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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Twins, Triplets, and more

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amother

↑ Dustypink

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:23 pm

When I was at a kimpeturin home, a grandma that had twins was there. Her oldest grandchild was 8 years old! She had a kallah at home then as well. She was at the kimpeturin home for 3 weeks.
OP, maybe that's an option for you as well.

amother

Ghostwhite

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:24 pm

At your age and stage you need all thee help you can get.

amother

Whitewash

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:32 pm

My twins were born when I was 40. Not the same situation as you, since my other kids were young but I was honestly devastated when I heard they were twins and cried for days. With time I became more comfortable and eventually somewhat excited. Fast forward a few years, I cannot imagine life without this blessing.

amother

Aster

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:38 pm

B’shaa Tova !!!
Hashem should send you lots of strength !

effess

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:54 pm

Hashem should send you tons of koach!!
Iyh they will both be healthy a go full term.
It’ll take a long time to digest, but you will.
They will bring so much bracha into your life!
Breathe….
Breathe again!

familyfirst

Sun, May 12 2024, 8:03 pm

Sending hugs

What a roller coaster of emotions!

When logic and emotions deplete you, hand it over to G-d and ask Him to take over. You’re the vessel for this blessing, but He is in charge.

Iyh you will get through this and May this brocha be a source of more brochos in a revealed way!!

You got this!!

(And ignore your husband’s attitude. Have no expectations so you won’t be disappointed. At the right time he will come around)

amother

Vermilion ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 8:17 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

At your age and stage you need all thee help you can get.

She has built in help!

amother

Clear ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 8:17 pm

Hi! I had twins recently and it’s the most amazing thing ever. When I found out I was freakingggg out!! I couldn’t imagine how I would be able to take care of two at the same time. BH they are good babies. HaShem gave you twins and remember he only gives you what you can handle. I honestly think that the perception of having twins and how hard is it is harder than the reality ( mine are still babies but at least for now)
People will offer to help you - do not deny help from anyone and you will be ok!
I suggest getting good baby swings that rock( major lifesavour)
Twin Z pillow ( for nursing or if bottle feeding to feed them both at same time)
Another key is keeping them on same schedule- makes your life much easier . When you feed one - feed the other( even if you have to wake him)
That’s my advice for now as a twin mom but I’m telling you it will be easier than you think. Hope you have an easy pregnancy and healthy babies !

amother

↑ Clear ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 8:21 pm

When I found out I was having twins it was a shock and took my about 3 months to process mentally. I wouldn’t think about it because I would get too stressed and get more nauseous than I was already. If you are not expecting it , it’s a shock. Give your husband some time to process and I’m sure he will come around and realize what an amazing bracha

amother

↑ Vermilion ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 8:21 pm

I’m sorry your husband is being difficult.
Mine gets like that too and it’s really hard but eventually it passes.
I mean it’s not like you made yourself pregnant! He can only be upset with himself. It couldn’t have happened without him!
You might think you’re too old but Hashem doesn’t think so. If you would be too old you wouldn’t be able to get pregnant anymore.

amother

↑ Foxglove

Sun, May 12 2024, 10:35 pm

amother Clear wrote:

Which baby swing do you have? I‘m looking to buy one.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, May 12 2024, 10:58 pm

You might be a grandmother pratically speaking, but I don't think you're so old in the scheme of things. Lots of people have babies into their 40s, and most are still in the motherhood phase rather than the grandmother phase.

amother

Clematis

Sun, May 12 2024, 10:58 pm

Wishing you only the best.
When there is a large age gap, twins may be helpful. Otherwise the youngest gets lonely!
Everyone should be healthy and well!!

amother

Nemesia

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:25 pm

Omg I wish! I always wanted multiples!!! So exciting

amother

↑ Clear

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:37 pm

amother Foxglove wrote:

Which baby swing do you have? I‘m looking to buy one.

I have the 4moms swing ( it’s expensive so I bought it second hand) and both of my babies love it. They fall asleep in it during the day and love getting rocked Smile

( there are some kids who don’t like it so much so maybe you can try it out before to see if they do..)

amother

Jade

Mon, May 13 2024, 3:35 am

not that this helps you at all but I wish I was in your position! I'm in my 40's and want more so badly! I had 2 miscarriages in my 40's. May your babies be healthy and bring joy to your family!

amother

↑ Vermilion ↓

Mon, May 13 2024, 3:50 am

I know a family with 8 kids. The oldest was 19 and engaged. The mother gave birth to TRIPLETS!!! And then they had 11 kids…

It’s common for women in their 40 to conceive multiples.
It’s common for husbands to flip out.
It’s also common for one embryo to dissolve so let’s hope that everything will be good.

You should feel good, your husband should pull himself together and everyone will be healthy and happy.

amother

Ruby

Mon, May 13 2024, 4:57 am

For chizuk, I'd say (similar to what I'd tell myself)
Try to see deeper to your dh's, yes quite frankly acting like a jerk, but in this way. (The following here is taken from classes by Alison Armstrong) that his frustration, I believe, stems from his most deep Innate desire to make you happy, & to be an awesome protector & provider. Just like you're scared, he is to. But men process vulnerabilities differently.

Women need to not emasculate men & expect them to talk & engage like women. He's processing too, & may need a lot of time, & wise, non-patronizing encouragement - giving kavod is a great way - as he deals with probably now perceiving a guenuine obstacle to being the dh & father that he wants to be. Often it's a money related concern (the klala given to man is a real one) but spills over into many areas.

I've seen this with my own dh. As women we love to share our vulnerabilities & to talk all about it with with descriptions full of nuance, & then we feel better.

Men feel deeply too! but they process differently, a man might shut down, need space, & out of his love for his dw & not wanting to take it out on his dw, might be protective of his feelings being shared openly as women do. He needs to be respected for how he processes it too & might be jerk-like to a women who inadvertently emasculating him, insulting him as she's just trying to be close.

And so that's my chizuk here, because if something enhances shalom bayis, there are resoviours of chizuk to be found there.

Beshesha tova & hatzlacha raba!!!

B'Syata D'Shmya

Mon, May 13 2024, 7:00 am

I totally understand your feelings. Of course, logically we know this is a bracha and Hashem has lots of confidence in you!! He makes no mistakes.
You know your husband will come around, and get excited too.
Your instincts will kick in and your older kids will help a bit, Hashem will help you manage. May you have a healthy pregnancy, an easy delivery and two healthy babies. May Hashem give you everything you need to raise them to Torah-Jews.
You must be something special to get this.

amother

↑ Vermilion ↓

Mon, May 13 2024, 7:11 am

I’m a little jealous of you.
I’m probably close to 10 years older than you are and I WISHHH some sort of mistake would happen like that to me (even though it would probably cost me my marriage).
But I understand that this is shocking and overwhelming right now. Hugs 🥰

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