Help, baby cries to nurse ALL night!

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:08 pm

It's been going on at least a week and I'm having a breakdown. Sorry for long post but I'm providing all the details in case it's relevant.

We hadn't gotten into an amazing sleep rhythm and I wanted to work on that, but meanwhile things are so messed up now.

Here's what used to happen, more or less:
Went to night sleep maybe 10:30ish. Woke up around midnight for a midnight snack. Could usually be transferred back to crib at that point, and then would sleep for up to 5 hours. Then would wake up, nurse hungrily, and fall back asleep with me in my bed because at 4-5am I am too tired to take the chance that he won't transfer back successfully, because if a transfer ever doesn't work then he pops back wide awake and there's no going back.

This wasn't all that consistent but I'd started working on getting that first sleep at a more consistent time, transferring him to the crib for at least the first stretch or two (which I did often but not 100%), and helping him fall asleep separately from nursing at least the first time, all of which seemed to be going ok. Basically things we'd been doing already for months, but trying to do more consistently and more scheduled.

Suddenly all bets are off. I put him down for what should be 4-5 hours and he wakes up 30 minutes later and WILL NOT settle back down unless I nurse him. Like escalating bloodcurdling screams, even if he's being held and sung to and walked and pacifiered and all the things that usually comfort him. Only nursing. But then he falls asleep latched on, and as soon as I unlatch it's right back to crying. At some point he'll fall asleep and not wake up when unlatched, but then it all repeats - he'll wake up more or less a half hour later, cry inconsolably harder and harder only wanting to nurse. ALL. NIGHT. LONG!!! When I let him fall asleep latched on in bed with me, he stays asleep more than a half hour, so I get more sleep but very poor quality and I'm not functioning, and he's still waking up a lot more than he used to. Like after an hour instead of a half hour.

He's obviously not hungry because 1. he falls asleep very quickly after latching on, 2. after a few rounds of this he isn't even nursing, it only makes him uncomfortable - he'll demand to nurse and then when I give it to him he just latches on and cries there. That's the worst part because there is literally nothing left to offer him!

I tried nursing him sooner without waiting for him to cry for it first in order to not have an automatic crying habit or something, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I tried putting off the nursing hoping that he will respond to some other form of comfort, but he doesn't. I tried giving him a bottle before bed in case he's actually hungry, didn't help at all. I tried Tylenol in case he's having teething pain, I don't think it helped, but I'm pretty sure it's not teething pain because he's happy as anything during the day and one night when DH played with him instead of me trying to put him back to sleep.

The only thing I haven't tried is taking him for a walk outside, because it's been windy and freezing or below freezing at night. But walking around the house doesn't help.

DH keeps waking up from all the crying and he's like "Just give up your sleep training ideas and nurse him already!" and I'm like first off all this is WITH nursing! Secondly if this baby doesn't get sleep trained then I will literally never function, I'm already falling apart from sleeping in such short increments. So anyway there's no real support there. Over the weekend when he wasn't bound to his work schedule DH tried to help but it didn't accomplish much except to give me a much-needed break. I.e. it helped me a little temporarily but did not help the baby sleep - he did a little playing instead of sleeping, and then when he was tired again went right back to screaming to nurse and nothing else. In general DH works a packed schedule and has to wake up early in the morning so we're both going a little crazy from this.

OK if you read this whole megillah, thank you. If you have experience with this or if you have advice from a sleep coach or anything, please please share. I'm desperate and will try anything except cold turkey CIO.

workout geek

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:10 pm

Are you sure he isn't teething or have an ear infection?

amother

Tealblue

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:11 pm

How old is the baby?

amother

Antiquewhite

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:11 pm

Did you say how old the baby is?

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:13 pm

One word TEETHING

Not sure how old your baby is but you mentioned that you had a semi-routine going for a few months and now its all out of whack. Try giving some tylenol/motrin at the first waking and see if it makes a difference.

amother

Nasturtium

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:19 pm

Same here and it is driving me crazy also! My baby also wakes up constantly and often will wake up if I try unlatching him he just wants to keep nursing. I can’t lay attached to him all night and then when I just give in I don’t get a normal sleep either.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:26 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

How old is the baby?

