Chizzuk needed - just found out

amother

Hosta

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:39 pm

You are a great mother and will continue to be. I am sure your DH must be nervous about finances and other things. He will come around. you need to take care of yourself. you might need to take in more house help. Do what you can to feel good.

mha3484

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:43 pm

I think a lot of women who have a child at this stage of life struggle with the child feeling like an only because the siblings are mostly out of the house. Hashem did a chesed and they will have each other. After the toddler years that feel super hard they will entertain each other which means you wont have to be the camp counselor.

I have 3 boys and then a girl and had another girl closer then I ideally wanted. I was very nervous about it but I am so grateful they have each other because boys leave the house so early and my daughter would have been a semi only child in middle school. BH she has a sister and wont be lonely.

Last edited by mha3484 on Mon, May 13 2024, 5:49 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Ginger

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:44 pm

Nothing like twins!
I understand the whole non supportive husband. I found out I was expecting after going through many years of ivf and my youngest was a few months old. My husband was really upset. B’h he loves him now and can’t imagine life without him!
Beshaa tova!

amother

SandyBrown

Mon, May 13 2024, 5:51 pm

amother Vermilion wrote:

I know a family with 8 kids. The oldest was 19 and engaged. The mother gave birth to TRIPLETS!!! And then they had 11 kids…

It’s common for women in their 40 to conceive multiples.
It’s common for husbands to flip out.
It’s also common for one embryo to dissolve so let’s hope that everything will be good.

You should feel good, your husband should pull himself together and everyone will be healthy and happy.

I assume you're talking about my cousins. Though the oldest was 17 I think and not engaged yet.

One of the triplets has Downs?

amother

DarkKhaki

Mon, May 13 2024, 7:51 pm

amother SandyBrown wrote:

I assume you're talking about my cousins. Though the oldest was 17 I think and not engaged yet.

One of the triplets has Downs?

Im not the one you quoted but it sounds familiar. The one I know had triplets right after her oldest got engaged.

amother

Banana

Mon, May 13 2024, 8:22 pm

amother SandyBrown wrote:

I assume you're talking about my cousins. Though the oldest was 17 I think and not engaged yet.

One of the triplets has Downs?

Featured in the circle recently?

amother

↑ Vermilion

Mon, May 13 2024, 8:47 pm

amother SandyBrown wrote:

I assume you're talking about my cousins. Though the oldest was 17 I think and not engaged yet.

One of the triplets has Downs?

No, the oldest was definitely engaged and I don’t remember hearing anything about one of the triplets having downs so I guess there’s another family that went from 8 to 11.
This family had the triplets many years ago, not recently.

amother

Mint

Mon, May 13 2024, 11:02 pm

Dont think anyone mentioned this yet OP, but IYH it should be great to have twins at the end. Often the youngest in the family is lonely and wishes for a younger sibling. But twins will entertain each other an will never be lonely. !

Light1234

Mon, May 13 2024, 11:08 pm

Bsha tova, it's wonderful news bli ein hera, at the end of the day it's all up to Hashem, clearly he loves you so much he wanted to surprise you, 💝

amother

↑ Phlox

Mon, May 13 2024, 11:14 pm

amother Black wrote:

Why is it irrelevant?

Yea, why is it irrelevant? Genuinely want to know if it was a bc "mistake" or she wasnt watching...

Rappel

Mon, May 13 2024, 11:22 pm

More good news: your twins will have each other's company, instead of being the lonely last child.

OP, I have a friend whom had twins while her oldest was in high school. Not parallel to your situation, h but do you want me to ask her what helps and what hurts in such situations? The little ladies are 2 years old now, so the family is breathing again, and they might have some perspective to share.

Beshaa tova!

amother

Acacia

Mon, May 13 2024, 11:53 pm

I had twins (not a grandmother tho, I was in my late 30s) but my husband was a nervous wreck and also jerk. The entire 9 months. It’s years later and whenever I think back to that time I still am hurt by the way he treated me and acted. On a good day he has has debilitating anxiety so this just triggered it- but I still can’t get past it. (No, therapy didn’t help so no need to suggest it).

That said , my twins are my joy in my life, so adorable , have each other to play with and have each others backs always , and they really complete our family. ❤️
I would do it all over again.
I didn’t have a nurse or any help at all and went back to my full time job when they were 2 months old. Even with working and pumping and doing everything myself, I more than survived.
You will too! Enjoy the ride , it’s awesome, truly.
Bsha tova and feel good!