My husband thinks it’s not a problem

WhatFor

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 10:01 am

amother Babyblue wrote:

Are you kidding me?🙄

Obviously I raised them throughout the years, they didn’t start out fully grown
Boys don’t have much busha until they are around 10. Or at least my boys didn’t
Why are you so intent on questioning me about this? Are YOU a man? How do YOU know?

Frankly I had the same question internally at that poster you're responding to. You said you know that men don't need to hold it because of your DH and sons. That suggests that your sons were talking to you about it as men. Once you explained, that's clearly not what you meant, but that's what it comes across as. Anyway, what a 10yo boy tells you he does has little bearing on what he'll have to do after puberty. And even if it did, what does your family have to do with the majority of men on planet earth?

And I actually never had a conversation with DH about how he urinates. I'm not saying it's inappropriate or anything, but it literally never came up. Why would you assume that every women on here would relate to these conversations?

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 11:14 am

amother OP wrote:

For my son to push down to aim in the bathroom. I want him to go handsfree, so I got from the dr a prescription to see a urologist. I know all about meatal stenosis, when asked dh if I can go ahead he said should I do the procedure on myself as well? I also need to push down. So is it normal for kids to touch down there or no? I have 6 boys btw and this kid is 6 already but still want to do it if not too late. Thank you so much for all advice

OP, your husband thinks its not a problem because.....its not a problem.
Why do you need your son to be hands free?

amother

Marigold

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 12:52 pm

I know there is a halachic preference that a male shouldn't touch his p3nis when going to the bathroom. It's not coming out of nowhere.
However, if your ds can only go to the toilet and aim by pushing it downwards, then let him. The reason it gets easier as they get older is their p3nis is physically longer and it usually is automatically aiming in the correct direction. A small boy's is frequently very short and is often pointing straight out.
I wouldn't rush to a urologist for that, unless there are other issues as well.

amother

Daylily

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 1:07 pm

This can be a real problem that needs to be evaluated. My ds had a procedure to correct it when he was 3, I have several older boys so I knew what to expect when potty training, but this is couldn't aim into the toilet no matter what he was doing and it always sprayed upwards. It was hard for him and frustrating for me to have to take him to the bathroom for months after potty training. After the procedure he was able to use the bathroom independently right away. Recovery was minimal. Have it evaluated, best case they'll tell you it's normal.

amother

Amaryllis

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 1:10 pm

First boy here. Took him to a urologist bec I thought his thingy wasn't straight. He definitely makes a mess. Urologist said it's all good. Only time they would operate is if he's literally urinating upward.
A good doctor would not do a procedure forno reason.

amother

Maple ↓

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 1:17 pm

You mention know about meatal stenosis but do you know if your son has it? Is the opening smaller than usual? Does urine stream go upwards instead of straight? There's a difference between holding to aim and having to push all the way down because otherwise stream goes upwards. In the case of meatal stenosis a procedure to correct it is warranted for other medical reasons as well.

caza ↓

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 1:46 pm

My son had surgery for meatal stenosis a year ago. Before having surgery he had to push down and even then it usually landed on the other side. If he sat then it came out of the crack between the toilet seat. He had a bad case and had surgery with 3 stitches. I know someone else that her son had it but by him they managed to get away with dilation because it wasn't so bad.
Since my son had surgery he does not have to push down at all, it goes right in.
It Def worth checking it out.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 11:02 pm

I’ll try to reply to all at once. When I toilet trained him we had a hard time having him aim. We waited a year or so till the dr examined him closely and said yes I can go to urology. It got better, he learned to go by himself but I would find mess all over every other day. He gets very frustrated when he has to run to the Bathroom and spray all over before having a chance to hold down. He’s 6.5 now and manages well but I still want him to go without being nervous that he’ll aim straight ahead. I know adults that still spray all over the bathroom. It’s not an emergency, he can live life without the surgery but I just want it to be easier.

amother

↑ Maple

Sun, Jan 21 2024, 11:14 pm

Meatal stenosis can cause increased urgency and other symptoms as well. Why should he have to live with that if simple procedure can help improve quality of life?

ETA and if your husband is one of the adults you know who still sprays all over maybe he should have the procedure done as well

↑ caza

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 4:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Definitely worth checking it out, ds doesn't need to touch since he had surgery for meatal stenosis.
DS also had to have an ultrasound to see that there is no damage to the kidneys as meatal stenosis can cause incomplete emptying of the bladder (which showed up on the ultrasound) but bh there was no damage to the kidneys. But DS did have a bad case, now I see the difference.