Drinks | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:29 pm

My 13 year old son insists that "everyone " let's their kids take whatever drinks they want whenever they want.
I disagreed and told him I will ask around. We have a water cooler amd I don't let my kids kist take juice or soda from the fridge. I do let them have soda by the shabbos meal by thr main course.

Am I abnormal? It's not just for health reasons (although that's primary), I also can't deal with stickiness and spillage.

amother

Snapdragon ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:38 pm

How old is he?
I don’t even keep soda in my house. It’s milk and water during the week. Seltzer on Shabbat. A cup of soda or two at a kiddush or if we are having a meal where it is being served. Once in a while we have juice.
So basically since they aren’t around to begin with I’m not continuously saying no….
But my kids are still young (oldest is 8).

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:42 pm

amother Snapdragon wrote:

I guess it's different because I'm drinking my Snapple in front of him (I cant tolerate water) while telling him he has to have water during the week

Goody2shoes

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

I guess it's different because in drinking my Snapple in front of him while telling him he has to have water during the week

Why on earth are you doing that?

amother

Amaranthus ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

I guess it's different because I'm drinking my Snapple in front of him (I cant tolerate water) while telling him he has to have water during the week

Yeah that's pretty yucky. I understand where he is coming from.

amother

↑ Gardenia ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

I guess it's different because I'm drinking my Snapple in front of him (I cant tolerate water) while telling him he has to have water during the week

Ok this is a problem. Why cant u tolerate water? Or u just don’t like it? Its hard to parent and be a hypocrite. Maybe first work on yourself find alternatives and model healthy behavior.

peachmommy

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:48 pm

I really think if you want to have certain health standards, you just have to have those products in the house and NOT have around what you don't want them to eat. Constantly saying no to food that is inches away from your kids can be controlling and is unhealthy. Just don't have it around.. and, er.. don't drink in front of them (unless of course your willing to share)

amother

Eggshell ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:49 pm

We almost never have soda in the house.

I buy juice for Shabbos. If there's any left after Shabbos, they need to ask (but I almost always will say yes). Same for making their own lemonade, iced tea, etc.

Water, seltzer (don't usually have though) and lemon water they don't need to ask.

But I only drink water so there is no resentment.

ETA: Over a certain age (usually Bar/Bas Mitzvah) they don't need to ask.

amother

Iris

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:52 pm

I don't regularly stock soda. On the rare occasion that we have a bottle (like one that was bought for a birthday or some other celebration), of course my kids need permission to take. The only juice we regularly stock is grape (for kiddush), and my kids would never take without asking.
I look at soda and juice like candy and my kids know that. It's only logical to them to ask.

But of course my husband and I only drink water (sometimes with a splash of lemon juice) or seltzer.

amother

Apricot ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:52 pm

We have soda on shabbos only.
My kids drink mostly water even if they can have juice or lemonade. Most of my kids only like diluted juice, they mix a bit of OJ with a cup of seltzer. They generally have less then a cup of juice a day.
I find that if the kids know that it's always there & available, they want it & drink it less.
Drinking snapple & not allowing kids to have, is not okay.
And your son is 13, he's past the age of being made to drink water only.

amother

↑ Snapdragon

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

I guess it's different because I'm drinking my Snapple in front of him (I cant tolerate water) while telling him he has to have water during the week

Yeah that’s really not nice at all.
Put yourself in his position and really think about how you’d feel.

amother

↑ Antiquewhite

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

I guess it's different because I'm drinking my Snapple in front of him (I cant tolerate water) while telling him he has to have water during the week

You're being hypocritical to him and he can't handle it. This is not going to go well in any area.

amother

Magnolia ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 8:59 pm

We also have water and seltzer during the week. I actually don't agree that a parent can't do something kids can't do. I do many things they can't. And I constantly tell them the reasons I don't allow it and that when they are adults they will decide if they want to do that thing. I don't find it hypocritical. Do you go to sleep at 7 just because you make your child go to sleep then? Do you wear a bib just because you make your child wear one? Do you sit in a stroller on far walks just because you make your child sit in one? Do you serve your 13 cups of alcohol just because you drink? Kids understand adults have different rules when it comes to health and safety and that's fine.

amother

↑ Apricot ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 9:02 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

The examples you gave, are examples that are age appropriate for their specific age.
An adult drinking snapple while forbidding their teens from drinking snapple, has nothing to do with age appropriate & is just hypocritical and really controlling.
That's really inappropriate of a parent to do.
There is no valid reason why mom can drink snapple & kid may not.

familyfirst

Sat, May 11 2024, 9:02 pm

We used Tim have soda on Shabbos to serve at the meal. As soon as the meal was over I literally poured the soda down the drain. Was never a temptation.

Now we ditched the soda completely. Only serve water. Guests are fine!!