol!

*She’s not rotten ch’v, just adorable in how she squeezes my heart and manages to get rewarded a lot lol!

Last edited by amother on Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Magnolia

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 2:51 pm

I definitely do!

Sometimes it’s for special toys and sensory equipment other times it’s for nicer clothes and things like that…
I put in extra effort to make sure that everything fits nicely and they look cute and put together more than I would have done otherwise…
Don’t feel bad about it at all 😊

amother

Seashell

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 3:20 pm

I assume you don't mean therapies, out of network doctors, etc. In that vein, though, I spend to finance incentives that are big draws to really incentivise his behavior programs and to help him out of his comfort zone. And I agree that I will spend extra on things that will help him fit in.

But I also spend extra on things for siblings of his who are having a difficult time because of him. And to reward them for persevering through hard times with him or for actually taking charge of him when necessary or volunteered. And for when his needs take me completely away at times that are hard. Often this spending comes in the form of experiences with me, so it's not just throwing things at them, but it still costs.

amother

Cantaloupe

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 3:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

I spend more on him because he needs more. Nobody else needs so much therapy and tutors, etc.

I also tend to buy him things he wants (he doesn't ask for much really) whereas I might make the other kids do something to earn the things they want. But they have different capabilities and levels of understanding so I think it's only right.

amother

Mint

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 5:59 pm

A lot more toys then the others because we have lots more reward charts! Wink

amother

Daphne

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 8:51 pm

100%
My child is neurotypical but has a physical disability.
There’s a tendency to get dirty quicker so I’m replacing clothing more frequently.
I also buy more expensive clothing because it can be harder to find stuff that fits properly or that is adaptive when necessary.

amother

Marigold

Fri, May 17 2024, 5:15 am

I fill his needs. His needs are expensive.

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