Whats more abusive...?

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:54 am

Leaving kids to cry for a few minutes so they learn how to fall asleep or bringing children to megilla and making them sit in silence throughout. Just curious.

scruffy

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:56 am

These are totally unrelated scenarios. I'm sure you're trying to draw a parallel here, but can't figure it out.

amother

Phlox

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:58 am

My answer:
Why in heaven’s name are you using word “abuse” for either of these scenarios?

Hashem yishmor.

You might or might not agree with one’s parenting style. But B”H neither of these is in any realm nor world of “abuse”.

amother

Plum

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:11 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

This!
Neither are ABUSIVE!

amother

↑ Hydrangea

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:15 pm

Can we stop calling all parenting practices that are different than your own abuse?

Cheiny

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Leaving kids to cry for a few minutes so they learn how to fall asleep or bringing children to megilla and making them sit in silence throughout. Just curious.

I don’t think you have a true understanding of the word “abusive.” It’s thrown around somewhat freely sometimes, but neither of what you mentioned is abusive.

amother

Arcticblue

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:55 pm

My youngest is 6. He was able to sit quietly through megillah both at night and in the morning. He had his own megillah that he made in school to look at, his gragger that he also made in school to shake at every Haman, and lollipops to keep his mouth busy. He sat right next to me and I made sure that he didn't bother anyone around us. When he got a little fidgety towards the end I half hugged him and he snuggled into my side. Does any of that sound abusive to you, OP?

It's been a while since I had to sleep train anyone, but a few minutes of crying isn't a big deal.

miami85

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:32 pm

Apples to oranges much?

Letting kids cry for a few minutes isn't necessarily abusive if it is "teaching" and bringing a child who wanted to try being quiet for the megillah is also a teaching experience.

Teaching isn't necessarily abusive if it is within a developmental norm.

You don't CIO with a 4 week old, but you can with a 4 month old.
You don't bring a 2 year old to megillah but you can a 4 year old who has been to school and learned what to do.

lucky14

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:36 pm

Maybe her point is that neither ate actually abusive but some people on this site are making them out to be? Maybe she’s pointing out the extreme way people talk about things here sometimes?

(And no I don’t agree with doing either of these things. But abuse is a strong word).