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Chaya123
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 Mon, May 29 2023, 12:47 pm
No, the Mishpacha, recent serial in Ramat Eshkol.
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amother
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Wed, May 31 2023, 6:33 pm
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Can someone please post (with spoilers warning)?
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amother
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 9:30 am
| amother Honey wrote: | SPOILER ALERT
Miri goes out to eat with her mother and tells her the news about Mrs T being Aryeh's grandma, and how she feels she became more mature, and Aryeh has so much to deal with, and it's possible his parents will divorce.
And then she said how he's seeing someone and when he came home last night, he was talking about the need to identify his own needs instead of being busy with only other people's needs. And this morning Miri found a note from Aryeh that he went away to think things thru and now she's afraid he might decide she's not the wife he needs or wants.
Stupid.
And when his therapist was talking about Aryeh helping everyone, um, what about his wife and the hell he made her go through with his behavior? I really don't see him taking care of "others" that Eitan kept on talking about, besides his mother and maybe his siblings. |
Once he can heal himself he will be a healthier husband and a healthier giver. He cant be there for miri or for anybody in a healthy way until he learns how to heal himself
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amother
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 9:34 am
| amother Aster wrote: | Hmm I have a lot of training in abuse dynamics and this hasn’t been the case in my experience.
Just doesn’t resonate. |
I have trained in the school of hard knocks And can attest that this is all absolutely true. The codependent hero angel becomes the villain with pitchforks
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amother
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Fri, Jun 02 2023, 9:47 am
As someone that was raised in a complicated home there is so much in the story I can relate to.
I am actually walking around with the words of Aryehs last session ringing in my ears because it is Something I struggle so much with!
Human beings are deeply complexed, and within dysfunction there are heartwarming moments and sweet memories too. Which makes It all the more so confusing and painful. Many get lost and beaten in the process of victim abuse and the kind hearted saviors within a family get severely wounded to the point where they turn to looking like the bad guys and the cause of it all. While the abuser is left intact and playing Mr Innocent Nice Guy.
Those that have joined my family through marriage and haven't been there all along believe that my victim parent is the cause of it all. But in these complicated situation where everything is so intertwined and messy its hard to see who's feeding off whose dysfunction.
Last but not least healing doesn't look to pretty. There is lots of coming apart to bits before putting it all back together again, if ever. Aryeh is responding normal in an abnormal situation by turning into a runaway child teen. There are so many parts of his emotional world that has been stunted. He has to find himself from scratch.
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amother
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 10:49 pm
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An interesting twist of where Aryeh went. But - ugh! - seriously, doubting if he had married Miri if not for his mother's pushing? Poor Miri was right it'll come to that.
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amother
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 10:53 pm
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I very much relate to Aryeh, and I feel this story has been mostly realistic so far. Including the last installment.
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amother
Slateblue
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Sun, Jun 04 2023, 7:04 pm
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Can someone please share what happened this past week? Thank you.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 04 2023, 8:35 pm
Aryeh finds himself outside his grandmother's house (Mrs Teigman) and unburdens himself.
He cries out his pain and mixed emotions. He realizes his mother wanted a wife for him who won't get in the way of their relationship. He questions if he would've married Miri if he was in touch with himself.
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brightness
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Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:50 am
Spoiler alert
Miri calls over a friend Yocheved. She didn't know who to turn to since her husband just left . She decided that her mother wouldn't be a good choice so she asks her friend going back to first grade to come down. Miri is going on and on and on about who awful Aryeh us. How she has gone through so much and he just walks off. She is really angry at the therapist. Her friend is trying to get in a word just Miri doesn't stop ranting. Finally her friend asks if she can say what she thinks. She is firm with Miri and tells her she has to start being more confident with herself. She tells her all her life she has been very needy. People have tried to build her up but never seemed to do much for her. Yocheved tells Miri it's not fair to her husband to her kid. She needs to get help and be more confident. Yocheved feels awful being so harsh with her but says she is doing it our of pure love for her. Then the baby starts to cry. Miri goes over to him and says all Will be on.
My take it's what Miri needed to hear. Feel bad for her that Aryeh walked out, he is a jerk for doing that but on the other hand she needs to build herself up .
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boysrus
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Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:51 am
| brightness wrote: | Spoiler alert
Miri calls over a friend Yocheved. She didn't know who to turn to since her husband just left . She decided that her mother wouldn't be a good choice so she asks her friend going back to first grade to come down. Miri is going on and on and on about who awful Aryeh us. How she has gone through so much and he just walks off. She is really angry at the therapist. Her friend is trying to get in a word just Miri doesn't stop ranting. Finally her friend asks if she can say what she thinks. She is firm with Miri and tells her she has to start being more confident with herself. She tells her all her life she has been very needy. People have tried to build her up but never seemed to do much for her. Yocheved tells Miri it's not fair to her husband to her kid. She needs to get help and be more confident. Yocheved feels awful being so harsh with her but says she is doing it our of pure love for her. Then the baby starts to cry. Miri goes over to him and says all Will be on.
My take it's what Miri needed to hear. Feel bad for her that Aryeh walked out, he is a jerk for doing that but on the other hand she needs to build herself up . |
I think it was awful. Miri is in such a state already she really did not need to hear any of that right now. Was not nice of the friend 
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brightness
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Thu, Jun 08 2023, 10:54 am
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I'm sure was hard for her to hear but could be that could save her marriage.
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amother
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Thu, Jun 08 2023, 11:17 am
My take is that it’s okay for a wife to be needy and it’s the husbands job to fill that need.
Aryeh has not been a present husband at all, which made the neediness that much bigger.
It’s not her fault that Aryeh didn’t have a childhood and can’t fill her normal needs as a wife.
If Aryeh would have been there for her instead of being there for his mother, her neediness would have likely resolved itself.
It’s a human need to know that you have someone in your life that puts you first.
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amother
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Thu, Jun 08 2023, 12:06 pm
What does her neediness have to do with the fact they he bailed on her, when they have a child together? And she’s been so supportive of him throughout. She could have been angry at him for dragging her into his mess.
Yes maybe she needs to work on her self esteem, but that’s a secondary issue at this point.
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amother
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Thu, Jun 08 2023, 7:38 pm
| brightness wrote: | | I'm sure was hard for her to hear but could be that could save her marriage. |
Her being unsure of herself didn't contribute to her marriage issues. Aryeh and his family did.
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amother
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Thu, Jun 08 2023, 7:41 pm
| amother Gardenia wrote: | What does her neediness have to do with the fact they he bailed on her, when they have a child together? And she’s been so supportive of him throughout. She could have been angry at him for dragging her into his mess.
Yes maybe she needs to work on her self esteem, but that’s a secondary issue at this point. |
Yes!!!
"It's not fair to Aryeh or her child". What??? Despite her neediness, she was an awesome and most supportive wife to a man who wasn't a proper husband to her and wasn't even there when she was in labor, and whose mother made her life miserable!!
It would help Miri herself internally to be more sure of herself, but her neediness has zero to do with her marriage.
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amother
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Thu, Jun 08 2023, 9:05 pm
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I didn’t read every installment but honestly Miri didn’t come across as overly needy 🤷♀️
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