How do you handle kids that overeat?

amother

DarkGreen

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 9:21 am

I wldnt let my kids grab food - if they were grabbing with their hands I wld admonish them and make them use a serving platter or fork - I always do individual plates for everything. Then Im happy to serve seconds/ thirds if they ate their vegetable or fruit portions first. I only allow one cup apple juice by supper if they want more they switch to water for the rest of the meal.

Maybe do a mock etiquette class have him model you or someone he trusts to teach him how to sit and eat properly so he will at least stop getting negative comments from his friends

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 9:23 am

My 12 year old brother is like this. He's pre-diabetic now. My parents looked the other way and had a very rude awakening. They had a serious conversation with him and now limit the garbage that he eats and he goes to a nutritionist to learn about healthy eating habits. They make special food for him that he likes to make it easier for him

My 6 year old is also like this. I started having healthy alternatives like fruit and vegetables and I don't let anyone refill more than half a portion size. When they come home from school, I make sure there is cut up fruit. If he says he is still hungry after eating a portion and a half, there is a lot of fruit and vegetables and I'll gladly peel/cut it.

I apply the rules to everyone equally and we all eat a lot more fruits and vegetables now. It's working to a degree.

We also encourage them to stop eating when they are full before they can't breath. My kid also loves food so much that he wants to eat everything. It's hard to make them slow down and stop. He's slowed down on the weight gain.

amother

↑ Skyblue ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 9:25 am

amother DarkMagenta wrote:

Can you please elaborate . Who do you go to and what is LDN?

For my child it ended up being part of their pandas. A kind of ocd if you will. Apparently this is quite common in this population. I still believe there is a thyroid/cortisol/gut dysbiosis piece, but no doctors were being helpful in getting to the bottom of it. We did a lot of other treatment for pandas and they helped a bit with this symptom but not enough.

We use a homeopathy practice that specializes in pandas and pans. So they match a remedy to the totality of her symptoms. And as many of the other symptoms fade away, this is also improving.

Ldn is low dose naltrexone, it's a very safe drug that's used in very low doses off label to modulate the immune system and help with overall inflammation and fight-flight issues. It also acts on the opiate system so that it can help modulate food cravings.

Other things I noticed that help are berberine, Inositol and phospatidylserine, because they act on blood sugar and cortisol.

Homeopathy and ldn can help even if your kid doesn't have pandas

amother

Brown

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 9:34 am

Op, you sound like such a wonderful, caring mother! I love how you want to help your son without overstepping boundaries or doing any emotional damage. My son is also gaining weight rapidly. He doesn’t eat so much , but he is a major “couch potato.” He doesn’t like to move at all. No sports, no going outside, he’s just comfortable sitting on the couch all day reading books/listening to music. It’s very frustrating to me. His clothes don’t fit and he doesn’t SEE it. He’s in complete denial. I try so hard to keep quiet, but at certain times I’ll explode and feel rly bad about it. I know it’s not helping anyone! Just makes me so aggravated that he doesn’t see it on himself and he doesn’t want to change at all.

Phoebe31

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 9:36 am

My 8 year old has started eating a lot, I do not make it about the weight though but about her listening to her body. (she has ADHD) You mentioned he had 3 turkey sandwiches, did you make those for him? if yes, limit it to one, if he is still hungry he can have more turkey plain or sliced vegetables.
I make what we need for dinner, if there is a lot more than needed I try to put it away for lunch the next day. I do not limit seconds but third is a bit excessive.
Don't make him crazy about the amount he eats, just make sure he checks in with himself if he is full and make sure you arent making it about weight. Would you say no to something he asks for but say yes to thinner child? If yes, then it is about weight, not about how much he is eating.
Also, I think you need to reinforce in him that he is a good person and not 'gross' like those around him are telling him he is, poor kid is being bullied, its your job to stand up for him! Make sure you have a conversation with people who are saying these things.

amother

Stone ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 9:49 am

That sounds like binge eating disorder. It's not something to ignore. It's something which needs treatment, the sooner the better.

The posters who say not to pressure him or make him feel bad are right. All that will do is make him feel worse and make the eating disorder worse. On the other hand, this isn't mild overeating or weight gain which should be ignored and embraced with a "health at any size" approach. Please get yourself professional guidance from an eating disorder therapist or get him into therapy with a specialist (NOT whoever is first available at the local clinic.)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 9:55 am

He isn't ADHD no he's very calm mild mannered Straight A kid.
It's not about his food choices he eats very healthy. He doesnt really eat sugar other than normal when the other kids have .
He loves healthy food. He just eats too much too often. The other kids will take a ziplock bag and fill it up with pretzels for snack...he will take the entire bag. I did say to him wow thats a ton of pretzels for snack you can't take the entire bag. And he always has a reason justifying.. he won't eat the whole bag in one day he will save it for another day also...but then the next day he's busy taking even more snacks.
I hate to be his police man though. I dont want to grill him what happened to the bag from yesterday. I really hate that.
I dont make him his sandwiches he makes himself.
Emotional component - what is there to do about it ?
Realistically has anyone ever sent a kid to a therapist for over eating and seen results ?

