Giving more attention to one baby

tovarena

Fri, Aug 01 2008, 8:30 am

I have noticed recently that I seem to spend more time holding DD. It's funny because DS is the cuddlebug of the two, but I think he's generally more willing to go to any of "his" people (Mommy, Daddy, Bubby, Zaidy, babysitter, etc.) while she has a majorly strong preference for only me. But I've been wondering if I'm also subconsciously doing it for other reasons. For instance, when they wake up, generally DS wakes up screaming while DD wakes up happy and smiley. So if DH is around to help, I seem to almost always go to get her out of her crib and let DH take DS. When we're both around to take the kids out of car seats, I take DD, but then she sits in the seat right behind me, so I just get out of the car and open the first door I come to.

It's funny, because DH has said that he finds he tends to favor DS because he's usually a bit more fussy, while DD is more independent and will play quietly on her own for a little while. So he tends to hold DS more so he won't be so fussy.

So I'm just wondering if any of you have experienced similar situations. And for those with older multiples, do they make comparisons as they get older of how much time mommy or daddy are spending with each?

myfriends715

Fri, Aug 01 2008, 10:15 am

I also find myself "showing a preference" for dd vs. ds... she is smaller and easier to hold and also more advanced so is a lot funnier to observe.. and I also used to notice that I would always end up w/ her when dh was home.. but 2 things:
1. I started making an effort to play w/ ds more
2. dd developed a massive preference to dh so if hes around she is happier w. him

mom21n2

Fri, Aug 01 2008, 11:52 am

I definitely find myself reaching more for DS2. He is so happy and cuddly. I can't keep my hands off him. DD seems not to like being held and usually is grumpy about one thing or another. I still am making a conscious effort to pick her up each time I pick him up, and I am trying to figure out what she likes and what makes her happy. For example, I figured out that when I hold her facing outwards, she is quite content. It took me a year to figure that out.

Pineapple

Sat, Aug 02 2008, 11:19 pm

I was thinking of starting such a post!

I find that everyday I have a "prefrence" for one. I sometimes feel so guilty that I am not giving the otehr one attention so I try to give the other one as well.