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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

Adding a Candle

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Motek ↓

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 12:37 pm

Some have the custom to add an additional candle after a child is born when they light Friday night. Others just stick to two.

proudmom ↓

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 12:42 pm

what custom is that? I never heard of that. Because I know lubavitch add a candle for each child born.

↑ Motek ↓

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 12:49 pm

it's definitely not a lubavitch custom exclusively

plenty non-Lubavitch and non-chasidim light a candle for every family member

cy ↓

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 4:06 pm

I think most people add a candle for every child born, and when they go away will just light two.

de_goldy ↓

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 5:04 pm

cy - I never heared of only lighting 2 if you go away. Doesn't sound right to me because you are never supposed to diminish. So if you light an extra candle one week, you have to keep lighting an extra candle from then on. Same as if you lose a child, you keep lighting that candle. Also if you miss one week, you add an extra candle from then on. I have never heared of not lighting all when you go away...

Rochel Leah

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 6:42 pm

I know someone who lights a candel for each of her grandchildren too. that could get a bit much and I think it is a personal "chumra"

↑ cy ↓

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 7:59 pm

de goldy-- what happens if you go away to a simcha? does everyone light for all their kids? you would need tons and tons of candles. I barely ever see people when they are'nt home light more then two, especially if they have a lot of children.

↑ de_goldy ↓

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 8:39 pm

yes Cy - tha'ts what happens. People generally use tea-lights if they're going away though. It's easier.

ForeverYoung ↓
Guest

Mon, Nov 29 2004, 8:41 pm

halacha is 2. Some people add 1 for each child (I'm one of them).
I believe, it began at chabad or some other chasidus, but it is a beautiful minhag, so many women picket it up.
My dh wasn't thrilled, but I didn't give him choice Wink

Now we both enjoy looking at the additional candles that represent our kids. Smile

I kow of many people who light only 2 when away, but if possilble, I try to lign all of them.

Also, some people light 2 oil & 2 wax for shabbos, and some add a candle per child on top of that.

A friend of mine had a family over for Shabbos where both parents lit all the candles (2+# of kids) + father lit a candle for each of the many yeshuos and miracles that happened to them. She had candles all over & she said it was just beautiful!

I also know that in Chabad single girls light too.

PS Motek, when you begin a thred, could you state your question? it would make it easier to guess what was the point of it. Thanks. Wink

↑ cy

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 5:30 am

sorry, its not a chabad minhag to light for every child, basically everyone does it. I know that its a chabad minhag that single girls also light. One thing I dont like about that, is when you get married its nothing new to light candles.

↑ de_goldy ↓

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 5:43 am

cy - It's new to start lighting 2 candles when you're married. Although now it is pretty much only lubavitchers who light from 3, that is not the ideal. Most people dont have a minhag to 'not light' until they are married. When candles became an expensive commodity and families couldn't afford enough candles for everyone to light, only the married women would light candles. For some reason this has stuck although candles now are very affordable. Only the Rebbe has brought back this beautiful mitzvah among his chassidim.

↑ Motek ↓

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 6:20 am

ForeverYoung - I didn't have a question. I simply introduced a topic and you and the other posters "got the point" just fine! Smile

↑ ForeverYoung ↓
Guest

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 7:07 am

de-goldy, what is the source for your statement?

As far as I know it's 2 candles PER FAMILY.

when I was n the hospital, my dh lit for all of us.

also, why don't Lubavich men light if there is no halacha to not light?
------------

Motek, I was just wondering what your question is....

zuncompany ↓

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 9:00 am

Actually lighting before you get married doesn't take away from it at all! That first Shabbos when I lite 2 candles for the first time... it felt so special. I looked at my candle sticks with such pride.

sara

↑ Motek ↓

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 9:23 am

boy! between your kavonos being powerful (in the Proper Thoughts) thread and your comment here ... you're doing good zun Wink

gryp

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 10:05 am

zuncompany wrote:

me too, each shabbos in the weeks before my wedding, I counted down to the time I would start lighting 2 candles as a married woman. and my beautiful leichter... well that is another topic.... Smile

↑ de_goldy

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 11:49 am

FY - there most definitely IS a source for what I'm saying although I cannot for the life of me think what it is at the moment. I'll try to find out and post it - or if anyone else konws, feel free to do so.

↑ zuncompany ↓

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 12:07 pm

I learned in sem that the reason why women stopped lighting from age three unil married was cause of the shortage in WW2. However for some reason it was not started back up when the war was over. In the 70s (I think it was than) the L. Rebbe started the neshek campaign and called on all girls from three and older to start lighting shabbos candles. Before WW2 though everyone did.

When our friend's daughters turn three (the non-frum ones) we actually give them their very own candle sticks. We have friend whose daughter just turned three and she loves her candle sticks and can't wait for Shabbos to come so she can light them. The mother now lights too. I taught three year olds before I got married and we did a Shabbos unit and many of the families started lighting. None of them being Lubavitch... they loved the idea though.

sara

↑ ForeverYoung ↓
Guest

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 12:38 pm

Quote:

I learned in sem that the reason why women stopped lighting from age three unil married was cause of the shortage in WW2.

I never heard of this, and I have a question: why no other hasidim resumed this minhag? Usually, chasidim are very strickt on this.

Any other chasidim on this site????

↑ zuncompany ↓

Tue, Nov 30 2004, 12:42 pm

like I said... I don't know why women did not resume when the war was over and it was more wildly available. Lubavitch women didn't until the 70s when the L. Rebbe started the neshek campaign... at least it wasn't stressed until than.

Sara

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