What was the final straw to pull out of main stream school?

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 6:39 pm

My child in mid elementary school and is really struggling. the school is supportive and has pull outs and we are also getting private help out of school. With all that we are not at grade level and it’s just getting harder and harder and is making my child feel stressed even though there is no pressure put on to do the full work load. they just can’t handle. The next move would be to move out of the main stream school to a school that will be able to help with the learning disability. It just feels like such a big step big decision and how do I know that it will really help ? socially there are no issues and has so many friends.

amother

Plum

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:01 pm

When My kid started telling me that other kids all ask him for the names of the kids in school who sell vapes and when he started asking me questions on p_rn. When I realized he was falling in with the street gang in school.

But really, I would have pulled out a lot sooner if I didn't have so many obstacles in my path.

amother

Steelblue

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:34 pm

The final straw was ds telling us he wanted to destroy the school and hurt the teachers and jump out the window (suicide) multiple times.
We switched to special Ed and he is the happiest boy now, so well adjusted, and has a wonderful self esteem. We were waiting for the school to kick him out but they never did. It got bad enough that we realized we needed to leave on our own if we wanted to save our child.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 8:29 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

I guess that’s the same if they are not kicking us out then I just lay low but Iam feeling like it’s a bad idea my child is asking to switch now so I really need to figure things out . I don’t want it to get to a point of hating themselves

amother

Rose

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 9:19 pm

If your child is failing he needs a special education program and /or tutoring. Every child has to get through elementary school. My son has an amazing seit who helped him stay on grade level in first. I didn't get help and during fourth grade I was drowning. I had inattentive adhd (never diagnosed) and I just couldn't keep up. My father spent the bulk of 4th grade tutoring me. I just needed more time to process and I caught up. I always struggled with math and grammar but I passed. It's very important that your child pass. C students with a healthy social life can lead productive lives, just help your kids with the basics. There are schools that have a simpler curriculum that breaks the information down. Unless you don't live in the tri state area.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:31 am

amother Rose wrote:

We have Tutoring it’s more than that even it’s a Specialty teacher who is literally teaching her in a different method not doing hw. been doing it for a long time we also have a Diagnosed learning disability so I know what we are dealing with.it’s a slow process and we are making progress but not to what her class is doing I also don’t do any Hebrew tutoring. But even with all thi and the pull outs and the teachers going easy she’s still getting overwhelmed .

amother

Cobalt ↓

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:35 am

amother OP wrote:

Why is she asking to switch? How does she know it’s an option? If it’s something you’ve discussed then I would absolutely take her opinion into account. She knows what’s happening in school better than you do.

The question is if this is a 1 way street or if she can return to mainstream down the road.

amother

↑ Cobalt

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:35 am

amother OP wrote:

It is so hard for them to feel different. Does she have friends with learning disabilities who she can empathize with?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 9:42 am

[quote="amother Cobalt"]Why is she asking to switch? How does she know it’s an option? If it’s something you’ve discussed then I would absolutely take her opinion into account. She knows what’s happening in school better than you do.

The question is if this is a 1 way street or if she can return to mainstream down the road.[ /quote]
I did tell her about the option about the school at the end of last year when she asked if they were going to hold her back again and I said worst case will have to go to a different school we would ever do that again. But I didn’t give her any details later on she asked more about it and I gave her some details but she was just like OK but I like my friends. And now she’s like we could still be friends but this is too much for me I want to switch. I don’t know how this works long-term I don’t know what happens later on I don’t know what happens for high school But honestly I don’t know what happens if I don’t switch her either. There are other technicalities I come along with it also but that would just be a figuring out kind of thing.

amother

Brown ↓

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 9:38 pm

I know a mom of very successful confident girls with ld.

Academics isn’t everything

She told her girls you got to sit through 12 years of school, and then you can put it behind you. Her girls had a great social life in school and sat through the academics respectfully.

She gave them art, music and extracurricular. She gave them confidence and belief that they are great kids despite the ld.

Make sure your child can read and write and has basic math.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 10:05 pm

amother Brown wrote:

I agree with a lot of this but the big issue is reading so …….

amother

↑ Brown

Tue, Nov 14 2023, 10:15 am

If your daughter is doing well socially and is happy , perhaps she can be kept in mainstream.

There are many benefits to staying in mainstream. If you pull her out daily for personal lessons in reading, you are addressing the problem and with Hashems help, she will slowly catch on.

You would have to be super clear with her, she has a ld. she is loved, cherished. worthy, capable. Learning is just one area of life.

I think to put in special ed and then be able to mainstream will be very difficult. Now she is coasting with the social circles.