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-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:04 pm
It happens sometimes that another mom tells her kid off for doing something inconsiderate to me, and my instinct is to say, it's ok I don't mind (because I don't), but I wonder if I'm undermining the mom's discipline.
For example: A 5 year old boy is running around being a bit too wild near other people and his mom keeps warning him to watch out for people. Then he crashes into me but it doesn't hurt me. The mom tells him off and the kid looks embarrassed and guilty. I want to say, it's ok it didn't hurt, but the mom is saying "look you hurt someone that's why you can't run around wildly!" (Or something to that effect.) So if I contradict her by saying it didn't hurt and I don't mind, is that undermining her discipline or giving the same courtesy I would to an adult who was embarrassed for making a mistake?
What do you think?
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ShishKabob
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:05 pm
With a child I would bend down and look them in the eye and say: I'm sure you didn't mean to do this and you will be more careful next time.
Like that you are being nice to the child while reinforcing the mothers discipline but in a gentle way.
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amother
Blue
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:08 pm
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Don’t say anything she’s teaching him about personal space and hurting people. It’s about teaching him it doesn’t matter if you were hurt or not.
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amother
Anemone
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:11 pm
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Let his mother do her thing.
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amother
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:17 pm
| amother Blue wrote: | | Don’t say anything she’s teaching him about personal space and hurting people. It’s about teaching him it doesn’t matter if you were hurt or not. |
I just feel a little mean letting him think he hurt me when he totally didn't. Especially when I see the kid feels bad.
Also, isn't saying "it's ok" modelling being gracious when someone is accidentally inconsiderate? (Which is also good to teach him.)
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bakingmom
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:57 pm
You could say BH it didnt hurt me this time, but it could have so you should be more careful.
That way you are letting the child know that you are not hurt, without undermining the message that the mother is trying to give.
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