How to navigate sudden poverty

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:32 pm

DH was just told he’s losing his job. He was earning around $600k/year (before taxes) which I know sounds like a ton but we are a family of 8 living in the tri state area and have very little savings. I earn $70k/year (before taxes) and we spend over $100k/year on tuition and mortgage alone.

He was given 4 weeks notice. For various reasons, the chance of him finding a job that pays that amount (or ANY job at all) within the next 4-8 weeks is slim to none. I honestly doubt he’ll find another job paying anywhere near this amount EVER.

I’m trying to take a deep breathe and figure out how to make this work but am seriously at a loss.

Some questions I have are:
1) How do I get health insurance for my family (we currently are on insurance through his employer but obviously that will end and there’s no way we can afford the cobra rates)?
2) What, if any, programs will we be eligible for (to help pay for groceries) and how do we get them? We’ve never been on public assistance but I don’t see how we’ll pay for even groceries after the first month (we have enough savings to get us through a month or two)?
3) I know we have to call the schools to ask for tuition breaks (currently paying around $15k/child/year) but we’re still going to have to pay SOMETHING. How are we going to find the $ for this?
4) Are we supposed to be emptying out our retirement account (would buy us another couple of years)? Sell our house? Both?

I am having such anxiety over this please give me any suggestions and resources you have on how to navigate this.

Thank you!

100

SYA ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:36 pm

Call the schools now and arrange a discount starting next month.
Check your states income eligibility for Medicaid or child health plus, food stamps (snap) and wic. Wic is only for children under 5, and pregnant or nursing women for the first year.

justforfun87

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:36 pm

I am so so sorry to read this. I daven that your husband finds something very soon.
Practical advice is FIRST tell the schools to hold off on any payments until you get some footing.

amother

Electricblue ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:37 pm

That's really hard. 600k is a TON of money. Most ppl live on a lot less so its doable but it will be hard. Try to get breaks now and you will learn to live on less. Iyh he will find a job and you will adjust to his new salary.

mfb

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:37 pm

So sorry!! This must be really hard!!
I’m not a maven in financials but I can’t imagine it would make financial sense to empty retirement accounts??

amother

Pumpkin ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:37 pm

Oish!

Hashem is Hakol Yachol!

Hishtadlus.

Call Yeled V Yalda or Met Council, they will help you with health insurance.

Same for food stamps.

There is vouchers that help with tuition costs, I don’t know the eligibility criteria-your school should be able to guide you.
Otherwise someone on this chat should give you a facilitator contact number

amother

Maize ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:38 pm

Can you call RSK or one of the other financial planning organizations?

That way you can come up with a plan and aren’t second guessing every choice. As a child my parents had a huge loss of income and I wish they did that vs arguing and trying to figure out piece by piece.

There may also be Jewish guys that can help him network for another job? ( I know a lawyer that lost a job for not such pretty reasons but his friends helped him get another so his family doesn’t suffer)

I am so so sorry, sounds like a nightmare.

amother

Calendula

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:38 pm

Will he get severance? Generally someone with such a high salary is an executive and would get a severance package that would hopefully tide you over?

↑ SYA

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:38 pm

You can’t apply for assistance until your husband is out of his job.
Check local food pantries or Tomchei Shabbos if you will need help.

Do not sell your house. Your mortgage is first.
Rent in many places is now more than a mortgage or will soon be.
They should not know about your retirement funds as that is what it was put away for.

amother

Linen ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:39 pm

If you’re in Lakewood call LRRC for help with government programs. In monsey there’s a similar organization but I can’t think of their name.

Where are you located? There are organizations that are experts in this.

amother

Ruby

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:39 pm

Does your husband's current employer have an "employee assistance program" that he could access? There may be some financial counseling available.

#BestBubby ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:41 pm

Contact Tomchei Shobbos and ask for financial advisor

And help finding a job.

Hatzlochah

amother

↑ Pumpkin ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:41 pm

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amother

Sand ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:42 pm

What does your husband do?

amother

↑ Sand

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:42 pm

Don't sell your house, it won't help in the long term
When rates go down a bit, you may be able to refinance and lower your mortgage

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:43 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Does anyone know the equivalent of these organizations in NJ (if they even exist)?

amother

Aquamarine ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Retirement account is also savings, just with another name.
How much is in your retirement account? I assume at least 1 million, since you said it can cover a couple of years (based on your usual cost of living, I’m assuming).
Don’t sell your house, but if you have a million $ accessible, I don’t think you have to worry about food at this point.

If your husband gets a low offer-such as $400k-500k, he should probably take it. If he doesn’t want it though, please let us know of any such opportunities!

ETA: He should also get 2/3rds pay through Unemployment, for up to 6 months I believe; though I’m sure it’s capped at a certain $ amount.

↑ #BestBubby ↓

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:45 pm

Your first priority is mortgage.

Ask your boss if there is extra work you can do at home.

Contact schools and put tuition on hold until DH has job.

Cut food budget, especially snacks,no take out.

Have meeting with kids and tell them you will be ok but there will be cutbacks.

Kids should earn spending money.

No new clothes except shoes and underwear.

amother

Daphne

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:46 pm

I think Achiezer should be able to either help you or connect you to other resources. They have a whole department for insurance and another for financial guidance. Based in 5t/FR but can help in other areas of NY I believe.

https://www.achiezer.org/contact
516-791-4444

Hatzlacha OP. Hashem should bless you with only good, your husband should find a new job smoothly and quickly that is a good fit for him and your family, and your home should be filled with bracha and shalom!

amother

Ecru

Tue, Oct 24 2023, 3:59 pm

Lots of good advice here OP.

Don't do anything drastic right now, like selling your house, cashing out your retirement funds, or pulling your kids out of school and homeschooling.

Speaking to one of the financial guidance organizations is a great idea. They will help you work out the best way to manage going forward.

IYH it will all work out smoothly and without agmas nefesh.