5yo gets so silly with chesed/helping girls

amother

OP ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:33 am

How am I supposed to deal with my 5yo DD who consistently gets silly and hyper whenever we have a helping/chesed girl or babysitter come over?
She's the oldest, her 3yo brother is fine and the baby is great too. We've had help for like 3 years now and no matter who it is, she just ends up saying silly/rude things, touching them/their hair, not listening, shouting etc. It is obviously worse when they play at home, but still happens if they go out to a park for a walk.
This isn't generally an issue in school, she's very well-behaved and is seen as mature. The same issue does occasionally crop up around my family. Personal space is generally a bit of an issue though, not the silliness.
Any ideas?

amother

↑ OP

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:43 am

amother Sunflower wrote:

How well does she know the girls? My niece of this age gets like this when she feels awkward or uncomfortable.

We had the same girls for 3 years straight...

oneofakind

Sun, May 12 2024, 8:58 am

Maybe she wants there attention and doesn't know how to get it. Do a role play with her about how to get the older girls to view her as a big girl who wants to play or schmooze.

amother

Aqua

Sun, May 12 2024, 9:00 am

I’d have a talk with her. Also suggest ways she can spend time with the girl that is enjoyable for her. Also give the girl ideas. I’d also make a chart any time she’s not silly/ doesn’t touch when people come over she’ll get a sticker and earn a prize after a certain amount.

It sounds like attention seeking behavior. Shes old enough to problem solve with you.

mummiedearest

Sun, May 12 2024, 9:49 am

She’s five. Silliness is part of childhood, and kids will let that out with people who are open to it. It’s possible that she does it for attention, but if it’s positive attention and everyone’s happy with that, it’s not necessarily an issue. Personal space is not silliness, so treat it differently. Does the chessed girl have notably different hair than everyone in the family? Some kids are going to want to touch that. If you consider it inappropriate or the chessed girl does, find a way to enforce not touching. If she’s known the girl for three years, she may just be like an aunt to her- touching an aunt is not touching a Morah. Not listening- sounds like the chessed girl needs some training. Five year olds test boundaries and get away with anything they can. Your daughter sounds normal and fun, tbh. She has spunk. If you’re upset by these behaviors, team up with the chessed girl to CONSISTENTLY enforce rules. The second she lets up o it, your dd will take advantage. And that is 100% normal.