Lazy parenting | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children

Lazy parenting

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amother

Fri, May 10 2024, 8:52 am

I believe that pacifiers and screens both have similar jobs. They are both excuses for parenting.

Baby crying? Plug baby's mouth with a pacifier. Ahhh. Quiet. Bliss.

Kids whining? Sit them in front of a screen. Ahhh. Quiet. Bliss.

And I'm ready for any tomatoes. But I think deep down, you know the truth. Pacifiers and screens are excuses for parenting.

amother

Vermilion

Fri, May 10 2024, 8:53 am

Pacifiers are totally different than screens. It's a little strange to even compare them.

116

amother

Peony

Fri, May 10 2024, 8:55 am

Screens yes. Pacifiers no. Kids need it for different reasons. It’s not only used to shut a kid up and I agree sticking it in instead of figuring out what your kid needs is wrong.

amother

Cornsilk ↓

Fri, May 10 2024, 8:57 am

I don’t use any. No pacifiers and no screens here. But I have a hard time with other parenting issues that you also might deem lazy.
And sometimes lazy is good, gives you a chance to rejuvenate and pick your battles.

zaq

Fri, May 10 2024, 8:59 am

Believe what you want. Some people have livings to make, lives to live, households to run, and others to look after, and cannot afford to be slaves to their infants. If that's lazy in your book, so be it.

TravelHearter

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:07 am

How are pacifiers an excuse? What if they calm a baby down? Babies have a sucking reflex, even when they are not hungry.

amother

Lilac ↓

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:08 am

A pacifier is not even remotely in similar category as screen time. A pacifier is not used to "shut up" the baby. A paci is actually beneficial for babies, and is recommended for prevention of SIDS r'l.
Why is it lazy parenting for a baby to have something soothing instead of just crying non stop? Nothing lazy about that.

justforfun87

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:09 am

Do you nurse your babies? After 30 minutes of suckling sometimes they need a paci. Screens, I agree with you. I also use screens to parent my children sometimes.

watergirl

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:10 am

I had kids before my older sister. She said the same thing about most things I did with my kids. The baby swing? She called it the neglecto-chair. She swore how she'd never do the things I did. And then she did all of them. Loved that.

ShishKabob

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:12 am

TravelHearter wrote:

How are pacifiers an excuse? What if they calm a baby down? Babies have a sucking reflex, even when they are not hungry.

This, is it now a crime to find tools to soothe our children? Really?

mizle10

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:14 am

A pacifier soothes
A screen distracts

amother

↑ Cornsilk

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:16 am

watergirl wrote:

I didn’t use a swing either but have never discussed any of this with anybody. It’s just how I do things and no need to tell someone else how to do their things. Feels self-righteous.

amother

Seafoam

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:34 am

Just because it makes things easier doesn't mean it's "lazy."

amother

Buttercup

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:40 am

Come on. When are we going to stop judging other peoples parenting??
During sefira?

amother

Lightgray ↓

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:42 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm the queen of laziness!!! King

amother

Sapphire

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:48 am

I would say screens can be more desperate then lazy.

I hate screens and really am opposed to using them.. however the rare times that I will capitulate are NOT when I just need to go take a nap and sunbathe on my porch.

its when the kids are home sick on top of my head for HOURS my house is flying, im trying to get some work in etc..

gosh if thats how you define lazy - im scared to hear your busy

amother

Hyssop

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:54 am

Ridiculous about pacifiers. Babies have an instinctive need to suck even when they're not hungry. There are 3 ways to meet this need. Breast (not super practical to constantly have a baby on the breast if you have other kids, work, etc), thumb (good luck getting them to stop when they get too old for that), or pacifier. Not all babies go for pacifiers, you can't always help that, but it's definitely the best way to meet that instinctive sucking need under 1.

Regarding screens, you're 100% right, and before anyone calls me mean and judgmental, I say that as someone who allows an amount of screen time that would horrify most mothers on this site. But I know it's not good and it's 100% my own laziness and struggle to do the hard work of cutting back, both in terms of the fight it will cause, and the amount of me-time I will lose. I don't think zero screens is necessarily a goal, there is good to be had. But I should have been way more careful, and yes, way less lazy, because it's at problematic levels now. Best to be careful about it from the get go.

flowerpower

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:54 am

A pacifier is one of the best inventions out there for infants. Good bless those cranky babies that calm down with it. It can be called lazy parenting for a 3 year old to have one outdoors in the park or while riding her scooter. At that age she can be taught that she can get it in bed only

Regarding the screens- it’s called sanity. Sometimes an overworked exhausted mom just needs a break for a few minutes.

amother

Viola ↓

Fri, May 10 2024, 9:57 am

Some adults are lazy when they have nothing to do they waste time on imamother posting random ideas!
I'm a lazy adult! LOL

amother

Lightcoral

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:19 am

amother OP wrote:

Oh I have another to add
A child falls and cry’s, mom pick up kisses the child. Ahhh quite. Bliss
Lazy mother why didn’t she let her child cry on the floor.

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