Whoops after all that detail I forgot to mention he's 5 months old

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:27 pm

workout geek wrote:

Are you sure he isn't teething or have an ear infection?

He's quite happy for about 18/24 hours so I assume that's not it. Also I tried Tylenol for 2 (maybe 3? Who can tell anymore?) Nights in case it's teething pain and that didn't help.

amother

Clematis

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 4:31 pm

How is he during the day?
Ear infection? Milk supply issue?
Maybe pump and have your husband give a bottle at night so you can see how much he ate and you can get more sleep

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:12 pm

He's fine during the day. Maybe a little stingier on the naps too? But he was always up and down on that.

I tried giving him a bottle in case it was a milk supply issue and it didn't seem to help. I really don't think hunger is the issue or he'd be 1. Sleeping a little longer at a time because a 5 month old does not need to eat again after an hour or less and 2. Nursing for more than a few seconds before falling back asleep (which he does some of the times but not all) plus the thing where he cries even while he's nursing, as if he's full and uncomfortable but still feels a compulsion to nurse and doesn't know what else to do to calm down.

Forgot to mention he used to take a pacifier sometimes but not usually, and now of course he is vehemently refusing it.

I don't know what else to try. Maybe I'll do a bottle again tonight just in case even though I'm pretty sure it didn't have any impact last time.

amother

Orange ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Whoops after all that detail I forgot to mention he's 5 months old

Why is he going to sleep so late? He’s probably crazy over tired.

Look up takingcarababies blog or anything about baby schedules/ wake windows.

Aim for bedtime between 7/8 with 3 naps during the day.

amother

Cerise

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:17 pm

Sounds like the typical 4 month sleep regression (can happen at 5 months too) it’s a nightmare. It can last a few weeks.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:22 pm

amother Orange wrote:

Because when he falls asleep at 8 or so (like I said we're not on a very consistent schedule. But there will often be a sleep sometime between 6/7/8...) he wakes up cheerful as anything within an hour. So 7/8 is clearly still a nap. But around 10ish he starts getting good and sleepy, and experience has shown that he can, at least theoretically, fall asleep for the night then, so that's when I do bedtime routines.

amother

Mintgreen ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:26 pm

Just nurse him. It’s normal and it will pass.

amother

↑ Mintgreen ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:28 pm

Check his ears for ear infection.
Nurse him, 5 months is very young. He is either hungry, thirsty, or nursing for comfort.
He is little, nurse him.

amother

Heather

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:28 pm

Put him out of your room. It can help baby sleep better.

amother

↑ Orange ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

Babies do better with somewhat of a schedule. I have hard babies that wake up a lot to nurse but the night is from 7/8-6 am. They’re bh always sleepy then even if they are sad etc.

When do you nap him? When does he wake up for the day?

amother

Lightcoral ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:33 pm

Check for ear infection I just had this

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:38 pm

To those saying "just nurse him" - first of all he isn't even happy with that. After a few rounds he cries even while nursing. Secondly, how am I supposed to function if I'm nursing every hour or so? Literally every part of my body is hurting from exhaustion. I keep praying that I don't accidentally wrap my carpool around a pole. Hopefully I won't lose my job either.

How can he be hungry or thirsty after he just nursed and nursed and nursed, and possibly a bottle too? And if he's nursing for comfort then how can I teach him other ways of finding comfort? Because this is just not working at all.

I don't have a place to put him out of my room. The plan is for him to eventually share a room with another child when he can sleep through the night for real, but I can't do that to her when he still cries in middle of the night. Also the other bedrooms are not close enough to mine for me to respond to a baby this young.

I'd like to take comfort in "it's normal and will pass" but I'm not so convinced because it feels like we're just digging deeper and deeper into a habit. I feel like he's learning that he needs to constantly have a b00b in his mouth otherwise life is a tragedy. At least that's what it sounds like. Also I'm not sure how to survive until it passes. DH is not able to help because his work schedule is grueling and also he's just not effective. On weekends or when he can handle it he helps by giving me a little break but it's a drop in the bucket, maybe enough to keep me from literally dying of exhaustion which is very important but just not enough.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 15 2024, 5:40 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

Check for ear infection I just had this

With baby being 100% cheerful and friendly all day and ok for part of the night (like 5-8am)? He's only miserable from about 11 to idk 4ish.