I will look into homeopathy.

amother

↑ Skyblue ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 9:57 am

amother OP wrote:

I'd bet it's thyroid or adrenal related but could be subclinical and standard testing won't pick it up.

amother

Tulip

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 10:10 am

It's difficult to watch your kids eat like this. I would change the environment at home. Eliminate most carby side dishes, for example no kugel or kishka on shabbos, instead make roasted vegetables in the oven or a baked potato. Same for weeknight dinner. No pasta or white rice. Make quinoa or healthy grains but limit it. Make fish, eggs, salads, poultry. Don't keep nosh, cake, cookies, ice cream in the house. Buy small snack bags of pretzels and limit it to one per kid or do without and offer baby carrots, apples, other fruit and veggies as snack. This might be hard at first but there's no other good option.

And take to a therapist who specializes in binge eating.

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 10:23 am

amother OP wrote:

If I tell him want a cucumber ? He says sure ! And happily takes the whole cucumber English- large cucumbers...
But that won't stop him from also eating the whole bag of pretzels...

What is binge eating disorder and whats the treatment? Talk therapy or some other component ?

This is a pretty good working definition:

What is binge eating disorder? Binge eating is when you eat a large amount of food in a short amount of time and feel you can't control what or how much you are eating. ( Https://www.niddk.nih.gov/heal.....order )

Treatment for Binge eating disorder is usually a combination of talk therapy for the child, family therapy for the parents, and nutritional counseling with a dietitian who specializes in eating disorders.

The earlier you address an eating disorder the more more likely you'll get a better outcome.

amother

↑ Snowflake ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 10:25 am

amother OP wrote:

Your child has some kind of eating disorder. I say this kindly as someone who has an eating disorder which is sometimes controlled and sometimes not.

I would generally not be able to binge on a bag of cucumbers though so there really could be some physical disorder that is going on along with the psychological issues. I realize you have had him checked out by a doctor but maybe you should see if there is an expert in the field who has a handle on the big picture and might recognize a "zebra" - I.e. a rare medical condition.

Was this sudden in terms of a change in eating habits?

Binge eating disorder is one of three eating disorders officially recognized - others are bulimia and anorexia.

Here is a good outline of what BED is

https://www.mayoclinic.org/dis.....meal.

Now interestingly your son seems to lack what is most common among binge eaters - they generally do it in private because it is embarrassing and they feel ashamed of it but not able to control it. If anything most people think they are light eaters because in public many binge eaters don't eat a lot because they don't want to be viewed as "piggy". I am over-simplifying it but in general the binge provides emotional release for the moment and then feelings of shame. A bulimic binges but then purges.

For myself I controlled it - with lapses - by seeing a psychologist who specialized in eating disorders. It was a combination of cognitive and behavioral therapy in which I learned certain ways that helped me control my binging behavior. It wasn't classic talk therapy where we discussed that I didn't have sufficient sucking at my mother's breast Very Happy

Of course the issue would be that someone has to be motivated to want to change the behavior. Just like any addiction it is almost impossible to impose it on another person because it is such difficult life long struggle. You have to want to change the behavior because the behavior is making you more miserable than dealing with the hard work of changing the behavior.

amother

Hunter ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 10:26 am

amother Stone wrote:

Are you qualified to say this? It doesn’t sound like disordered eating to me. It may be, but probably a case of pre puberty hormones or maybe a hormonal imbalance + a household that’s not overly healthy.

The first thing I would address is movement, exercise puts one in touch with their body.

A good therapist can forsure be helpful to rule out an emotional component but I would first start with the pediatrician.

Signed I’m a therapist but didn’t see anything concerning in your post and I’ve watched my brother and nephews (incidentally, all in yeshivas all day that discouraged sports) got through this pre puberty. With awareness and help - adding in movement like biking, preparing a big salad or soup to eat with each meal, encouraging them to eat healthy amounts ( not monitoring them, but they may just not realize) it bh settled within a year or so.

Doesn’t mean that’s what’s going on for your son, but it very well could be.

Eta I don’t think switching the whole house to an extreme diet will help, focus on small changes. Water instead of soda, maybe plating the first portion at each meal, salads and soups.

amother

↑ Hunter ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 10:28 am

amother Snowflake wrote:

I think you’re projecting. Do you know teenage boys?

He’s not hiding his eating, he actually doesn’t sound emotionally invested in it at all (a binger may try to restrict then overeat or be generally obsessed with food).

He sounds unaware of his body and mindlessly eating.

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 10:37 am

amother Hunter wrote:

I don't think either of us are qualified to diagnose or rule out any condition based on a post on an online forum Smile

I think in this case the responsible thing to do is to direct OP to a competent expert who can make that determination.

amother

↑ Snowflake

Sun, Feb 11 2024, 10:41 am

amother Hunter wrote:

I didn't diagnose - I specifically said that he lacked one of the critical elements of BED as well as the odd ability to eat a bag of cucumbers.

I was responding to OP's question as to what Binge Eating Disorder was and not stating that her son had it.

However this kind of eating is NOT normal for even teenage boys.

My suggestion was to find a specialist - not necessarily someone who viewed it as a psychological issue and not someone who viewed it as needing a change of foods but someone who could figure out if there was anything physically driving this kind of abnormal hunger.

In other words, I wouldn't rely on the diagnosis of a primary care physician but would want to make sure there wasn't some other physical issue since - at least in my experience - the eating patterns are extreme even for a teenage boy.

Perhaps OP could clarify - is the kid exceptional tall - are they engaging in very strenuous physical activities?