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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Other special days
amother
Lily
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Fri, Dec 22 2023, 2:49 pm
amother Starflower wrote: | In my community (belz) we don't fast on Tisha bav when pregnant or nursing, although I think usually you ask first. We also don't fast the other minor fasts. |
Also Belz. Same here. My daughter got married and now she fasts even minor fasts. She didn’t grow up fasting and none of her sisters fast, so it’s hard for her.
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amother
Wheat
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Fri, Dec 22 2023, 2:57 pm
I only fast the 2 main fasts. My sil fasts all fasts from when her baby is 2 if she's not pregnant. Not sure where that came from but I think her rav.
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Ema of 5
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Fri, Dec 22 2023, 3:25 pm
amother Lilac wrote: | Asarah b'teves cannot fall on shabbos. But if it were to fall on shabbos, it would be the only halachic fast that would not be postponed & we'd fast on shabbos. |
You repeated what you said, but didn’t answer my question or give a source. I don’t remember hearing this. Do you have a source, or know if this opinion is widely accepted?
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amother
Cadetblue
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Fri, Dec 22 2023, 3:32 pm
amother Mintgreen wrote: | In Satmar,the women mostly fast. In Bobov, Klausenberg, Sanz, they dont |
No. Not tisha bav. Only in certain circumstances. I had ti ask when I was a kimpeturin with a 4 month nth old. I was told to break my fast mid morning.
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amother
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Fri, Dec 22 2023, 3:45 pm
Ema of 5 wrote: | You repeated what you said, but didn’t answer my question or give a source. I don’t remember hearing this. Do you have a source, or know if this opinion is widely accepted? |
Oh, I misunderstood. It's in gemara, I will ih try to look up the source.
Asarah b'teves is also the only fast (aside from yom kippur) that we fast on Friday if it falls out on Friday.
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amother
Thistle
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Sat, Dec 23 2023, 2:46 pm
amother Lilac wrote: | Oh, I misunderstood. It's in gemara, I will ih try to look up the source.
Asarah b'teves is also the only fast (aside from yom kippur) that we fast on Friday if it falls out on Friday. |
My dh just explained that it says on asarah b'teves "b'etzem ha yom". So it's "this specific day," it can therefore not be a nidche, it's specifically telling you that it's on this very day.
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amother
Mauve
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Sat, Dec 23 2023, 6:50 pm
Afaik Bobov is more lenient with fasting than Satmar.
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Ema of 5
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Sat, Dec 23 2023, 7:42 pm
amother Mauve wrote: | Afaik Bobov is more lenient with fasting than Satmar. |
In general yes, but it seems tisha b’av doesn’t fall under that leniency.
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amother
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Sat, Dec 23 2023, 7:48 pm
Source please? My Klausenberg husband and FIL say otherwise.
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amother
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Sat, Dec 23 2023, 7:54 pm
amother Green wrote: | Source please? My Klausenberg husband and FIL say otherwise. |
According to my klousenberg grandfather, he asked the Rebbe multiple times if any of his daughters needed to fast the minor fasts and the Rebbe response was always no.
My klousenberg uncles make their daughters break their fasts even on their wedding day.
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amother
Pumpkin
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Sat, Dec 23 2023, 8:07 pm
I married into Ger chasidus and when I was fasting on tzom gedalia _ I was very harshly told that women don’t fast on these days- only yom
Kippur and Tisha bav. At the time I was just married and knew I wasn’t pregnant and was an easy faster so I really didn’t understand but that’s what I was told.
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amother
Scarlet
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Sat, Dec 23 2023, 8:26 pm
amother Lilac wrote: | Oh, I misunderstood. It's in gemara, I will ih try to look up the source.
Asarah b'teves is also the only fast (aside from yom kippur) that we fast on Friday if it falls out on Friday. |
It's the only fast that ever does fall out on Friday. I've never heard of other fasts being nidche because it was Friday. Just the way the calendar is set up
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Ema of 5
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Sat, Dec 23 2023, 8:56 pm
amother Scarlet wrote: | It's the only fast that ever does fall out on Friday. I've never heard of other fasts being nidche because it was Friday. Just the way the calendar is set up |
That’s what I thought. The calendar was set up specifically having in mind what days things can and can’t fall out on.
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amother
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 5:58 pm
amother Cantaloupe wrote: | I don’t know why this comment doesn’t bother anyone, sounds quite judgmental. Do you think that’s why Moshiach isn’t here yet? That’s very simplistic thinking.
Also due to those who sound like you is why I don’t share that I personally cannot fast ( for mental health reasons). BH you have never suffered and are stronger than me. |
You're right, that was a little judgemental. I'm sorry if I offended you. In this case I am talking about people I personally know, who are talking about the normal side effects of fasting that everyone experiences, and seeking heterim for that. As other mother said, the point of fasting is not to make yourself sick - but if we consider that level of discomfort "sickness" then very few people, only those who are blessed to feel totally normal without eating all day, would fast. I certainly understand that many people do have valid reasons not to fast, and I in no way see that negatively. Thank you for calling me out without being rude.
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amother
Chambray
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 6:28 pm
amother Green wrote: | Source please? My Klausenberg husband and FIL say otherwise. |
This, I'm klausenberg now
My husband says the rebbe strongly holds that one SHOULD start the fast, unless pregnant/nursings... but if even any small headache or not feeling good comes up one may break it,
It's not 'clear cut' for fasting
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amother
Hawthorn
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 6:43 pm
Satmar here. My mom & grandma always fasted most fast days. I think people have become more lenient over the years as many women struggle physically & mentally. We do always fast t' bav even when pregnant & nursing unless we medically can't, we try for yid teives & Sheva asar betamuz but personally it's been years because it's really hard with little kids.
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amother
Diamond
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:24 pm
ultra chasidish for reference [neutral - not specific chasidus - ties to Belz but also ties to Tzans and Satmar so whatever]
my family and my husbands family - women always fasted all fast days unless a Dayan paskened for that specific circumstance - meaning no blanket heter for pregnant - each pregnant and breastfeeding was a shayla again
I'm aware that this isn't typical across the board chasidish but there are still plenty of families where the women fast like I just described above
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Rappel
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 7:29 pm
Well, I learn something new every day. Thank you for edifying me
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