E-mail from seminary

amother

Jasmine

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 7:07 pm

amother Begonia wrote:

I'm also feeling very funny about this email. Is this how these seminaries operate? Holding our daughters' happiness hostage for $4,500 on the spot?

Drama queen much? If your daughter's entire happiness hinges upon getting into a specific seminary, something is very wrong and I'll bet her upbringing has something to do with it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 8:02 pm

gottago wrote:

They do this when they really really want your daughter. They will most likely incentivize you with a generous scholarship, too.
Consider it a compliment and even if you don't respond, you can assume she'll get in.

as far as I know all the girls in DD school who applied got this e-mail

amother

Dimgray

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 9:08 pm

amother Begonia wrote:

The problem is, you can't really say that nowadays. I think there are two girls in my daughter's entire grade who are not going to seminary. You can't tell me they aren't making money hand over fist on the backs of cash strapped parents, via this luxury-turned-necessity.

Don't cry me a river for parents who don't know how to say no.

amother

Periwinkle

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 9:18 pm

You can do the correct thing and shoot yourself (and DD) in the foot, or you can sign her up and let the Vaad take care of its own problems.
What you don’t realize is that girls for whom this seminary is a first choice, and whose parents got this email, are not fixing the system for the Vaad. They are jumping at the chance to get their daughters in, and are happily sending in the registration and cc form.
The seminary coordinator at her school is telling you not to send it in because it’s not a good look for the school if parents play along with the seminary’s underhandedness. Are you there to maintain the school’s image or to prevent your DD from being waitlisted?
If it was me, I’d go with making my DD happy. Goodness knows we spend enough money and anxiety on seminary, I would do anything to make it smoother. Let the Vaad take it up with the seminary.

B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 10:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

We got an e-mail from one of the seminaries we applied my daughter to that I think is utterly inappropriate. Basically says that there are limited slots ad limited scholarships that go fast. Answers will be given on March 2, and it is a very stressful time.
There ss an optional form to be sent in by Feb 22 pre-committing to send to this sem IF she is accepted, and insinuating that it will help toward acceptance if filled out. Askes for CC number so they will charge the $4500 deposit on March 1 if she is accepted and there is no getting that back.

Isn's this against the vaad? I feel very not good about the e-mail. It is my daughter's first choice, but still......

Perhaps they were hacked?
You never send cc info that way.

amother

Orchid

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 10:47 pm

farm wrote:

I’m confused what benefit there is to the girl (unless she is hoping for a significant scholarship). Seems the only benefit is on the seminary’s end.

The problem is that most girls apply to 2/3 seminaries. So one girl can get into all three and then other girls have to wait for the next round of acceptances. Also, then the schools she rejects have to start accepting again.

This gives them a leg up so they know anyone who’s giving a deposit is choosing them as first choice.

It’s just not so fair because it only works for one school at a time. Also if I apply to A, B, C and they all have this rule. I choose to sign this form for a but don’t get in, then I may lose my slot at b because it went to someone who pre confirmed.

That being said this was always done just more under the radar, my principal knew which was our top choice and let us know she would share that with them so we had higher chance to get in.

amother

Azure

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 10:54 pm

So for those of us panicking that we got no letter, can you share which seminary. I live in Lakewood and never heard of such a thing.
Is it a new sem that’s trying to grab the girls they want?
I thought all answers come out same time?

amother

Quince

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 10:57 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

This reminds me a little of the matching process for internship.

I don’t know how match day works in other countries but in Canada on match day, those matched only get one slot since they have to rate them ahead. As opposed to sem, one girl can get 3 slots and others are waitlisted waited for the ones with multiple slots to pick…

Princess23

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 11:01 pm

amother Birch wrote:

In an ideal world, they would admit all qualified applicants and finances wouldn’t be a barrier.
They are saying to your DD, we want you. Commit and the seat is yours. If not, we will not reject (or waitlist another girl and give her the spot)
We need you to commit with money because too often a girl says yes and then gets a different offer and takes that other one and now they rejected a girl they would otherwise have not rejected. They are also saying Seminary is a luxury and is expensive, if you don’t have the means to pay, don’t count on aid and don’t buy it. One shouldn’t buy a pair of expensive shoes and take them out of inventory and hold them until they are no longer in style and then say to the store, well I want them and can’t pay-oh but now nobody else wants them either so give me a sale price.
You can’t buy a house without a deposit. If you see one you want and it is going fast, you can’t say to the seller, hold it for me while I try to get a down payment and mortgage, and don’t give it to the other buyers.

My only issue is if answers come out a specific date, I see the benefit of this but it is not playing by the established rules and it’s going to be unfair to some part of the population.

This sums up a business mindset and yes seminary is a business unfortunately.

amother

Viola ↓

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 11:02 pm

gottago wrote:

No. This sounds very much like a generic message they sent to every applicant. This is in no way shape or form saying they want your daughter. They are just saying IF they want your daughter and she gives a deposit NOW, she will get in.

CPenzias

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 11:07 pm

amother Dimgray wrote:

Don't cry me a river for parents who don't know how to say no.

Are you kidding? I'm so grateful that my son wants to go to Israel next year. It will be so good for him iyh. My year in Israel was so positive. It's not a matter of yes or no. This can shape your child's future forever. It's going to be hard to pay for but worth it

amother

↑ Viola ↓

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 11:08 pm

I got a phone call last year a bit before acceptance day, saying they want my DD and if I accept already now can get a big discount. It wasn't her first choice so we didn't accept but waited till acceptance day to see what would be.
This doesn't sound like that. I think that was ok to do and actually a smart move as it was a new place and they weren't pressuring with a deposit, just giving a good incentive. And we knew she would still have the spot at acceptance day.
This letter your sem sent out seems very strange. As mentioned above "gaming the system". Most girls don't want to just accept without knowing who else is going. It's a huge part of the decision making! this is taking that away (if she gets accepted and you gave early deposit)

amother

Wandflower ↓

Mon, Feb 19 2024, 11:57 pm

It is a generic letter sent to all applicants. They know they are not our first choice and we got the email too. We did have another seminary reach out to us privately but they were much more nuanced and mentchlich in tone. I was not thrilled with the above email either.