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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Twins, Triplets, and more
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amother
OP
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 Sun, May 12 2024, 7:14 pm
Im bh a young grandmother, low 40s. My youngest child is 5. I was shocked to find out I was expecting. I got warmed up to the idea and then had my first ob appointment and found it....I'm expecting two!
It's a mixed ride. I'm trying to be positive and optimistic but it's a struggle. Dh is upset and acting like a jerk. He's not too supportive or helpful at the best of times, personality issues plus health issues. I have a child in shidduchim, I work full time, I don't see how my life will be able to continue as remotely close to normal for at least a year after birth...
I'm scared. Am I too old for this. Bh I'm young at heart and in good health...
Chizzuk please...
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amother
Pear
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Sun, May 12 2024, 7:21 pm
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Oh wow!! Congratulations!! May hashem send you a lot of koach!!
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amother
Oxfordblue
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Sun, May 12 2024, 7:23 pm
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I hope at your age you will be able to carry both of them for as long as possible, you might need to start taking it easy. Bshaah tova!!
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amother
Sunflower
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Sun, May 12 2024, 7:24 pm
I was 47 and my youngest was 9. I sobbed through the whole pregnancy begging Hashem to just give the baby to someone else. I had a few grandkids already and was so done having kids. I hated when people told me - this baby will keep you young. You will enjoy him etc. etc
What can I say. He’s 3 years old and I can not get enough of him. It’s the first time I’m taking care of a baby/child without a 2 year old on top or being pregnant. I know it’s not forever and I never thought I would say it but he’s growing up too fast.
As far as twins - it would have been much easier if he would have a built in playmates because the siblings above them are too old…
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amother
Jasmine
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Sun, May 12 2024, 7:25 pm
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Wow!! What a surprise! IY"H you should all be healthy. IY"H your kids will be excited and supportive.
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amother
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Sun, May 12 2024, 7:35 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Im bh a young grandmother, low 40s. My youngest child is 5. I was shocked to find out I was expecting. I got warmed up to the idea and then had my first ob appointment and found it....I'm expecting two!
It's a mixed ride. I'm trying to be positive and optimistic but it's a struggle. Dh is upset and acting like a jerk. He's not too supportive or helpful at the best of times, personality issues plus health issues. I have a child in shidduchim, I work full time, I don't see how my life will be able to continue as remotely close to normal for at least a year after birth...
I'm scared. Am I too old for this. Bh I'm young at heart and in good health...
Chizzuk please... |
I’m almost due with my twins. I‘m in a totally different situation, I‘m much younger but my older kids are all still very young and I had my fair share of freak outs over how I will manage it all.
It has been a journey of letting go and letting Gd take over. Hashem has a plan, this is what I keep repeating to myself over and over again. I‘m trying to get myself as much help as possible in oder to stay sane, even if it means using up our savings. Are you older children able to help with the twins?
If husband is not willing to carry his share, you should definitely look into a night nanny and more help during the day.
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amother
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Sun, May 12 2024, 7:41 pm
OP, my MIL had twins at about age 40, her youngest before was 7 years old! They're teens now and she says that she's still a kimpeturin! So it will definitely take more than a year for your life to start going back to somewhat of normalcy.
She had round the clock help, it was the only way she was able to survive it.
Loads of luck & b'sha tova. Take good care of yourself.
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joonabug
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Sun, May 12 2024, 7:42 pm
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wow, its def gonna be hard but it really iyH will be the biggest blessing. I have a little brother who was born when the youngest in my family was 5 and he really is growing up in a way like he is an only child, he is always bored and in constant need of entertainment, all his friends have lots of siblings who they always have to hang out with and he is always alone bored. I also think he is missing some social skills just from growing up kind of alone. my mother really didnt feel like she could have another child right after him but she always says she regrets it. while its going to be super hard for you iyH your kids will have a built in best friend and you wont have to constantly be entertaining them. bshaa tova!
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amother
Mintcream
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Sun, May 12 2024, 8:21 pm
As a mom of twins I was young when I had them but am your approx your age now..... it's something really big to digest, just take it one day at a time! you need to take care of yourself a bit more than a single especially at your age. Focus on the pregnancy for now like using a high risk Dr. and eating and staying healthy. Advice for after is to take as much help as possible!!!! I think I worried the whole pregnancy for the wrong things, I know it's a very anxious time but in reality it was worry for naught....
As much as a single baby is a wonderous miracle, twins are so much more! I found the more help I had the more I was able to enjoy this bracha.
You should have an easy pregnancy and carry them to term healthy and hashem should give you the koach, and means to raise them easily with loads of nachas!
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amother
Raspberry
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Sun, May 12 2024, 8:26 pm
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Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
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ShishKabob
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Sun, May 12 2024, 8:29 pm
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This is what I was thinking as well. I can't imagine all the conflicting emotions that you are going through now. Wishing you a calm, pleasant and rewarding journey. May Hashem give you lots of strength physically and emotionally. Tight hugs!!
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amother
Steelblue
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Sun, May 12 2024, 8:43 pm
I just want to say that although it’s huge and unexpected, without dh support which must be murder, reading between your lines- your young at heart comes thru! Hashem is giving you these children and will give you all the koach to raise them and get so much joy and Nachas from them!
I was born (as a surprise) when my mother was 43 and my sister at 44. It was after a long break, and I’m so grateful we had each other!! We definitely kept them young at heart, our older siblings adored us, and we LOVED our aunt status and caring for our nieces & nephews. We brought and bring our parents lots of Nachas bh!
May you see and feel the Bracha and have all the support you need to raise them with joy!
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amother
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Sun, May 12 2024, 8:50 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Im bh a young grandmother, low 40s. My youngest child is 5. I was shocked to find out I was expecting. I got warmed up to the idea and then had my first ob appointment and found it....I'm expecting two!
It's a mixed ride. I'm trying to be positive and optimistic but it's a struggle. Dh is upset and acting like a jerk. He's not too supportive or helpful at the best of times, personality issues plus health issues. I have a child in shidduchim, I work full time, I don't see how my life will be able to continue as remotely close to normal for at least a year after birth...
I'm scared. Am I too old for this. Bh I'm young at heart and in good health...
Chizzuk please... |
what do you mean you were shocked? were you taking anything/ doing any form of BC?
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amother
Cognac
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Sun, May 12 2024, 8:57 pm
This is a horrible thing to say!
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amother
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Sun, May 12 2024, 10:11 pm
Welcome to the club! It’s loads of fun!!! I’m way younger than you but you’ll get thru this.
If you’re in nyc try to get aides to help you. See if you can get on a twins WhatsApp chat in your neighborhood.
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amother
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Sun, May 12 2024, 10:13 pm
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You should slow down. Bh I didn’t have bed rest and went to full term but it’s worth it.
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amother
Sand
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Sun, May 12 2024, 10:15 pm
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Wow that's awesome and can be overwhelming at the same time. The hard years will pass and you will have loads of bracha. Try to get as much help as can.. Hatzlacha rabba
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amother
Seashell
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Sun, May 12 2024, 10:17 pm
The good news is- ppl will help much more and justify hired help that much more bc it’s twins lol! If it was just one- you’d still be tied down. But you’d be just like everyone else so you can’t complain or get special treatment! Bshaah tova 
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